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Quote: 22688; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<rogue2> a diablo SV just pulled in to my parking lot
<rogue2> it's michael bolton driving the diablo
<Snow> Did Michael Bolton really just drive a Lamborghini Diablo into your parking lot?
<Snow> That's so absurd it's actually believable.
<Snow> Oh, I have to go. Edward James Olmos just pulled into my drive way in a Panoz Roadster.
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Quote: 22696; Rating: 265; [+|-]
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<Pandemonium> Those popups could poke someone's eye out.
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Quote: 22698; Rating: 115; [+|-]
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<Soda_Tab> man its so much beter to not buy magazines and read all the articles online...
<Soda_Tab> period.
<spazzer> that's unless you like bringing a laptop in with you to read on the shitter
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Quote: 22703; Rating: 104; [+|-]
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* ILoveJackDaniels looks out of the window to laugh at the man wearing a mini-dress dancing in front of a car
<ILoveJackDaniels> Accelerate, damn you!
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Quote: 22704; Rating: 141; [+|-]
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(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, & worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P
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Quote: 22707; Rating: 754; |
<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED
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Quote: 22713; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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<RpgTheIdler> you know, if there was this girl, and she was all like, "Let's have sex", but I was playing DDR, I'd be all like "Bitch, can't you see I'm busy?"
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Quote: 22724; Rating: 98; [+|-]
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<jehodgson> do fighter pilots actually wear bras on their heads?
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Quote: 22725; Rating: 703; [+|-]
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<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a webcam and have to be naked
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Quote: 22727; Rating: 861; [+|-]
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(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon?
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Quote: 22733; Rating: 297; [+|-]
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McPhile: Planet Earth is God's shitty, exploitative reality show.
McPhile: I can just see him up there with Michael and Gabriel, bag of microwave popcorn in his lap, watching. "Whoa! Did you see THAT? I didn't even know I built them to do that."
ecstaticsurfacer: Hell yes. I've been saying for years that my life is God's favourite soap opera.
McPhile : Well, there's probably not enough sex in your life for it to be His favorite.
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Quote: 22742; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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<miriamb> is there really horse in horseradish
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Quote: 22745; Rating: 73; [+|-]
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<@Bikutoru|gone> well, you beat me
<@Bikutoru|gone> i'm out of ammo
<+Edwin> already?
<@Bikutoru|gone> damn right
<+Edwin> jeez no wonder men call you the "minute man" in bed
<@Bikutoru|gone> =|
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Quote: 22748; Rating: 152; [+|-]
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<cha0s-> Dude, this one time I was playing mortal kombat as Kano... and I did the fatality on my opponent and I go "ULTRA COMBO FATALITY NIGGER WHAT" and my mom heard me :(
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Quote: 22751; Rating: 158; [+|-]
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<jimblob> did you know that haggii (thats more than one haggis) have two legs shorter than the other two, this enables them to run around hills very quickly, the down side is that , depending on which two legs are the shortest, the haggis can only run round the hills in one direction
<miriamb> really Jim?
<miriamb> gosh
<jimblob> yes miriam
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Quote: 22754; Rating: 513; [+|-]
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<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb
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Quote: 22757; Rating: 285; [+|-]
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<[zc]Kinslayer> omfg
<[zc]Kinslayer> it's days like this i hate my fucking job
<[zc]FuLLcLiP|work|> why whats up
<[zc]Kinslayer> argh this customer cannot find her address bar
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Quote: 22768; Rating: 15; [+|-]
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<KKR[b0r3d]> i once had a wet dream and was glued to my bed the following day
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Quote: 22770; Rating: 221; [+|-]
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<m477[LainOS]> Phone call: "I can't get online" Sir do you use AOL? "Yes" It's working then
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Quote: 22774; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<Sureshot> some cunt nicked my milk
<NyseriA> i was so fucked off last year with someone nicking my milk i pissed in it
<Sureshot> ROFL
<NyseriA> i nearly fyucking died when i walked into the kitchen in the morning to see the fucker eating it with frostieS :)
<NyseriA> i have also soaked a cheese in rancid milk
<NyseriA> washed it
<NyseriA> and put it back in the fridge
<NyseriA> some fucker ate that as well
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Quote: 22778; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<Rodent> I wish I was still living at my parents... Responsibility and freedom is overrated.
<Rodent> Not having to go shopping for food is god.
<Rodent> Not having to work is Jesus.
<alisdair> not being able to bring girls home is divine
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Quote: 22782; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<Ak0> fuckin hell
<Ak0> am i the only person who has these probs with ofp
<GUZZA> the short answer whould be 'yes'
<GUZZA> the long answer would be 'yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssss'
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Quote: 22792; Rating: 196; [+|-]
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<drunkers> sugas in jail now
<RtWhO> whats your source?
<RtWhO> I thought he was on his honey mooon
<drunkers> same thing
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Quote: 22793; Rating: 1768; [+|-]
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<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> shit
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Quote: 22796; Rating: 697; [+|-]
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<Boogieman> I run my fingers up your left thigh
<Boogieman> oops, uhh, wrong channel
<Status> LOL!!
<Boogieman> forget you ever saw that
<Status> Gee, now would be a great time to take that new screenshot...
* Boogieman glances around nervously
<Asmodi> rofl, boogieman, what cha doin?
<Boogieman> certainly not trying to have permiscuous sex with cyber strangers, thats for sure
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Quote: 22797; Rating: 365; [+|-]
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<Danny> i never had problems with any italian folks
<Dr SpaZZo> I've had a problem with them grabbing me by the neck and offering me a vanilla coke
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Quote: 22799; Rating: 759; [+|-]
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<briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy. My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
<sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest
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Quote: 22803; Rating: 346; [+|-]
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<+[zc]Kinslayer> I tried to have this customer read off his modem's brand name and he said he can't read...stupid Memphis customers.
