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Quote: 147498; Rating: 277; [+|-]
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<mungbean> using VB is like masturbating with a cheese grater.
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Quote: 147503; Rating: 558; [+|-]
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<Lisy-lis> ..am I a geek for trying to make the top quotes on bash have exactly 1337 votes?
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Quote: 147507; Rating: 491; [+|-]
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<CF> MMORPG players are freaks.
<CF> If I ever have kids, and I catch them doing anything with a computer except for normal stuff like porn and hacking into school to change their grades, I will beat their asses like a red headed step child.
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Quote: 147509; Rating: 389; [+|-]
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<Trippin^Chick> it wouldnt hurt to talk u know
<Trippin^Chick> i know coz i talk all the time
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
* Trippin^Chick shrugs
<Trippin^Chick> can i lie?
<Hash_Pipe> im a cop you idiot
<Trippin^Chick> cool
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> Hash_Pipe...has any1 ever had the heart to tell u that ur boring?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Trippin^Chick> who was whining?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Hash_Pipe> i hope you leave enough room for my fist because im going to ram it into your stomach
<Trippin^Chick> ur not a very nice person r u Hash?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
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Quote: 147512; Rating: 306; [+|-]
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<Wario> can't sleep. clowns will eat me
<Kyle> Instead of sleeping..
<Kyle> Scan your boobies. :D
<Trunks> Yeah.
<Trunks> That works.
<Trunks> That'd be funny if her parents walked in.
<Trunks> Tits on the scanner.
<Kyle> "Hmm. This is awkward."
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Quote: 147519; Rating: 54; [+|-]
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<Jaron> I DONT WANT TO INSTALL WINAMP!!
<Jaron> its bloated, it takes over all my files, and crashes all the time
<Jaron> If i wanted that, i'd just use Media Player
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Quote: 147532; Rating: 168; [+|-]
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* demo20b has joined #odoru
<timeless> stfu
* demo20b has quit IRC (Exit: if you stand at the top of a very tall building, do u eva feel like jumping off?)
<timeless> omg
<timeless> thats all i takes to get rid of him??
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Quote: 147543; Rating: 34; [+|-]
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<pies> stop teh flaming !
<grandja> hahah! I hear you man!
<pcverden> Grandja I told u not to listen to those voices in your head. THEY ARE NOT THERE!!!!!
<cantona> No point saying that! He just thinks you are another one!
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Quote: 147549; Rating: 618; [+|-]
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<klafka> Penis-enlargement pills contain a less-than-sexy dose of bacteria and other contaminants
<Tecato> What's some contaminants when it comes to a bigger penis?
<klafka> what if your penis turns green?
<Tecato> Will it be big?
<klafka> monstrous
<Tecato> Then you could name it Hulk.
<Tecato> And before you have sex you could scream "HULK SMASH!"
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Quote: 147563; Rating: 1; [+|-]
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<WI-RaZ0r> ok fuck u bitch
<ArmedFred> The only thing insulting about that sentence was the terrible spelling
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Quote: 147575; Rating: 573; [+|-]
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<jd> i'm hung like planet pluto
<drew> hard to see with the naked eye?
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Quote: 147599; Rating: 405; [+|-]
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<Karnaugh> if sex is shitty, you're doing it wrong
<BinX> Or you're doing anal.
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Quote: 147615; Rating: 1252; [+|-]
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<Zax`away> BUT WHAT DOES GOD DO WHEN A KITTEN MASTURBATES!?
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Quote: 147732; Rating: 815; [+|-]
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<Nekroe> when any of yous were at high school, did any idiots ever knee you in the arse, and go: 'YOUVE JUST BEEN BOOFED UP THE ARSE BY AN ELEPHANT!'?
<than> when I was at high school, some elephants came up behind me and stuck their dicks in my ass and said "YOU'VE JUST BEEN KNEE'D IN THE ARSE BY A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!"
<Nekroe> mmm. clever
<than> I didn't think it was clever. I thought it was a bit juvenile. Those elephants should have known better
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Quote: 147757; Rating: 1415; [+|-]
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<Queued-W> Of course, there are already puzzles without pictures on the front
<Minstrel> Queued: you have to turn the pieces over
<Queued-W> I'll be damned, it's a kitten
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Quote: 147771; Rating: 493; [+|-]
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<Laemtao> Girls are like Wolfenstein 3D.
