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Quote: 102351; Rating: 993; [+|-]
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<Gnell|CHAMPION> OMG A DONKEY JUST WENT BY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
<Gnell|CHAMPION> i wanna ride it
* Gnell|CHAMPION is away
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Quote: 102352; Rating: 392; [+|-]
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<ThePerfectCore> I hate "fake-geek" chicks.
<blacksun> Oh yeah?
<ThePerfectCore> "omg i lik compooters"
<ThePerfectCore> "Yeah?"
<ThePerfectCore> "yeah my dady bought me a dell 2day it has 2ghz of ram!!! loool!!!!"
<blacksun> hahaha
<ThePerfectCore> *thud thud thud*
<ThePerfectCore> That would be my head fucking the wall
<ThePerfectCore> My wall gets more action than I do
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Quote: 102354; Rating: 1184; [+|-]
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<Faight> Reproduction is stupid.
<AndrewLB> You want sex, don't you?
<Faight> I have a 6 year old brother.
<Faight> He's an annoying little bastard, but I love him.
<Faight> =/
<AndrewLB> That was quite possibly THE most disturbing answer you could give.
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Quote: 102453; Rating: 134; [+|-]
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<sh`> hmmm i wonder if i can burn at 52x now
<sh`> time to add to my pile of hardware sitting in/on the case
<sh`> brb
* sh` has quit IRC
<xyonz> he needs a girlfriend or something
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Quote: 102467; Rating: 223; [+|-]
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<foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men convention. seeya later
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Quote: 102469; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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<steven> Alman : Will you be my friend?
<Alman> uhm lemme do a whois on you first
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Quote: 102473; Rating: 481; [+|-]
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<LesVoix> i want to start the straight pride parade
<fubar-42o> yah
<fubar-42o> what kinda flag would we have
<fubar-42o> since the gay ppl have a rainbow
<fubar-42o> we should
<fubar-42o> have 2 chicks doin it
<LesVoix> LOL
<fubar-42o> cuz thats what every straight guy wants to see
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Quote: 102486; Rating: 692; [+|-]
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<[CKS]Red_Robot> i know i should be working on my paper, but id rather be playing warcraft, so to compromise im doing almost nothing
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Quote: 102620; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<esco600> why would someone's mom be on bash.org?
<aNuBiS-> moms need nerd love too
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Quote: 102752; Rating: 40; [+|-]
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<mufffin> i could live there
<mufffin> except its an apartment
<Schlurbna> That's not to say I wouldn't live there but I expect more from
penthouse apartments.
<hoek_> Schlurbna - you expect penthouse models in there?
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Quote: 102875; Rating: -56; [+|-]
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<ater> how bout a tamigotchi game with a chinktwat
<ater> your only options would be "Do Math" "Practice Violin"
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Quote: 102979; Rating: 880; [+|-]
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<cwilbur> we have a database table with fifteen million rows in it.
<cwilbur> they brought a manual database change in.
<cwilbur> "please print a table dump before and after you make the change."
<Azhrarn> nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from!
<cwilbur> there are fifteen million rows in the table. if you want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes sense. but do you really want a *book*?
<cwilbur> "our policy says that we need a printout."
<confound> hahaha
<cwilbur> oooookay.
<Azhrarn> print out a link to the backup on your intranet :)
<confound> "that's not MY policy."
<cwilbur> no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout.
<pmichaud> what font size? how many lines per page?
<Azhrarn> Poor trees
<Halfjack> They'll only want it once.
<cwilbur> when someone asks why we've gone through three toner cartridges and the printer is still printing, we'll refer them to the twit.
<Azhrarn> shrink the font till it fits on one page :)
<pmichaud> purl, 15000000 / 66
<purl> 227272.727272727
<Azhrarn> !
<pmichaud> purl, 227272 / 5000
<purl> 45.4544
<pmichaud> 45 cases of paper :-)
<pmichaud> at 66 lines per page
<Azhrarn> and after he makes the changes...
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Quote: 103072; Rating: 120; [+|-]
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<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick
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Quote: 103102; Rating: 508; [+|-]
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<Taiken> A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!
<Shempo> WHAT!?
<Shempo> TIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL?
<Taiken> WORSE!
<Taiken> IM OUT OF MARIJUANA!
<Shempo> Oh
<Shempo> My
<Shempo> God
* Shempo calls up Canabis-Man
<Shempo> SAVE HIM CANABIS MAN!
<Taiken> ...
<Taiken> Where is Cannabis man?
<Shempo> Probably high.
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Quote: 103104; Rating: 656; [+|-]
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<gellehsak> all the french kids at my school
<gellehsak> look at porn all day
<gellehsak> they're like
<gellehsak> "HAW HAW HAW... LE PORNO EST TRES BIEN"
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Quote: 103111; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<genesis> mommy, why doesnt bc do logic math?
<ch> because you touch yourself.
<genesis> a world without bit shifts is a world i dont want to masturbate in
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Quote: 103202; Rating: 408; [+|-]
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<OwnerDemon> It kind of sucks now that there are so many computer jokes and innuendos on bash.org that people like me can't understand them.
<TheOne> 7|-|47z (|_|z j0012 4 f|_||<1n9 DUMB4SS!
<OwnerDemon> Exactly.
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Quote: 103210; Rating: 199; [+|-]
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notten: it's cliche shit and i'd rather masturbate with sandpaper than watch a minute of mtv
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Quote: 103215; Rating: 558; [+|-]
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<jeev> there are 2 things i hate in life
<jeev> racists and mexicans
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Quote: 103244; Rating: 351; [+|-]
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<Judith> if you were trying to market condoms, what would you try to use for a slogan?
