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Quote: 18160; Rating: 311; [+|-]
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<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
<thammy> haha
<thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke |
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Quote: 18161; Rating: 165; [+|-]
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<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?) |
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Quote: 18162; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> :u00a0 taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!!
PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that on my front website |
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Quote: 18164; Rating: 681; [+|-]
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<LaBOMBa> I forfeited a wrestling match to this dude becuase his name was Dick Harden |
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Quote: 18174; Rating: 108; [+|-]
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<netmunky> i just ate
<orange1> he says as he returns from the bathroom |
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Quote: 18202; Rating: 92; [+|-]
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<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge |
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Quote: 18208; Rating: 239; [+|-]
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<runedx2> the other day... my cat was in my lap.. and i was petting it. but then i realized there wasn't a cat in my lap. :( |
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Quote: 18220; Rating: 38; [+|-]
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<jesus_> my healing hands be drivin tha virgins wild. |
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Quote: 18223; Rating: 569; [+|-]
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<PowrSlave> Ah yes, everything I know I learned from Grand Theft Auto 3. For example, if I need a ride across town and there's a squad car nearby, I just punch the nearest old lady. When the cops get out of their vehicle to fight me, I steal the car. That gets me Warning Level 1, but all I have to do is hide in an alleyway for 30 seconds and the cops will forget all about me. Great learning tool. |
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Quote: 18230; Rating: 329; [+|-]
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<ZondrZout> Dammit, something is coming out of my ass!
<ZondrZout> brb |
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Quote: 18231; Rating: 32; [+|-]
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<Wolf_> Oh shit, just realized i tasted my sperm during masturbation ! :D
<CZ> Sick, how the hell did you managed do that ?
<Wolf_> Well, uh, the pressure was so high... |
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Quote: 18234; Rating: 87; [+|-]
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<C-rEs:#slackware> isnt it recommended to keep ports apart? like you dont want to use port 1035 and 1036 at the same time? |
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Quote: 18236; Rating: 31; [+|-]
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<Sniperwolf> Im intending to whip you with meh cat5 if you dont shut up! |
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Quote: 18237; Rating: 274; [+|-]
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<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me. I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please! |
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Quote: 18253; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got?
<drunkers> i wash dishes
<[Piratez]> at a resturaunt?
<drunkers> no, at home |
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Quote: 18254; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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<RtWhO> oh shit the shower hurt me......I got in turned the water on, the water pressure is amazing, well anyways it knocked me down....I hurt my ass bone |
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Quote: 18255; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't fail at it.
<UprightMan>Says Who?
<UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times
<UprightMan>and still mess up
<UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I still sometimes miss the toilet! |
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Quote: 18256; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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<endura> I like to get an idea of how easy itd be to get laid if I walked onto a campus in a gorilla suit with a giant banana as genitalia |
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Quote: 18269; Rating: -222; [+|-]
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<Morphious> in 7 yrs ive hacked 200 people |
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Quote: 18270; Rating: 329; [+|-]
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<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
<BloodNose> to spend a night ...
<Blender13> woah
<BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
<cryptonix> his aunts
<BloodNose> lol
<Blender13> lol
<BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
<Blender13> obviously his aunt
<cryptonix> great aunt
<Blender13> ah
<BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a modeling job
<cryptonix> hot great aunt
<Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
<BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if it's alright with my aunt still |
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Quote: 18271; Rating: 370; [+|-]
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<Shrapnull> It's not how the boat floats, or the size of the mast, but the motion of the ocean
<Aduro> lol
<Tiffy> haha
<cryptonix> just hope your seamen don't have scurvey :D |
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Quote: 18274; Rating: 755; [+|-]
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<Storm> Ah shit theres a fire in the dorms
<Storm> Guess I should leave, brb
<Zekk> Hhmm.... that sucks
<Storm> Whew, it got put out
<Zekk> Everything OK?
<Storm> Yea, we are thinking about starting another one to get all the chicks out there in their underwear againu00a0 =P |
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Quote: 18286; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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[assman] if you wouldnt fuck brad pitt then you're gay |
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Quote: 18288; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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<drunkers> is your real name gabe?
