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Quote: 128584; Rating: 938; [+|-]
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<[Ci]XeneX> Hahahahaha.
<[Ci]XeneX> I forgot my password for my Barrysworld Subscriber Private FTP access, and it says I have to answer the secret question..
<Lenin> What's the secret question?
<[Ci]XeneX> Password Reminder Question: What is my password for this site?
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Quote: 128674; Rating: 693; [+|-]
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<Ten> My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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Quote: 128823; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<R36613> how is everyone tonight? Aside from being dead of course
<Zealot-X> Yep, aside from that, I'm just peachy.
<R36613> lol
<Zealot-X> A little stiff, from rigor mortis and all.
<R36613> O.o
<Zealot-X> Erm wait.. that came out wrong..
<Calren> I'm hungry and needy and want Freelancer to let me blow up a freaking starbase
<Olanis> mmm rigor mortis
<R36613> don't try to type too fast your fingers will fall off
<R36613> they'll go snap crackle and pop
<Zealot-X> Yeah.. better not accidentally look at porn.. something else may fall off.
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Quote: 129539; Rating: 154; [+|-]
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<UGA|CE|UaH> STOP CLALING ME BY TAG
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Quote: 130442; Rating: 687; [+|-]
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<cruunch> i dont believe this
<cruunch> im tryin to phone sex this girl, the one i didnt go to poker night with cause im poor
<cruunch> and i heard her roomate ask her who she was talkin too
<cruunch> and she said
<cruunch> 'tripod'
<cruunch> i fucking kid you not
<cruunch> ego++
<Sean-> dude
<Sean-> just, no
<Biny> no!
<cruunch> ohhhh yaaaa!
<cruunch> hehe
<CeNo65> did you tell her thats not your name .. its just the website that hosts your pics?
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Quote: 130643; Rating: 326; [+|-]
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AyaMonhu: http://women.kde.org/
AyaMonhu: :D
roovis: wtf?!
roovis: oh SHEESH
AyaMonhu: LOL
roovis: kde for women.
roovis: is it strong enough for a man but php balanced for a woman?
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Quote: 131201; Rating: -15; [+|-]
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<Zibro> geez
<Zibro> these posters are dumb
<Zibro> it's all just cars
<Zibro> and women
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Quote: 131553; Rating: 2255; [+|-]
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<Cross> Oh, wow. Old school papers.
<Cross> This one was on 'alternative energy sources'. This is from near the end, when I was really too tired to be writing:
<Cross> "Wind energy is a method of collecting power from the blowing of the wind. Not only is this a clean and renewable energy source, but it can actually displace excess Carbon Dioxide in an area. Problems behind wind energy also exist. It is not available in many areas, and requires a lot of money to build. The
wind turbines can also interfere with television and radio signals and cause noise pollution. Also, birds can fly into the rotors."
<Cross> "Then they have to send the janitor Steve out to clean the thing, and it just ruins his day. Then he goes home and beats his kids. So if you support wind energy, you support domestic violence."
<Cross> That's when you know you're tired.
<Herring> That is awesome.
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Quote: 131568; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<lagmagnet> I forgot I downloaded the best of the 70s disco
* lagmagnet burns out to cd to listen on the train tomorrow
<BBQ_69> "best of 70s disco" dude, you got ripped.. there is no such thing!
<lagmagnet> hah fuck off :) 70s disco rocks :)
<BBQ_69> yeah, but then you run out of cocaine
<lagmagnet> true
<lagmagnet> :(
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Quote: 131727; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<indigo> redhat has become a thing of its own, apart from linux
<indigo> it's the entropy of linux combined with the uselessness of a corporate product
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Quote: 131775; Rating: -101; [+|-]
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<eps> i never thought i would jack off to richard simons
<denver> jesus
<denver> you jack off to richard simons?
<Ch0p> thats sick...
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Quote: 131975; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
<DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything
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Quote: 132770; Rating: 234; [+|-]
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<jomamaugly14> i cant get on irc!@!!!
<jomamaugly14> im banned
<Xenon> you *are* on irc !!!
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Quote: 133750; Rating: 411; [+|-]
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<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to control the actions of mortals?
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Quote: 133771; Rating: 637; [+|-]
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<EL3CTRO> 1 for me, 2 for bob
* EL3CTRO pours beer into his computer case
* EL3CTRO hears a bang
* EL3CTRO ([email protected]) Quit (Killed (Zaphod (Connection reset by beer)))
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Quote: 134499; Rating: 470; [+|-]
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(@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
(@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
(@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about that
(@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the switch ?
(+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch with my linux box
(@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the windows machine you are on now ?
(+Andross): yeah
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Quote: 134503; Rating: 239; [+|-]
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(Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of the world is here?
(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs off their leashes again at the blind school
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Quote: 134558; Rating: 310; [+|-]
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<Fr0d0> Just imagin what wars would be like if instead of battle hardend soldiers, they used nerds and geeks.
<H4ndalfTehGh3y> "D00d! j00 sh0tz0r m333!11!11 Wut r u?!?!? 4 FFFFAAAAGGG?!!!?!"
