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Quote: 18255; Rating: 187; [+|-]
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<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't fail at it.
<UprightMan>Says Who?
<UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times
<UprightMan>and still mess up
<UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I still sometimes miss the toilet!
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Quote: 18256; Rating: 134; [+|-]
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<endura> I like to get an idea of how easy itd be to get laid if I walked onto a campus in a gorilla suit with a giant banana as genitalia
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Quote: 18269; Rating: -245; [+|-]
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<Morphious> in 7 yrs ive hacked 200 people
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Quote: 18270; Rating: 313; [+|-]
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<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
<BloodNose> to spend a night ...
<Blender13> woah
<BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
<cryptonix> his aunts
<BloodNose> lol
<Blender13> lol
<BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
<Blender13> obviously his aunt
<cryptonix> great aunt
<Blender13> ah
<BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a modeling job
<cryptonix> hot great aunt
<Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
<BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if it's alright with my aunt still
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Quote: 18271; Rating: 344; [+|-]
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<Shrapnull> It's not how the boat floats, or the size of the mast, but the motion of the ocean
<Aduro> lol
<Tiffy> haha
<cryptonix> just hope your seamen don't have scurvey :D
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Quote: 18274; Rating: 711; [+|-]
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<Storm> Ah shit theres a fire in the dorms
<Storm> Guess I should leave, brb
<Zekk> Hhmm.... that sucks
<Storm> Whew, it got put out
<Zekk> Everything OK?
<Storm> Yea, we are thinking about starting another one to get all the chicks out there in their underwear again =P
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Quote: 18286; Rating: 110; [+|-]
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[assman] if you wouldnt fuck brad pitt then you're gay
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Quote: 18288; Rating: 265; [+|-]
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<drunkers> is your real name gabe?
<Gabe-33> yes
<drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?
<Gabe-33> no
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Quote: 18303; Rating: -9; [+|-]
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<klogd> http://www.solaristhemovie.com/
<fragglet> is it a horror movie
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Quote: 18316; Rating: 341; [+|-]
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<count^> real life is just something the government invented to steal my money
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Quote: 18317; Rating: 824; [+|-]
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<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence
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Quote: 18334; Rating: 532; [+|-]
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<scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist?
<MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the former does the whole talking bit
<scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve into Psychiatrist?
<Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it?
<Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different university for him to evolve
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Quote: 18335; Rating: 337; [+|-]
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<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all these years, bitch!"?
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Quote: 18337; Rating: 89; [+|-]
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geekgirl [[email protected]] has joined #megatokyo
<TheRiff> "ill never sleep with another woman ive never met before again!"
<geekgirl> Whoops
<Mephisto> O.o
<TheRiff> and then they realize they said woman and meant man, and rethink their whole life
<TheRiff> since she has a mustache, its confusing
<geekgirl> Now that is a weird conversation to come to.
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Quote: 18339; Rating: 498; [+|-]
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* Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark
<Greylark> why me?
<Magellan_> because you started it
<Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary girlfriend
<Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY!
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Quote: 18341; Rating: 207; [+|-]
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<Mr-Ikari> X is being evil on my laptop :(((
<adrian> you have to shake it to clear the screen
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Quote: 18392; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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<XtremeBain> you know you're a hich when
<Fembot> ya can't spell "hick"
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Quote: 18397; Rating: 93; [+|-]
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<Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag
<Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper
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Quote: 18406; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away) and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy
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Quote: 18431; Rating: 848; [+|-]
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<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25"
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Quote: 18437; Rating: 630; [+|-]
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<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson
<Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson..
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Quote: 18446; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
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Quote: 18449; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming
<JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program
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Quote: 18450; Rating: 221; [+|-]
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<carcoal> what's a good car?
<carcoal> truck or sub
<jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal
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Quote: 18451; Rating: 286; [+|-]
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<+shattersp1ne> hey i found out a way to abbreviate army
<+shattersp1ne> rme
<+shattersp1ne> i will make millions off of it
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Quote: 18452; Rating: 151; [+|-]
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<Fembot> weight is like a Mississippi marriage -- purely relative.
