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Quote: 16637; Rating: 67; [+|-]
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<agnarth> what'd u do to mort?
<JeSuS> somebody packeted him
<JeSuS> some guy we've never met before
<agnarth> heh
<JeSuS> he floated down, like an angel from the sky, and smited mort with his oc12 ;(
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Quote: 16643; Rating: -7; [+|-]
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<himem> I love my cat's tight vagina
<Cows[Pwnage]> :P
<himem> Would you stick out your tongue in real life? No, you wouldn't. Then ":P" is pretty stupid.
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Quote: 16652; Rating: 874; [+|-]
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<DmDragon> all my cars are haunted
<DmDragon> i had one car where the glove compartment would keep opening at random times
<DmDragon> so it opened once and i just finally said "fuck you stay open" well the car stalled out the radio turned on and off and the flashlights started flashing while the windshield wipers started
<DmDragon> so i slowly reached over and closed it.. then the car just went back to normal
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Quote: 16654; Rating: 100; [+|-]
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<FishNetGirl> guess what I haveeee....
<KrackWhores> mountain dew?
<FishNetGirl> mmhm, yup.
<KrackWhores> well guess what I have
<FishNetGirl> mountain dew?
<KrackWhores> no
<KrackWhores> a penis
<FishNetGirl> i know
<FishNetGirl> er...
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Quote: 16655; Rating: 248; [+|-]
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<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.
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Quote: 16657; Rating: 351; [+|-]
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<@drew> saceist is a kind of person who always has that dumb look on his face.
<@saceist> huh?
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Quote: 16664; Rating: 39; [+|-]
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<Puck> Damnit, I'm tired.
<DeathCrow> You just woke up.
<Puck> I only had an hour nap!
<DeathCrow> No, I'm saying that's why you're tired.
<Puck> Well, that explains it.
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Quote: 16665; Rating: 490; [+|-]
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<@drew> my uterus is bleeding
<@cognac> drew, you don't have a uterus
<@drew> oh
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Quote: 16676; Rating: 1260; [+|-]
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Stinkysteven67: I love married with children. Its a great show.
Lucy17: It's ok, One thing that bugs me about that show,
In the pilot series they had Al bundy sounding like he was from Brooklyn
or something when they are supposed to be from Chicago.
Stinkysteven67: Where do you think brooklyn is dork?
Lucky17: Its in new york goofball, chicago is in illinios.
Stinkysteven67: Oh sorry, I've never been good at geometry.
Lucy17: Umm yea..
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Quote: 16678; Rating: 324; [+|-]
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<extrasupreme> This one time, i scored this chick at the pub...in the TOILETS !
<dunnakin> no you didnt you lying fuckhead
<extrasupreme> ok, i made it up
<extrasupreme> damn.
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Quote: 16681; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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<packrat> HELP
<defected> Looks like it.
<packrat> stfu ur just a lamerz newbie i m an expert................
* defected waits for the lame question.
<packrat> k now how do i make hacker toolz wih irc
<packrat> plz
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Quote: 16682; Rating: 1636; [+|-]
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*** UndErX has joined #help
<UndErX> sup lamer newbies
<UndErX> answer this if u r not newbiez:
<FiEsTy-> well, ask
<UndErX> no newbie lamer
<UndErX> lamerz
<FiEsTy-> hey please dont type /quit fiesty- because it makes me quit IRC.. please
*** Quits: UndErX (Quit: fiesty-)
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Quote: 16689; Rating: 62; [+|-]
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<destiny> storeobject(mydick,"madbombers\\ass");
<Woohoo> :)
<madbomber> w00t
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Quote: 16692; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<JCDenton> i wasn't flooding............
<JCDenton> i was sharing
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Quote: 16693; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: holy crap, my mom is online!!
citygirl30_56308: lmao
cherbare36: lol
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: ok...she didnt say hi to me..
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: poor mom, she gets so lost when you hand her a keyboard and a mouse
soooopafox: LoL my grammy is so adorable with the puter.
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: now when you hand my mom a remote, a phone and a credit card, she goes to town...
soooopafox: LoL @ QVC
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Quote: 16698; Rating: 541; [+|-]
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*** marily-manson was kicked by Satan (amature)
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Quote: 16702; Rating: 34; [+|-]
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<azrael69> wtf did i really start typing Oasis lyrics AGAIN?! i gotta cut back on the intoxicants
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Quote: 16707; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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*** Quits: nanm (Quit: Unable to join #real_life (You're banned))
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Quote: 16708; Rating: 490; [+|-]
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<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf
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Quote: 16712; Rating: 826; [+|-]
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<Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
<Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that people're
<Deke> coming over
<Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
<Deke> most people find coins
<Deke> we find disk drives
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Quote: 16713; Rating: -6; [+|-]
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<Valenthios> When we RPed that little convo with her and Gygus, I said "She seems to be quite beautiful, even though she's human." He says "Bitches is bitches."
