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Quote: 36645; Rating: 495; [+|-]
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<jay\> the cock from burger king tastes better, dunno why tho :|
<jay\> coke
<jay\> ffs
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Quote: 36646; Rating: 567; [+|-]
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<punchcard> you know you're a geek when you read the headline "Bush won't order ports reopened" and think they are talking about a firewall
<punchcard> "By order of the President of the United States of America, -A input -p boats -l -j reject."
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Quote: 36658; Rating: 700; [+|-]
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<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned.
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Quote: 36661; Rating: 208; [+|-]
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<Dulan> And if anyone here doesn't know what bukkake is....ask Unifex to explain it. :P
<unifex> It's a kind of pastry, obviously.
<unifex> From Sweden.
<unifex> Not alot of people like that pastry though.
<unifex> People get so messy when eating it, too.
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Quote: 36664; Rating: 186; [+|-]
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* Topic is 'Download help NOT available here.'
* eats ([email protected]) has joined #new2mIRC
<eats> i need to get a trial version of maya 3d software. were in this program can i go to look this up?
<@corm> www.download.com
<eats> not that comon
<@corm> oh
<@corm> you mean on mirc
<eats> yes sir/mame
<@corm> push Ctrl and F4 at the same time, it opens the file search dialog
* eats ([email protected]) has left #New2mIRC
<@corm> snicker
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Quote: 36669; Rating: 626; [+|-]
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<HoaX> did you get your ticket?
<FLB> No :(
<FLB> My dad got home to late.
<FLB> I will get it tommorow *he* says
<HoaX> mmhmmm
<FLB> He's kinda unreliable.
<FLB> Been smoking pot so long.
<HoaX> like your soldier in bed?
<FLB> Pardon me?
<FLB> Did you just comment on my sexual performance?
<HoaX> no... never
<HoaX> i wasnt so asleep during that camping trip
<FLB> That's what I thought.
<FLB> I jizzed in your water bottle.
<HoaX> it happens
<FLB> Yeah.
<FLB> Sorry about that.
<HoaX> no hard feelings
<FLB> It was there, and I didn't want to disrupt nature with my man seed.
<HoaX> but... why was it green and orange?
<FLB> I have issues.
<Peloquin> hahaha
<FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in my nuts.
* Peloquin changes topic to 'http://www.matazone.co.uk/kitty2.htm | <FLB> I have issues. <FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in my nuts.'
<FLB> Would you jizz in her face? Would you jizz on her lace? Would you jizz here or there, would you jizz anywhere? Would you jizz FLB, would you jizz, jizz on me?
<Syfoon> You both need to see a doctor... a head doctor
<Peloquin> haha
* Peloquin makes it clear that he had no part in the conversation
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Quote: 36670; Rating: 112; [+|-]
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Dribblee: how many coursees yo udoing?
Dominion: 5 or 6...I forget
Dominion: 2+1+1+1+1
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Quote: 36672; Rating: 958; [+|-]
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<Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
<Ramza> and don't say because of windows
<Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown Host"?
<Ramza> yes
<Cyan683> .....
<Cyan683> YES IS NOT AN ANSWER TO "A OR B?"
* Cyan683 sets mode: +i
* Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham! -- Kibou to Hikari no script)
* Cyan683 sets mode: -i
* Ramza ([email protected]) has joined #starmen
<Ramza> no?
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Quote: 36673; Rating: 788; [+|-]
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<Kaz|Work> holy fucking shit
<Kaz|Work> im out of a job
<Kaz|Work> the place blew up
<@Zoot> better change your nick then.
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Quote: 36675; Rating: 1198; [+|-]
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<synthie> one of my cats was licking her butt like cats do...
<synthie> farted in her own face and fell off the bed
<Sheri> thats why i hate animals
<synthie> knocked herself out
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Quote: 36676; Rating: 302; [+|-]
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<atomicbanana> Realtor came today.
<martha> did you get any on you?
<atomicbanana> no. I had a cumbrella
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Quote: 36677; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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<+Onima> ioops
<@kal-el> iOops?
<@kal-el> heh
<+Onima> oops
<@kal-el> thats the new mac error system :P
<+Onima> lol
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Quote: 36684; Rating: 195; [+|-]
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<[Banned-H]G-Daddy>no, see, do a threesome 2guys/1girl... so you have the bigger dick (gotta take a chance) and she'll ignore him.. so you can do his boyfriend with him watching :)
<Claus> woah there G!
<Isajeep> rofl
<Claus> "so you can do his boyfriend with him watching"
<Isajeep> I don't call him Gay-Daddy for nothing
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> er.. her her her
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> jesus... what am I thinking
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Quote: 36685; Rating: 228; [+|-]
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<becky> 18 f* Pic on Profile
<kari> hey becky?.. what does * mean?