<Shatai> How so?
<Laemtao> If you get far enough, you have to fight Hitler himself.
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Quote: 148098; Rating: 591; [+|-]
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<timovgod> I was in a rape awarness class once, well... my picture was.
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Quote: 148121; Rating: 1317; [+|-]
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<Soybomb> On the way home yesterday, I saw a car with a vanity plate that read: LINUX OS
<Soybomb> I really wished for a truck with a WINDOWS plate to ram it...sadly, no.
<Druuna> unfortunately, you'd probably crash before hitting it...
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Quote: 148790; Rating: 690; [+|-]
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<@grim^> one time
<@grim^> I had my dick in this girl
<@grim^> and it was nice
<@jonoblows> and then the doctor pulled you all the way out, right?
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Quote: 148851; Rating: 760; [+|-]
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<november7> 100 pts
<`red> in canada we get 200 pts for running over americans.
<november7> yea but over here your points arent worth shit
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Quote: 148914; Rating: 1019; [+|-]
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<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh
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Quote: 149087; Rating: 354; [+|-]
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<Bubbaprog> you know nothing of men :-)
<Calisa> I know that it's not appropriate to masturbate when you're in the same room as your daughter, thinking it's okay because you think she's asleep.
<Calisa> I know something!
<Calisa> He stopped every now and then when he heard my sister shifting.
<asshat> thats good parenting
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Quote: 149134; Rating: 333; [+|-]
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<xcham> as part of my CS experience, I'm going to debug java to try and meet geek chicks. :P
<xcham> then I'll e-mail Sun Microsystems and tell them "JAVA GOT ME LAID"
<jimmiejaz> java and chicks only go together at starbucks.
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Quote: 149189; Rating: 548; [+|-]
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<Shikamaru> anyhow, i don't consider myself asian. i'm white, but god screwed up my texturemap.
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Quote: 149234; Rating: 530; [+|-]
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(+|STE|) Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
(+|STE|) The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
(+|STE|) Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
(+|STE|) The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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Quote: 149402; Rating: 343; [+|-]
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<rezza> wow this 2.6 linux kernel is a big improvement on the 2.4 series... i can do all sorts of crap at the same time with no slowdown...
<mojomonkee> while you're compiling programs and updating dependencies at blazing speeds
<mojomonkee> i'm actually doing things
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Quote: 149419; Rating: 194; [+|-]
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<fly> i need a life out side of sex
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> funny
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> most people want it the other way around
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Quote: 149643; Rating: 514; [+|-]
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<dayve> i was pissing in a toilet tonight at the movies.. in the cubicle bit
<dayve> then i look at the wall and see some guy has tagged the letters BBS
<dayve> then i caught myself thinking "fuck.. i'd better hurry up"
<evlisisdead> you fucking nerd
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Quote: 149650; Rating: 1649; [+|-]
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[ Skip ] my mum told me she deleted "that program that you have obscene conversations on"
[ Skip ] i came on and irc was still here
[ Skip ] yet my winamp is gone :S
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Quote: 149692; Rating: 560; [+|-]
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<TossMonkey> well, people who take a test on the internet to see if they have a personality should already know the answer.
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Quote: 149815; Rating: 786; [+|-]
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[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!
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Quote: 149820; Rating: 465; [+|-]
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<Ed> alright
<Ed> the world is completely fucked
<Ed> my neighbour has a "No visitors except by prior arrangement" sign
<Ed> thing is, I just found out that the bastard's a Jehova's Witness
<Ed> I wonder if a "No thanks, I'm a Protestant" would work any on my door
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Quote: 149865; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<tritt> strange... i just logged into my box and I'm pretty sure i used tab completion on my password o_O
<Yot> you and your ultra-secure linux ways
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Quote: 149900; Rating: 518; [+|-]
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<gilm0re> I wanna make a movie called "I Rock Your Mom" and make it a story about a child who has to triumph over constipation and an erectile disfunction.
<TJ32> ahh.. an autobiography
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Quote: 149939; Rating: 726; [+|-]
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<Algorithms> I just threw a squirrel carcass in a cardboard box and installed NetBSD on it.
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Quote: 149962; Rating: 780; [+|-]
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themack: just played the saxophone for 15 minutes and my lips are already sore
ScooterX: themack: Try playing it from the small end next time!