<Fembot> mass is constant
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Quote: 18454; Rating: 438; [+|-]
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<Fryth> ah, math jokes
<Fryth> don't drink and derive
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Quote: 18455; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop.
<Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL... there was something appealing about their creed to "never leave their buddy's behind"
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Quote: 18457; Rating: 940; [+|-]
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<Kaltorak> every 7 out of 6 days is a bad day for my typing skils.
<Kaltorak> oh my god.
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Quote: 18459; Rating: 15; [+|-]
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<Calrathan> does it have something to do with Microsoft rerouting the traffic to go through their own version of Carnivore, called Omnivore? [it eats EVERYTHING! bwhahahaha]
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Quote: 18460; Rating: 125; [+|-]
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<Fryth> What is ".net"? Some kind of asp development standard?
<Calrathan> Fryth, distributed computing solution by MS.
<Calrathan> in otherwords... MS can disolve computers around the world with this stuff
<Calrathan> [distributed computing SOLUTION... har har har]
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Quote: 18463; Rating: 943; [+|-]
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<Bender`> When i was little i took a bath with my dad and when he stood up from the tub his penis slapped me across the face
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Quote: 18468; Rating: 52; [+|-]
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<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards <Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover? <FooMashoo> yes
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Quote: 18469; Rating: 163; [+|-]
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<Fembot> Apple is co-branding a cpu line w/ Monty Python. it'll be called the "iFartinyourgeneraldirection"
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Quote: 18474; Rating: 492; [+|-]
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<Fryth> anyone seen the movie pi
<Murdock> I saw it 3.14 times.
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Quote: 18475; Rating: 122; [+|-]
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<\windows\system32\format> /run $me
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Quote: 18477; Rating: 242; [+|-]
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* Zimbu finds Perl funny
<Zimbu> It's the only programming language that forces you to use as many emoticons as possible
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Quote: 18478; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<Mr_sLacKeR> were do i find crosshair files and were do i instal them too?
<Jade-> the internet and your computer
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Quote: 18484; Rating: 117; [+|-]
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<Murdock> r2d2 isnt a robot.. it's a droif
<Murdock> er.. droid
<jitspoe> r2d2 isn't a robot, it's a midget in a tin can!
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Quote: 18486; Rating: 158; [+|-]
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* jitspoe feels fembot... fuzzy
* Fembot shaved
<jitspoe> not there you didn't
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Quote: 18492; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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<Sasquatch> in 20 years schindler's list will be the subject of MST3K
<Sasquatch> <Crow> He's Makin a list, and checkin' it twice. <TomServo> I don't get it, is he naughty? or nice?
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Quote: 18493; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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<nein> what unix o.s. should i install on a 486 with 7megs ram?
<nein> laptop
<A-KO> Trashcan with kernel I.7.5u-ck.5
<A-KO> :)
<nein> is that a free download?
<nein> heheh
<nein> will it run aol?
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Quote: 18539; Rating: 98; [+|-]
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(jR): unix is weak.. I prefer to use Pascal
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Quote: 18616; Rating: 322; [+|-]
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<UBeR> If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
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Quote: 18754; Rating: 1169; [+|-]
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<Tac0> FiZi
<Tac0> are u connected to the internet?
<FiZi2> What the fuck do you think
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Quote: 18757; Rating: 99; [+|-]
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<Ice_raven> um has anyone tried BearShare
<slash> it sounded a bit too faggotilicious for me
<Ice_raven> it is
<slash> okay, that's good.
<slash> no false advertising there!
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Quote: 18845; Rating: 182; [+|-]
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<ToXiC> i bet in < 2 years, when someone get's pulled over by the police, they will hear "Can I please have your MSN Passport"
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Quote: 18887; Rating: 145; [+|-]
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<Chikster>Does anyone know if I can DL a complete version of photoshop on the net?
<Gary> They have photoshop on Pcs...
<Chikster> God why do newbies all try an help me..
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Quote: 18909; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<jade> don't become one of them
<jade> geeks = evil
<jade> except as sex slaves.
*** jade was kicked by Pita (be nice to geeks. They make IRC possible.)
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Quote: 19038; Rating: 141; [+|-]
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<Amira_nu> hey nothing wrong with loving G-d both ways
<Melech> loving god both ways sounds rather kinky
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