<martha> kari, it means she hasnt completed her operation yet
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Quote: 36688; Rating: 806; [+|-]
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<Gus_Hobbleton> ok, there's a class full of retard kids...
<Gus_Hobbleton> and for some reason or another, they're learning about beds
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes up to one kid, points at a bed, and says "what kind of bed is that?"
<Gus_Hobbleton> kid says "qyeen sized bed!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher says "good little retard!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes to the next kid, says "what kind of bed is that?"
<Gus_Hobbleton> kid says "its a king sized bed!"
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher says "good little retard!!"
<Spork> ...
<Gus_Hobbleton> teacher goes to the next kid, and points at one of those beds...
<Gus_Hobbleton> you know, the kind with one on top of the other...
<Gus_Hobbleton> umm....
<Spork> bunk beds?
<Gus_Hobbleton> GOOD LITTLE RETARD!!!
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Quote: 36690; Rating: 455; [+|-]
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<blie> i need a new girlfriend
<blie> mine sucks
<kelseyB> yours sucks?
<kelseyB> ill take her
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Quote: 36695; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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<pip> what does the +iz mean by my name?
<MrFalcon> it means you can /disco
<-- pip has quit (Quit: Disconnecting)
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Quote: 36699; Rating: 803; [+|-]
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<CptPlanet> wtf? i can't find any lobster fetish sites out there.
<CptPlanet> and you call yourself an internet.
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Quote: 36700; Rating: 86; [+|-]
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<Christy> People who talk in metaphors outta shampoo my crotch.
<FL3A|afk> people who shampoo crotches outta shave
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Quote: 36702; Rating: 687; [+|-]
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<copernicu> what are bad noises for hard drives to make?
* copernicu has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
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Quote: 36704; Rating: 503; [+|-]
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<Moonpie> Dude
<Moonpie> Don't ever put deodorant on your crotch and try to lick it off.
<Moose[DWI]> ...
<Moose[DWI]> OK THEN
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Quote: 36707; Rating: 74; [+|-]
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*** Aplo ([email protected]) has joined #c++
<Aplo> !list
<Hexley> Aplo: Please type "no warez here toidinamai" (without quotes).
<Aplo> no warez here toidinamai
<Hexley> Aplo: Thanks for Playing. Now read what you said (last word reversed)... ;)
<IRoC> lol
<TelimTor> lol
*** Aplo ([email protected]) has left #c++
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Quote: 36711; Rating: -9; [+|-]
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<Chucklez> we use to stick icecream down our pants =P course it was melted by the time you got outside and far enough away so they didnt see you eating it :/
<moo_nv> ewww
<Asmodeus-AFK> I didn't want to know that
<moo_nv> yeah :(
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Quote: 36712; Rating: 63; [+|-]
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*** Soze-AWAY is now known as Soze
* Soze is back -( Doin' stuff. )- gone 2 hr 46 min 26 s
<Al_Koholic> Jesus
<Al_Koholic> that was a long masturbation session
<Soze> It's fucking raw... luckily, the blood can be used as lube.
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Quote: 36713; Rating: 34; [+|-]
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<nice_sheep_molester> the united negro college fund: helping youth avoid being on a fox tv show on saturday nights for 25 years
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Quote: 36714; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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<krazegurl> fuck
<krazegurl> i smell like cock
<krazegurl> i didnt wash my face well enough or it went up my nose
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Quote: 36718; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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* ChanServ sets mode: +v Desi_pants
<+Desi_pants> what?
<+Desi_pants> WHY DID I GET +VD? I DIDNT SIGN IN!
<*megan_nosebleed> you should do that
<+Desi_pants> oh! megan's here! haha hi megan.
<*megan_nosebleed> you got it from me
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Quote: 36719; Rating: 198; [+|-]
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* Topic is '<Tackmer> this is the dirty bisexuals zone'
<JonnYNug> Dirty Bixexuals Zone
<JonnYNug> Whoa i'm out'a here,, tnx for putting that in the topic,,
* JonnYNug ([email protected]) has left #DBZ
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Quote: 36720; Rating: -3; [+|-]
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<AimBot|Sleep> guys this is insane
<AimBot|Sleep> i have spent 14 hours on one drawing
<rambo> what is it a drawing of?
<AimBot|Sleep> a hallway
<AimBot|Sleep> booooooooooooring
<AimBot|Sleep> 14 mouther fucking hours
<rambo> why does it take you 14 hours to draw a drawing of a hallway?
<Captain_Ron> thats more time than ive spent drawing my entire life
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Quote: 36721; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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<skyy> how often does the average 20 year old think of suicide?
<Kueller> every 6.7 hours?
