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Quote: 34526; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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[+Mr_Day]: Santa Claus, now he's real. At least, that's what they call the pervert around here, who masturbates on rooftops. He comes down chimneys.
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Quote: 34527; Rating: 115; [+|-]
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<IRON> I have the match of Brithish Bulldog vs Own hart in germany
<KrazyIvan> how'd you get so lucky?
<KrazyIvan> I've always wanted to download videos of men in tight lycra pretending to slap each other
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Quote: 34528; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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<pj325is> did you get a boner when your cousin told you about her lesbian experiences?
<BigMilla2> no
<pj325is> ok then
<pj325is> *coughliarcough*
<Cruzn15> are you impitant?
<pj325is> impotent
<StealthBuddha> important?
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Quote: 34529; Rating: 396; [+|-]
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<BigMilla2> but no I haven't done anything with my cousin
<BigMilla2> except for giving her a hug
<pj325is> and talk to her about sex
<Cruzn15> was that an arrousing hug?
<BigMilla2> oh yes!!!
<BigMilla2> I popped a 12 incher
<BigMilla2> and then we had sex in the trailer
<BigMilla2> and my sister got in on it too
<StealthBuddha> hell yeah
<Cruzn15> Now entering Alabama.
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Quote: 34530; Rating: 337; [+|-]
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<Kazimierz> Dick Van Dyke
<Kazimierz> rulez j00
<nkrn> D:
<AeroBob> Indeed.
<AeroBob> D'you know that's not his real name?
<AeroBob> It used to be 'Penis van Lesbian' until he changed it 'cause he thought it wasn't suitable for showbusiness.
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Quote: 34531; Rating: 180; [+|-]
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<nxn> best thing to do while high is wank
<nxn> best thing to do any time is wank
<nxn> actually not when you catch your mom masterbating... but close to any time
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Quote: 34534; Rating: 752; [+|-]
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<Zer0-kewl> and in network properties i'm static on 192.168.1.30
<Prem0> thats why
<Prem0> ass
<Prem0> your ip is too high
<Prem0> cant go above 255
<Zer0-kewl> too high? wtf?
<Prem0> your at 300
<Zer0-kewl> Thirty
<Prem0> if U wanted 30 it should be 192.168.1.030
<Killeroy> wtf?
<Killeroy> lemme quote that on bash.org :)
<Prem0> remember it adds 0's to the end
<Prem0> lol
<Zer0-kewl> since when?
<Prem0> since forever
<Prem0> thats tcp/ip brother
<Zer0-kewl> if it thought my IP was 300...i doubt i woudl be talking to you hear.
<Prem0> change it to .030 and then try it
<Killeroy> prem0, don't make it worse for you...
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Quote: 34535; Rating: 612; [+|-]
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<Match> ic
<Kayin> dont say ic. its unbecoming
<Match> i know. sorry
<H4Z3> why is it unbecoming?
<Match> we just learned about this in english. if you say things like i see and yup, it makes you seem passive
<Kayin> as if you're uninterested in the conversation
<H4Z3> ic
<Match> jerk
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Quote: 34538; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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* Joins: DanVanNinja
<beej> jesus christ
<beej> i need to get laid
<beej> i looked at dan's name and saw "DanVaGina"
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Quote: 34539; Rating: -54; [+|-]
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<davie>My friend is in jail because he wanted to make his parents mad. so he fingered his 5 year old sister and she told the doctor. he's 13 and she a prostitue.
<aidman923>blimey.
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Quote: 34540; Rating: -26; [+|-]
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this is from #guitar on DALnet, G/F is a guitar chord for all you who may not know.
<Cosmorpheus> he
<Cosmorpheus> y
<crudelydrawnspiral> well said cosmo
<Cosmorpheus> fingering for a G/F anyone?
<AussieAusbourne> i finger my girlfriend
<washcloth-nj> pull her panties down, thats number
<washcloth-nj> 1
<Cosmorpheus> funny
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Quote: 34542; Rating: 700; [+|-]
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[-=VU=-] i wish i had enough space to breakdance :(
[XwHR] delete some stuff
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Quote: 34551; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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<Averox> and I'm about to shove my fist through someone's head. Begins with an "L" and ends with a "ordship"
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Quote: 34553; Rating: 9; [+|-]
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<mindstorms> i so l33t.....i combined my radio and computer output to my speakers
<mindstorms> so now my head hurts when i have the radio and winamp on!