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Quote: 134607; Rating: 241; [+|-]
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<VashTS> im going to make a pop up that provides for them all, " DO YOU NEED CREDIT , OR A LARGE PENIS , OR BIGGER BUST SIZE , OR A LOAN ,,, WELL THEN CLICK THIS LINK TO BRING UP 900 MORE POP UPS AND FORMS TO FILL OUT WHICH WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING CUS YOU HAVE NO MONEY , A SMALL PENIS , NO BOOBS , AND NO ONE IN THERE
RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE YOU MONEY , OR DATE YOU , OR ANYTHING , CUS YOUR A NERD , A FUCKIN COMPUTER NERD , SO IGNORE THIS AND CLICK THE X"
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Quote: 134610; Rating: 303; [+|-]
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<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_-
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Quote: 134835; Rating: 1137; [+|-]
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<@maddox> hehe.. man, Norton Antivirus sucks. All it does it bog everything down, I clicked on the "optimize my computer" setting and it just uninstalled itself.
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Quote: 134858; Rating: 112; [+|-]
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(Zaphod): now, would you like knee pads for that, or are you going bare back ?
(Matthew): doesnt matter, its only irc
(Matthew): so you choose
(Zaphod): Matthew - whatever you like, as long as you wear pretty red lipstick, its all good with me
(Matthew): k, but let me get my tweasers and magnifying glass
(Zaphod): you wanking yourself at the same time huh ?
(Zaphod): kinky
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Quote: 135909; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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<cdk> the computer admin at the office is just the kinda LINUX 0wnZ WIND0wZ nazi
<cdk> and he's goddamn paranoid
<cdk> and he smells
<@noosie> most linux guru's smell
<@noosie> linux before personal hygiene... that's their moto
<cdk> do most linux guru's whistle and make awful jokes and hysterically laugh at their OWN jokes?
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Quote: 136144; Rating: 432; [+|-]
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<Dain-EvenDumber> I have a theory
<Dain-EvenDumber> A theory that the current Prime Minister of Canada is the smartest man on the planet
<Dain-EvenDumber> And his brilliant ideas would have ushered Canada into a new age of prosperity and power, overcoming even the United States...
<Dain-EvenDumber> if only people could understand what he was saying
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Quote: 136322; Rating: 226; [+|-]
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<Treen> Damnit, why on earth are they making Max Payne 2 a fricking LOVE STORY?
<Mithrandir> because love is cool
<Exspes> Because everything has to have a love story in it
<Exspes> Lord of the Rings was about Sam and Frodo
<Treen> <_<
* Dr_Nick smacks Ex
<Exspes> Smoochies.
<Exspes> The Hobbit was about Bilbo and that dwarf king
<Exspes> It'd be cool to be able to jump into books
<Treen> ...
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Quote: 136332; Rating: 235; [+|-]
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<Cthulhuberries> the only tests I get right are pregnancy tests :P
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Quote: 136343; Rating: 131; [+|-]
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<+OwnzYa> work?
<+OwnzYa> whats that?
<@Wapwap> That explains why you are so fat
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Quote: 136344; Rating: 21; [+|-]
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onkeybutt87: what are you up to?
UpDogWkeBoarder: just chatin, i might have pancacks for dinner
onkeybutt87: that sentence makes me sad
onkeybutt87: a pancack?
UpDogWkeBoarder: lol
UpDogWkeBoarder: i'm typing to like three people
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's a lot for me
onkeybutt87: trust me, it's a lot for us too
UpDogWkeBoarder: hahaha
UpDogWkeBoarder: you type fast
UpDogWkeBoarder: i don't
onkeybutt87: yeah, I also type well
UpDogWkeBoarder: yeah
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's trure
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Quote: 136351; Rating: 23; [+|-]
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<S1> i'm royally pissed off
<S1> i was giving my grandmother a ride into town so she could pick up her car
<S1> as i went through an intersection
<S1> a car making a right turn decided she diddn't want to go into the right lane wich was clear
<S1> nooooooooo she had to jump RIGHT in front of me
<S1> I had my 70 year old grand mother in the car
<S1> i almost rear ended the fuck out of an SUV
<S1> it could have easily put my grandmother in the hospital
<S1> bitch is lucky didn't rip her lungs out through her ass
<A1> you were going to rip your grandmothers lungs out through her ass?
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Quote: 136355; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<mReD> wtf happend to that blaster virus
<mReD> did microsoft get attacked
<]Oxygen[> they pointed www.windowsupdate.com somewhere else
<]Oxygen[> what they should have done is point it at apple.com
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Quote: 136360; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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<Ron> Not all those tricks are that amazing.
<Lance> Hey, if a dog can get a server up in Korea before it gets eaten, I'd give that a 9.
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Quote: 136365; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<+Jenda_away> javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');
<@contagious> Not sure that link is gunna werk;]
<+Jenda_away> www.javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');.com
<@contagious> lol
<@contagious> That one either
<+Jenda_away> hmm
<+Jenda_away> fuck you
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Quote: 136366; Rating: 964; [+|-]
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<KoKaiNo> i just got pwnd what does that mean?