<[H]Scope-Laptop> everytime he gets killed by a camper
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Quote: 36722; Rating: 149; [+|-]
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<NickBlasta> i just pwned a fly with a quarter
<rzrshrp> real blastas use their hands
<NickBlasta> i have evolved to use tools of pwnage
<rzrshrp> ...a quarter
<rzrshrp> it's a fucking quarter
<NickBlasta> deadly in the right hands
<rzrshrp> lol, fool
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Quote: 36723; Rating: 371; [+|-]
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<carrot_> blast
<S|eeper> blast???
<carrot_> tis my non swear word swear word
<Audio> Mine is blowfish
<S|eeper> mine is fuck
<S|eeper> oh wait
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Quote: 36725; Rating: 336; [+|-]
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<Aidan> If you found out a commet was about to strike Earth and you had five minutes to live, what you would do?
<Alsander> You mean, who would I rape
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Quote: 36731; Rating: 128; [+|-]
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<C4ndl3s> I'm Back
<DirtyMexican> oh god no!
<DirtyMexican> bye
* Quits: DirtyMexican ([email protected]) (Quit: )
<BenZor> rofl
<BenZor> i needed to talk to him too, thanks C4ndl3s
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Quote: 36732; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a lesbian pornstar most of the time
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Quote: 36734; Rating: 478; [+|-]
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<smileygirl> you say
<^haploid^> Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very close to composing complete sentences. I applaud you.
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Quote: 36736; Rating: 70; [+|-]
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<kitteh> new vanilla cock
<kitteh> cock!@?!@
<`e|mmaS> BAHAHHA
<kitteh> COKE
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Quote: 36737; Rating: 161; [+|-]
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<Althorrat> Sean and Dan provided communion wafers as refreshments. They got them surplus off eBay.
<Althorrat> mmm... surplus Christ.
<Asshead9000> heh. were they the good ones or the papery ones?
<Althorrat> to be honest, I didn't try them.
<Asshead9000> who won the debate?
<Althorrat> (considers saying, "Jesus always leaves a bad taste in my mouth", but doesn't)
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Quote: 36743; Rating: 402; [+|-]
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<dr_dna> no, i love animals - ive been a vulcan for 12 years
<jdk> don't you mean a vegan?
<dr_dna> what, with these ears?
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Quote: 36744; Rating: 126; [+|-]
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<Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn
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Quote: 36747; Rating: 868; [+|-]
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<stupidMM> heh i admitted that freely at the pub once
<stupidMM> this chick came up to me and was like
<stupidMM> "so what do you do for fun?"
<stupidMM> and i was like
<stupidMM> "sit in a dark room and chat on irc at 3 in the morning"
<stupidMM> she turned around and walked off
<stupidMM> and i was like . heh man i'm leet
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Quote: 36754; Rating: 428; [+|-]
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<BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man
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Quote: 36760; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<BenZor> ASIO hired my cat to spy on me, it goes in. it goes out now it sits here watching me, im sure they bugged it and they call it out every so often to change tapes :/
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Quote: 36768; Rating: 239; [+|-]
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<D> I've been blowing my nose on the leg of my pants for the past few hours, and now my spoon just fell out of my bowl.
<D> It landed on a towel.
<Jens> ...
<D> I believe this to be God's way of saying "You fucking dumbass."
<ZMan> D. Never reproduce.
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Quote: 36769; Rating: -1; [+|-]
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<UN-REAL> ihel leyha id use http mirc hahaha
<UN-REAL> like idd iwhe ni worked at the ama
<@EzyRider> we need an interpreter in here for UN-REAL..
<@EzyRider> fucked if i can follow half of what he says
<@[[x]]> LOL
<@Bloody_D_Death> LOL
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Quote: 36771; Rating: 181; [+|-]
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<clay> ryan isnt here
<clay> im declaring marshall law
*** clay sets mode: -o clay
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Quote: 36774; Rating: 67; [+|-]
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*** Rimbaud sets mode: +v HerrZombie
<HerrZombie> yep
<HerrZombie> ty Rim
<HerrZombie> I didn't even have to ask
<HerrZombie> you're on the ball today ;)
<Rimbaud> I'm good like that. People want me to + them, I just go right ahead and do it.
<Rimbaud> A sort of + rape, if you will
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Quote: 36775; Rating: -14; [+|-]
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<ThreeZee> woo
<ThreeZee> overcocked!
<ThreeZee> lol
<ThreeZee> CLOCk
<ThreeZee> my bad
<ThreeZee> hehe
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Quote: 36782; Rating: 444; [+|-]
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<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all the people around the world who work in any form of customer reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the money in the
pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so people will never have to deal with completely retarded customers again.
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Quote: 36784; Rating: 78; [+|-]
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<bleepstreet> i have 2 dvd drives showing up in my computer but i only have 1
<bleepstreet> how do i delete one of them?
<NE|Strand`WAGr> maybe it had babys?
<bleepstreet> then how do i abort teh baby?
<eyesore> coat hanger and draino
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