<Gabe-33> yes
<drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?
<Gabe-33> no |
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Quote: 18303; Rating: 6; [+|-]
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<klogd> http://www.solaristhemovie.com/
<fragglet> is it a horror movie |
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Quote: 18316; Rating: 375; [+|-]
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<count^> real life is just something the government invented to steal my money |
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Quote: 18317; Rating: 886; [+|-]
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<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence |
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Quote: 18334; Rating: 571; [+|-]
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<scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist?
<MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the former does the whole talking bit
<scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve into Psychiatrist?
<Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it?
<Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different university for him to evolve |
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Quote: 18335; Rating: 369; [+|-]
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<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all these years, bitch!"? |
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Quote: 18337; Rating: 138; [+|-]
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geekgirl [[email protected]] has joined #megatokyo
<TheRiff> "ill never sleep with another woman ive never met before again!"
<geekgirl> Whoops
<Mephisto> O.o
<TheRiff> and then they realize they said woman and meant man, and rethink their whole life
<TheRiff> since she has a mustache, its confusing
<geekgirl> Now that is a weird conversation to come to. |
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Quote: 18339; Rating: 533; [+|-]
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* Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark
<Greylark> why me?
<Magellan_> because you started it
<Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary girlfriend
<Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY! |
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Quote: 18341; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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<Mr-Ikari> X is being evil on my laptop :(((
<adrian> you have to shake it to clear the screen |
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Quote: 18392; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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<XtremeBain> you know you're a hich when
<Fembot> ya can't spell "hick" |
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Quote: 18397; Rating: 127; [+|-]
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<Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag
<Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper |
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Quote: 18406; Rating: 421; [+|-]
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<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away) and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy |
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Quote: 18431; Rating: 880; [+|-]
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<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25" |
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Quote: 18437; Rating: 651; [+|-]
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<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson
<Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson.. |
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Quote: 18446; Rating: 257; [+|-]
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<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet |
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Quote: 18449; Rating: 249; [+|-]
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<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming
<JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program |
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Quote: 18450; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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<carcoal> what's a good car?
<carcoal> truck or sub
<jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal |
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Quote: 18451; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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<+shattersp1ne> hey i found out a way to abbreviate army
<+shattersp1ne> rme
<+shattersp1ne> i will make millions off of it |
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Quote: 18452; Rating: 187; [+|-]
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<Fembot> weight is like a Mississippi marriage -- purely relative.
<Fembot> mass is constant |
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Quote: 18454; Rating: 480; [+|-]
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<Fryth> ah, math jokes
<Fryth> don't drink and derive |
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Quote: 18455; Rating: 276; [+|-]
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<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop.
<Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL... there was something appealing about their creed to "never leave their buddy's behind" |
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Quote: 18457; Rating: 967; [+|-]
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<Kaltorak> every 7 out of 6 days is a bad day for my typing skils.
<Kaltorak> oh my god. |
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Quote: 18459; Rating: 35; [+|-]
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<Calrathan> does it have something to do with Microsoft rerouting the traffic to go through their own version of Carnivore, called Omnivore? [it eats EVERYTHING! bwhahahaha] |
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Quote: 18460; Rating: 152; [+|-]
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<Fryth> What is ".net"? Some kind of asp development standard?
<Calrathan> Fryth, distributed computing solution by MS.
<Calrathan> in otherwords... MS can disolve computers around the world with this stuff
<Calrathan> [distributed computing SOLUTION... har har har] |
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Quote: 18463; Rating: 983; [+|-]
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<Bender`> When i was little i took a bath with my dad and when he stood up from the tub his penis slapped me across the face |
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Quote: 18468; Rating: 94; [+|-]
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<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards <Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover? <FooMashoo> yes |
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Quote: 18469; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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<Fembot> Apple is co-branding a cpu line w/ Monty Python. it'll be called the "iFartinyourgeneraldirection" |
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