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Quote: 34555; Rating: 390; [+|-]
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<@xZaratustra> ADVENTURE IS THE BEST GAME EVER
<@Brentai> NO PITFALL IS
<Xerox> Statbuilder!
<Nyphur> NOTEPAD!
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Quote: 34602; Rating: 1493; [+|-]
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TECC: |:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|
TECC: oops, soz. wrong window.
Fuhrur: why in the fuck would you type that to anyone?
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Quote: 34603; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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<miv> i'm gona take a nap
<miv> i'll dedicate this nap to all the hoes in japan
<miv> all the 10-14 yearolds
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Quote: 34616; Rating: 608; [+|-]
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<AEternus> my stomach is undergoing disasters unnamed at the moment
<AEternus> but you can't say no to the grandparents
<BlahFromStone> Yeah...
<BlahFromStone> Who can resist a nice, juicy plate of grandparents.
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Quote: 34644; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<jay123> i only do fat chicks , their chunky but their funky
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Quote: 34648; Rating: 1405; [+|-]
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<hailz_b> pepsi is gayyyyyyy
<hailz_b> gayyyyyyyy
<hailz_b> give me cock anyday
<hailz_b> i mean coke!
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Quote: 34656; Rating: 177; [+|-]
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<+Psyko> I'm gonna go hump the couch
<+Psyko> ~*boredom*~
<+Yamatto> dude, your couch puts out?
<+Psyko> wall too
<+Yamatto> damn
<+Yamatto> i want your house
<+Yamatto> unless you're like swapping wall for "mom"
<+Andaru> hahaha
<+Andaru> and couch for "little brother"
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Quote: 34657; Rating: 89; [+|-]
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<DrNick668> i'd have a bad attitude too if someone put somethin big and round in my mouth and stretched it
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Quote: 34660; Rating: 67; [+|-]
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<DentArthur> i took it a step further with the super glue in mouth incident :)
<milenko17> DentArthur: it could be worse you could superglue your foreskin together
<DentArthur> milenko17: it'd keep my KB cleaner :)
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Quote: 34662; Rating: 1433; [+|-]
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(TRANCEBOY) But i'm joining the reserves.
(TRANCEBOY) Airborne Infantry
(^BiAnCoOcH^) really so da airforce in other words
(TRANCEBOY) No not the airforce,
(TRANCEBOY) Airforce is flying F16 jets etc.
(TRANCEBOY) Airborne infantry is ground combat deployed from black hawks, hueys, chinooks,
(^BiAnCoOcH^) hmmm ok den caause i understood dat but n e way
(TRANCEBOY) Ok Bianca, i'll put it in your terms.
(TRANCEBOY) Me and Cletus run around dem bushes looking for dem charlies and we's get put there by those dang cars with wings ya hear?
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Quote: 34663; Rating: 550; [+|-]
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<RushMore> Shit, i was in physics and near shit myself
<RushMore> THe place went black, and i thought i crashed
<RushMore> THEN a light came on, and i saw a ball dropping, but it was only at like 8fps
<RushMore> I thought "Shit, i need a new graphics card"
<RushMore> Then i found out, the teacher turned out all the lights, put on a strobe light at 8flashes/s and dropped a ball so you could see its accelleration
<RushMore> Dickhead.
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Quote: 34665; Rating: 356; [+|-]
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*** ubermensch- is now known as peer
<peer> DIE POOFSTER
*** Quits: Poofster ([email protected]) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
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Quote: 34667; Rating: 131; [+|-]
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<Sticks> I'm always constantly mortified [no pun intended] at the continual degredation of people grammer and spelling on the net...
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Quote: 34668; Rating: 116; [+|-]
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* Erve remembers a certain bi person saying WhiteyFord was teh goods
<Rik> was he a kitchen storage product?
<WhiteyFord> no, it was Revenge's wife
<DDsD_EsaY> *chuckle*
<DDsD_EsaY> you sex up Revenges wife?
<WhiteyFord> id hit it
<DDsD_EsaY> but you didnt.. why?
<WhiteyFord> Revenge
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Quote: 34669; Rating: 154; [+|-]
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[BiC]: i got a jobb! woohoo!
[x-im]: sw33t dude :) what kinda job?
[BiC]: warehouse-thingie-kinda job... :P
[Nemesis]: my job is living, and the payment is the job itself ;]
[x-im]: your getting rippedoff pal, go talk to the union.
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Quote: 34675; Rating: 292; [+|-]
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<gh5046> Mokey: How big are your boobs?