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Quote: 136376; Rating: 359; [+|-]
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<Blade> Too bad your ex wasn't there.
<Sonsquidku_V> She was in f*cking San Diego. Can you believe that?
<Sonsquidku_V> There's like nothing there. It's mexican canada.
<Blade> Seriously, it's like LA took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And then that crap took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And picked through the crap to find a land mine.
<Sonsquidku_V> And threw it at my mom.
<Blade> XD
<Sonsquidku_V> Who fell down the stairs.
<Sonsquidku_V> And into a hole which led to China.
<Sonsquidku_V> And that's why I haven't seen her for the last 15 years.
<Blade> You have some issues, Dan.
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Quote: 136377; Rating: 381; [+|-]
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[+Freeder] The Angry Dragon
[+Freeder] Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
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Quote: 136392; Rating: 214; [+|-]
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<Misteroo> I'M PART ITALIAN. MAMA MIA, I GUNA YOU DOWN
<Misteroo> YES I WILL! THEN I WILL DRAW A STILL LIFE OF THE SPAGHETTI WHICH I EAT VERY OFTEN
<winterwinstar> draw a bunch of pirahnna plants and green pipes
<Misteroo> WINTER THAT IS OFFENSIVE I LIVED IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM THERE WEREN'T THAT MANY PIPES :{
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Quote: 136428; Rating: 307; [+|-]
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<Pander> Isn't that like a greek tragedy? A man who spends all his time downloading porn but never gets to look at it?
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Quote: 136432; Rating: 297; [+|-]
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<Boogaleeboo> ...soul, what was the exact name of the file you sent me? <Boogaleeboo> I seem to have fucking LOST it
<SHODAN> I'll find it.
<deVoca> Boog, search on "12_year_old_hardcore.avi"
<Boogaleeboo> Too many results
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Quote: 136439; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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* Jedi_Peni is now known as Jedi_Penis
<melusine> Please don't show us the power of the force.
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Quote: 136444; Rating: 474; [+|-]
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<NeroMan> "Queer Eye For A Straight Guy" would be better if at the end of the episode the five gay guys combined into a giant one
<MattW> I'll form the ARM
<Karva> I want to be the crotch
<NeroMan> "I'll give the head"
<NeroMan> I mean.. form the head.
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Quote: 136460; Rating: 402; [+|-]
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<PunisherBass> I'd rather smear my nuts in honey and then tea bag a red ant hill than watch the matrix reloaded again
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Quote: 136465; Rating: 338; [+|-]
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<CarnivorousPlant> dog + compost /= (dog+compost)
<CarnivorousPlant> (dog+compost) = dog^compost
<CarnivorousPlant> and if any mathematicians object, they are free to come over here and smell this blasted dog
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Quote: 136477; Rating: 529; [+|-]
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<robbie212> where are you getting this stuff?
<bahumbug> robbie212: www.freedvdrsforpeoplethatarentjewish.com
<robbie212> it doesn't work
<bahumbug> you must be jewish
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Quote: 136478; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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<Nukeitall> Hey guys, I need a list of issues people always discuss but can never truly resolve.
<Dreadnought> whether god really DOES kill a kitten every time a person masturbates
<Dreadnought> and if domokun are real
<WizardofWestmarch> oh domo is real
<Treen> yeah, domo's real
<Astyanax> pfft of course domo is real
* Dreadnought puts on his domo suit
<Astyanax> doiiiii
<WizardofWestmarch> look at all his crazy hijinks living with Usajii
<Nukeitall> Domokun kills kittens because of a large tumor making him think god speaks to him. next.
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Quote: 136485; Rating: 26; [+|-]
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<Ralph`> u know teh way balck ppl talk?
<Ralph`> how tehy say "thur" stead of "there" and "hur" stead of "hair"?
<AXEiii> ...?
<Ralph`> how do you think they say "her" as in... "her"?
<DeAZNriDe> that bitch
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Quote: 136486; Rating: 123; [+|-]
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<Alman> Stacy's mom has got it goin' on, ooh yeah...
<Tyrillis> U see the video for that
<Tyrillis> Her mom is pretty hot
<Alman> yea
<Alman> stacy's not too bad
<Alman> either
Tyrillis> :P
<Alman> but she's like 10
<Alman> so that sucks
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Quote: 136487; Rating: 177; [+|-]
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(iTM): are you racist?
(killjesus): gosh
(killjesus): here we go again
(killjesus): jumping to conclusions
(killjesus): will it make you feel better if i tell you my name is Adolf
(killjesus): and that i think black people are lesser human beings?
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Quote: 136494; Rating: 636; [+|-]
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<Flammie> I have a secret.
<Flammie> I'm deaf.
* Chibi points and laughs in braile
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Quote: 136501; Rating: 615; [+|-]
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< mfh> fuck
< mfh> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
<@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good programmer
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Quote: 136504; Rating: 1028; [+|-]
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<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET ADDRESS
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