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Quote: 150012; Rating: 705; [+|-]
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Guillaume: So you wnna bough me a dictionnary huh ?
Gila-Monster: lol Yep. An english one.
Guillaume: Nha nonsense I completely masterize the english language.
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Quote: 150015; Rating: 1011; [+|-]
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obsession: santa.. he's pretty lucky.. cuz he knows where all the naughty girls are at...
obsession: that's why he's so jolly u see?
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Quote: 150020; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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Sorcerer: I mean shit, that one time I got banned, my dog came on and pissed everybody off on the RPGC boards while I was in the shower! I swear! Honest!
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Quote: 150031; Rating: 988; [+|-]
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<dreamwraith> I am going to create a Nicotine Golem. I will call him son and he will call me father and we will bond. At night, I will lick him.
<dreamwraith> I WANT A CIGARETTE. That is all.
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Quote: 150273; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<mjg> DrP, how the hell are you
<DrPoole> I am a slave to the money my friend.
<DrPoole> I am the nine, to, fiver
<mjg> I'm a 7 to sixer
<DrPoole> Yeah.
<DrPoole> I'm lost in office space world though.
<DrPoole> I get home, and have no interest in my home box.
<mjg> TPS Reports?
<DrPoole> something like that.
<mjg> that reminds me, my coworker still has my copy of Office Space
<DrPoole> I pretty much sit at the tv, or I go to the bar with friends at night.
<mjg> go to the bar. wish i had that time. you liking the work?
<DrPoole> Yeah, but...my place is weird.
<DrPoole> it's like....there's so little to actually DO...
<DrPoole> but...there's a lot that needs to get done
<DrPoole> but...only one guy really knows what those items are.
<DrPoole> so, the only way to get a project
<DrPoole> is to show interest in it, and to fire off ideas to him, or...in other words...bother him until he gives you something todotofillthevoidOFTHEMOTHERFUCKINGWORKDAY!!!!
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Quote: 150311; Rating: 1217; [+|-]
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Ramladu X: They should make porn legal.
annoying hamster: Wait, it isn't?
Ramladu X: Not the kind I like.
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Quote: 150344; Rating: 666; [+|-]
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[idarwin] I just spent like 45 minutes debugging this c++ code and delete whole chunks of it to track down this problem
[idarwin] and it was all because I forgot a break;
<@Avalanche> i found out why my mouse stopped working
<@Avalanche> turns out, it was my cell phone
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Quote: 150374; Rating: -543; [+|-]
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<pork> GAS THE JEWS
<Kristy> thats horrible
<Kosta> See Kristy, you just misspelled "honorable" again
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Quote: 150543; Rating: 647; [+|-]
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<Picco|0z> {[io_sreep]} Can you explain what RAID is to me?
<halcy0n> isn't it two harddrives where one holds all the 1's and the other holds all the 0's?
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Quote: 150583; Rating: 904; [+|-]
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<EK> Quentin Tarinto on the use of CGI in movies "'You know, my guys are all real. There's no computer fucking around. I'm sick to death of all that shit. This is old school with fucking cameras. If i'd wanted all that computer game bullshit, I'd have gone home and stuck my dick in my Nintendo."
<Nikaji> o_O
<Chaosmeika> nintendo has a penis port?
<EK> I wish.
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Quote: 150598; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<pagan> i moved out of necesity
<griffin> neccessity is the mother of invention
<Bard^> griffin who is the father of invention
<griffin> opression
<Bard^> why do you say opression
<griffin> because he fucked neccessity
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Quote: 150655; Rating: 763; [+|-]
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<cvd> fscking Cisco 3.0 material is in Engrish or some shit
<cvd> It's hard to study shit when they can't even write a complete sentence
<Macolio> super happy 100% network failure occurance!
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Quote: 150983; Rating: 523; [+|-]
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<auenf> boss: 'why is my computer taking so fucking long'
<auenf> me: 'its a Pentium 166'
<auenf> boss: 'since when has this computer been a fucking pentium 166'
<auenf> me: 'since about 1996'
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Quote: 151071; Rating: 941; [+|-]
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[+Matt] Problem is, Cube fans are angered because they think everyone thinks Nintendo make kids game
[+Matt] And Xbox fans are angered because they think that everyone thinks the Xbox is a brick
[%Crok] nintendo and microsoft should work together to make lego
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