<Mokey> 38 aa
<gh5046> yo baby, you're shaped like an overweight 13 year-old
<Mokey> yep
<Mokey> that's me.
<gh5046> that so made me seem like an asshole
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Quote: 34679; Rating: 228; [+|-]
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<eViL_fOoTwEaR> Now. Do you know what nickserv is?
<slsc83jvc03> nickserv is somthing that is mean to people for no reason
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Quote: 34683; Rating: 614; [+|-]
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<Tweeder> dude, i was listning to a celine dion cd, and i pulled up to a toll booth, and the guy called me a fag. >:|
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Quote: 34686; Rating: 623; [+|-]
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<Hypr> i heard theres a mexican equvalent of warez called juarez
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Quote: 34688; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<@sumppi> "A consultant is a man who knows 99 ways to make love but doesn't know any women"
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Quote: 34694; Rating: 2107; [+|-]
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<`Frieza> dont you get it! I have a giant Brain that is capable of reduceing anything down to a yes or no question.
<bUdDyLeE> LOL `Frieza I don't think that's how it's supposed to work
<bUdDyLeE> watch
<bUdDyLeE> What is the meaning of life?
<`Frieza> yes
<bUdDyLeE> elaborate
<`Frieza> no
<bUdDyLeE> fair enough.
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Quote: 34705; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<Loki> zig, tell me where you live so i can kill you
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Quote: 34707; Rating: 1201; [+|-]
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<morah> I MADE A VOODOO DOLL
* morah stabs Vireo in the eye
...
* Vireo ([email protected]) Quit (Dead socket)
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Quote: 34718; Rating: 274; [+|-]
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<Kube> lots of girls like me
<Kube> well
<Kube> one
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|
Quote: 34720; Rating: 523; [+|-]
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<abs> shit
<abs> my mom fell down the stairs
<abs> brb
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Quote: 34741; Rating: 93; [+|-]
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<Nyphur> Everything I say is a lie.
<Nyphur> I AM COMPULSIVE LIAR!
<CWGerard> Oh no, what to believe!!!
<CWGerard> I ARE BORK! DOWNLOAD TEH PATCH!
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Quote: 34744; Rating: -50; [+|-]
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[18:06] * @N4m3k ponders on that..I'll take note of it..and see which topic comes out better.
<+Zer0-kewl> "It smells like ass in here...but yet i stay and carry on with my lurking and writing"
<+Zer0-kewl> but that only works if it smells like ass in your room.
<@N4m3k> my room doesn't smell like ass :-
<@N4m3k> I hope that doesn't make it to bash :-
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Quote: 34746; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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<Mank> I missed about half of the movie
<Mank> If you catch my drift
<waffle> Mank: stop with the public masterbastion
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|
Quote: 34748; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<Watermelon> so many fruits...kiwi, peaches, banana
<Watermelon> and me!
<Watermelon> bwhahaha
<Kiwi> ...
<Watermelon> we almost have a salad
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Quote: 34755; Rating: -160; [+|-]
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<Ac3-Drakenon> when i was with pure at the laser tag place there were some asians and i yelled
<Ac3-Drakenon> "I LIKE FLIED LICE"
<mr`bob> and then they kicked ur ass?
<Ac3-Drakenon> lol no, they were lil fat asians
<Ac3-Drakenon> i step on them and get blubber on my shoe
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Quote: 34759; Rating: 140; [+|-]
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<AlmanzoW> Oh please. Being in a car with Zot is like being strapped to your best friend's dad while he gets hard looking at Playboy
|
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Quote: 34760; Rating: 628; [+|-]
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<Koyama> that masturbation thread has gotten way out of hand
|
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Quote: 34768; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<Shadye> reboot: gibb0r us pic of your wife
<reboot> if I ever find one, I'll scan it
<ArtecMice> drug her and scan her face
<reboot> there's an idea, and I could get sex at the same time
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Quote: 34769; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<MindRape> don't mind me, i'm divorced =)
<MindRape> still going thru the damn thing
<MindRape> she's sueing me for my penis
<Deeply> suing you for your penis?
<MindRape> yea, its bigger than hers :>
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Quote: 34771; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<DakotaKid> MultiAGP: Bend over, I got all the ram you need.
|
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Quote: 34772; Rating: 956; [+|-]
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<Waxahachi> No. I am a programmer & I want friends that I can identify with intellectually and personably.
<BoDePlOt> if i eat anutter peanut butter cup i think i am going to puke
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