<+[zc]Kinslayer> so I was wondering wtf he's going to do with the Internet, but then I remembered you don't have to read pr0n
<+[zc]Kinslayer> as long as you can type "neked chiqs" you're all set
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Quote: 22806; Rating: 77; [+|-]
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<Scofco> being a global operator is annoying, you see everyone that comes and goes from the server
<phaded> the things some people complain about...
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Quote: 22810; Rating: 85; [+|-]
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*** kolby was kicked by Scofco (Get off IRC and go fall in love, you damn pussy)
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Quote: 22814; Rating: 450; [+|-]
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<Staunchy> wet suits are cool..... i lost 3 pints of fluid today
<Sureshot^> lol
<Sureshot^> they're class for cold sea
<Sureshot^> and avoiding jellyfish stings
<Staunchy> no I mean girls in wetsuits
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Quote: 22818; Rating: 898; [+|-]
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<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF
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Quote: 22822; Rating: -394; [+|-]
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<FreshBrew> niggers are good, but you cant leave fried chicken lying around, or watermelon. they'll snap it up like a fucking.... nigger or something.
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Quote: 22827; Rating: 294; [+|-]
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*** Joins: bowswer ([email protected])
[20:38] * Freshbrew jumps over bowswers head, and pulls the key on the other side of the bridge and laughes manically as he watches bowswer fall into the 8-bit lava
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Quote: 22829; Rating: 219; [+|-]
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<CaptainCasual> thats just goatse enough to work
<NickBlasta> Fruedian slip?
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Quote: 22849; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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<Stormcaller> oh! i found a caltrop in my living room today
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Quote: 22853; Rating: 421; [+|-]
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([aE]ZERO) //timerc 0 0 /color background $rand(0,15)
([aE]ZERO) that is ownage
(Headache) no1, i mean NO1 is stupid enuf to do that
(Headache) NOBODY
<@[MORAT]HellCat> hmm how can i turn it off??? pls :)
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Quote: 22855; Rating: 173; [+|-]
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<@Vitenka> ani, for one - you're not a country
<@Vitenka> for another, if you were, I'd bomb you
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Quote: 22856; Rating: 272; [+|-]
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(Gr0wleh) ouch
(Gr0wleh) I just hit myself
(Gr0wleh) in the balls
(Gr0wleh) brb while I wince in pain
(Gr0wleh) this... hurts
(Gr0wleh) had my hands on top of my head
(Gr0wleh) and they slipped off
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Quote: 22858; Rating: 145; [+|-]
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<@shp> you think when we are older we will all sit in irc and say stuff like "remember when we were young and drinks were cheap and priests could molest young boys?"
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Quote: 22859; Rating: 374; [+|-]
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<@Iceman> OW i just stabbed myself in the eye with a mechanical pencil
<@Iceman> was trying to get it to stick in my ceiling, it fell in my eye
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Quote: 22867; Rating: 1254; [+|-]
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(Headache) oh <censored>, the power just went off
(Headache) ....
(Headache) wait a minute
(Headache) y does this seem wrong
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Quote: 22869; Rating: 344; [+|-]
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<@Kamakazi> i've seen a cat land on it's head
<@Kamakazi> it was my fault
<@Kamakazi> i tried to make it do 2 backflips
<@Kamakazi> it was at my friends house
<@Kamakazi> i wanted to see if they ALWAYS landed on their feet
<@Kamakazi> so i dropped him and he did.
<@Kamakazi> and i was like hmm...
<@Kamakazi> i wonder how many backflips he could do then
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Quote: 22873; Rating: 414; [+|-]
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<fireserve> !is the cumulitve mutiplication thing
<Benoit> ! is lots of things
<fireserve> like 6! = 6x5x4x3x2x1
<Wolfman_Dain> ! is the programming term for "not"
<Benoit> ! at the end of a sentence can also mean exclamation... or so I've been told
<fireserve> and if you flip it upside down and put one at the front, its spanish
<Benoit> !, is there anything it cant do?
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Quote: 22876; Rating: 286; [+|-]
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<fireserve> now, if you were to say "you stupid elephant cock sucker" in a font like apple chancery, it would be rude yet classy
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Quote: 22883; Rating: 97; [+|-]
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<p13-om1kron> wtg, my mom is all like, "clean room, mess, now"
<BX|AnarchE> tell her if she sucks your cock, you'll consider it
<BX|AnarchE> that'll keep her on her toes
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Quote: 22887; Rating: 220; [+|-]
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<RageATM> been sitting here for so long when i walked into the other room i could still see my mirc screen
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Quote: 22895; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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<@yay> he doesn't have a low self esteem
<@yay> he thinks he's awesome
<@PhiL> really
<@yay> he's just depressed as hell because no one believes him
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Quote: 22897; Rating: 151; [+|-]
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<es0> how you use TCp with an abacus?
<%sluggo> TCP as in a TCP/IP stack?
<@Amish> that would be a fancy abacus, indeed :)
<%sluggo> that would be about as useful as half of the RFCs out there
<%sluggo> like "wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier pigeons"
<@Amish> yeah, B. F. Skinner was really pushing for that one
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Quote: 22899; Rating: 545; [+|-]
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<@freak> i now have a 'HEERZ WUT IM LISTANEN 2' plugin so i can piss everyone off
* @freak listens to PUDDLE OF MUDD - BLURRY
<@freak> not even a kick? :(
<@freak> fine
<@freak> i'll do it
*** freak was kicked by freak (NO FAGS IN #WTF ASSHOLE)
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