<Gygus> Heeheeheeheee.....
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Quote: 16714; Rating: 69; [+|-]
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<Lyme> you know, sometimes, I ponder underwear.
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Quote: 16715; Rating: 288; [+|-]
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<Omega> why do your parents hate you
<Rai> they dont like it that I never come home... I've become somewhat of a drifter of late, till I work things out with airlines/bus
<Rai> I travel to friends houses on my bike, up and down the highway and sleep where I can
<Rai> its fun
<Omega> lol
<Omega> so your a hobo
<Rai> we prefer to be called "domestically challenged"
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Quote: 16718; Rating: 275; [+|-]
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<[sPaG]> I USED TO LISTEN TO NSYNC WHEN THEY WERE UNDERGROUND
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Quote: 16719; Rating: 187; [+|-]
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<eugenics/#help> hi, i was going to search for how to cook an omlette online.. but i dont know how to spell it
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Quote: 16722; Rating: 220; [+|-]
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<abashta> I agree with you, bombing afghanistan to eradicate terrorists is like bombing the ghetto to get rid of the drug dealers
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Quote: 16725; Rating: 137; [+|-]
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<@assman> api
<@assman> who'd you go to senior prom with
<@icmp> ;/
<@icmp> my hand
<@icmp> :[
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Quote: 16729; Rating: 180; [+|-]
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<Vill> I think anti-cornform has great meaning to an eleiteist
<Gotterdammerung> Vill: learn how to spell :P
<Vill> Gotterdammerung: I did then I fucked up when I learned to type :(
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Quote: 16730; Rating: 1755; [+|-]
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*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'
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Quote: 16734; Rating: 7; [+|-]
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ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now
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Quote: 16737; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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<Joelz> How good is it, when you've badly gotta take a leak....but you can't be stuffed getting up, but there is an empty coke bottle next to you and....nevermind.
<Bigchris> what happens if you have to chuck a shit?
<Joelz> That's what shoes are for.
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Quote: 16744; Rating: 19; [+|-]
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<Joelz> im gonna savet hgis log so I can prove im drunk
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Quote: 16747; Rating: 125; [+|-]
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<whistler> I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
<whistler> I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
<whistler> BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS
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Quote: 16749; Rating: 749; [+|-]
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<Phillip`> i just had starbucks coffee
<K_Russell> join #someonewhocares :(
<Phillip`> no one is there :(
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Quote: 16750; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course"
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Quote: 16752; Rating: 130; [+|-]
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<@whistler> i just tried to change my pants
<@whistler> and put them on backwards
<@whistler> and didnt realize till i went to take a shit
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Quote: 16754; Rating: 333; [+|-]
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<@whistler> on the down side i no longer have a phone
<@whistler> on the up side i have a brand new bong
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Quote: 16756; Rating: 170; [+|-]
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<Genocide7> Happy B-day Ass.
<FT|Vass>Thanks Geno! :)
<FT|Vass> Hey! Wait a sec...
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|
Quote: 16757; Rating: 591; [+|-]
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{Sexican} oh I heard some legends about a world where you could get a gf and stuff.
{[12Lurk} its a place where women put out
{SoCK} url?
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Quote: 16758; Rating: 656; [+|-]
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{Plag} i liked women at 13
{Plag} even 11
{Pest} i liked woman since third grade
{Beat-Boy} ive liked men since i saw your sister
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Quote: 16760; Rating: 896; [+|-]
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<theTrick> Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties
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Quote: 16763; Rating: -17; [+|-]
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* +ETP checks his sweet, sweet ass, for human hands
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Quote: 16764; Rating: 85; [+|-]
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* ETP runs away like a one legged trialathete in the special olympics of your mind
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Quote: 16765; Rating: 25; [+|-]
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<Demented1> stupid Gonzaga...just unpacked my "Cinderella My Ass" Tshirt
|
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Quote: 16766; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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<Grim13> Mariah Carey's cleavage got nominated for "Worst onscreen couple"
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Quote: 16767; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<cloud_171> u can't learn lots of stuff by reading
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Quote: 16771; Rating: 9; [+|-]
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{ExDeath} If I had a baby like Shiv, I'd shove it back in and put stitches in my wife's vagina ;(
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Quote: 16772; Rating: -43; [+|-]
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{Trevy} Canadians don't hate the U.S. {Ertai} canadians are too simple for such a complex emotion
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Quote: 16773; Rating: 12; [+|-]
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<loser> http://www.goatse.cx
<loser> hahaha lol lol lol
<loser> you looked didn't you? HAHAHAHA
<bane> who gave you your name? your mom?
<bane> whoeva gave it to you, congratulate them for me will you?
<bane> it's appropiate
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Quote: 16776; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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<Pepsi> A Smith and Wesson beats four Aces.
<Tjousk> only if it's loaded
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