<Redeemer> "Wear the fuck out of us."
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Quote: 103251; Rating: 661; [+|-]
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<Yuli> ...so anyway, I was all like "where's my coconuts man! I ordered em last week!"
<Yuli> and the guy just stared at me like "what the fuck?"
<Yuli> so i was all like "whatever man, send them to my hut"
<Yuli> and I paddled away
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Quote: 103266; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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<_Dogbert_> whats the diff btwn a bucket of menstrual fluid, and a bucket of sand?
<rusty-chix> wtf?
<_Dogbert_> you cant gargle a bucket of sand
*** You were kicked by ChanOP ([Android] stop now.)
*** Attempting to rejoin...
*** Rejoined channel #teens
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Quote: 103371; Rating: 832; [+|-]
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<acaos> why does bread come in one shape, meat in another, and cheese in a third so when you want to make a sandwich you have to cut and fold and contort to get it right? =)
<leile> hahaha.
<leile> its like food-origami.
<acaos> my thought exactly =)
<acaos> but I have balanced the meat-yin and the cheese-yang and the bread-fu now.
<acaos> the ancient, mystical art of Sandwich-Do.
<leile> hahaha
<leile> HAHAHAHA.
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Quote: 103407; Rating: 118; [+|-]
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<werxxx> ok..
<werxxx> lemme put it like this
<werxxx> how to make my script check dns of a given domain
<xterm> werxxx: google should be able to help you out.
<werxxx> google?
<werxxx> so i'll need to configure my script to parse google query result?
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Quote: 103409; Rating: 210; |
<quacks> u look like that milk girl
<quacks> on the cup
<@dolphie> huh?
<@dolphie> nonsense.. that girls so ugly
<quacks> precisely.
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Quote: 103422; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Sebbe> Just found some online CPR 101
<Sebbe> The instructions are: Call, blow, pump
<Sebbe> Kinda makes me wonder if I accidentally stumbled upon a Hooker 101
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Quote: 103452; Rating: 330; [+|-]
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* ChanServ has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* Cold_Lich sets mode: -ooo Deleter Elight|Xenosaga KamikazeChicken|Away
* Cold_Lich sets mode: -o Arieswind
* Cold_Lich whistles innocently
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Quote: 103459; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200 amps
### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*
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Quote: 103463; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<TFreak> She was like, "are you enjoying this"
<TFreak> And I was like thinking, dude, it feels like I'm fucking a bowl of spagetti-Os or something.
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Quote: 103467; Rating: 166; [+|-]
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Knight Takeru: what happened to your old greeting?
TheDauntlessStar: i dunno
TheDauntlessStar: it was there, then it just sorta faded away...
TheDauntlessStar: like George Lucas's directing abilities
Knight Takeru: Yup...
Knight Takeru: or Bush's leadership..
Knight Takeru: wait
Knight Takeru: that was never there
Knight Takeru: my bad...
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Quote: 103475; Rating: 180; [+|-]
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<Rigger> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<Rigger> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<Rigger> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<Rigger> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
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Quote: 103476; Rating: 177; [+|-]
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<Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor
<Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous
<Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged
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Quote: 103480; Rating: 56; [+|-]
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<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> oh, you wanna play it like that efnet?
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> disconnect me will you?
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> i'll leech my warez elsewhere, thank you!
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Quote: 103483; Rating: 123; [+|-]
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<Rocket> nothing gay about predicting the size of a mans cock
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Quote: 103486; Rating: 410; [+|-]
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<_3Apophis> how i'm i stupid?
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Quote: 103489; Rating: 168; [+|-]
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<Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends
<Jemte> yea that sucks
<fdog> LOL
Topic (#clemson): changed by fdog: <Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends
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Quote: 103496; Rating: 423; [+|-]
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(AnonymousOtaku) how do i go afk? this is my first time on IRC
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Quote: 103497; Rating: 451; [+|-]
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*|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine Bitches 101"
<moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats through its tongue.
<moes_19> dipshit
<Puedlfor> Ouch.
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Quote: 103499; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<Miro-kun> My karma ran over your dogma
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Quote: 103516; Rating: 790; [+|-]
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<B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home while I catch the
last of the ball game"
<B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.
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Quote: 103534; Rating: -328; [+|-]
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<MagicCow> I hate people who think that being gay should give them special rights.. it's not like they are women, or black.. who were unfortunately born wrong.. they made a choice to be stupid faggots.
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Quote: 103535; Rating: 712; [+|-]
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<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to
fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"
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Quote: 103537; Rating: 162; [+|-]
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<hohum> when you get to the printf(); *BAM* instant coredump followed by an suid shell
<hohum> get it?
<brandon> to a degree
* brandon isn't much on programming
<hohum> don't worry, neither are the people who write software :)
<brandon> lol
<hohum> you'd fit right in
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Quote: 103546; Rating: 747; [+|-]
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<Cody> Hmmm
<Cody> Amazon offers a discount if you buy Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations at the same time as Marx's Communist Manifesto...
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Quote: 103549; Rating: 625; [+|-]
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<drwiii> this game rules.
<drwiii> i punched a building and it EXPLODED
<drwiii> but enough about that, let's talk about the game.
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Quote: 103554; Rating: 361; [+|-]
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<KiTTyKaT`> What state is Alabama in?
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Quote: 103558; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<@GeNOc|DE> damn i wanna bone the lead singer of evanescence
<@eught> what does she looks like?
<@GeNOc|DE> sex
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Quote: 103559; Rating: 1176; [+|-]
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<@redfox> fuk
<@redfox> just found out my sisters been in labour for 7 hours
<@bovineaux> omg ur gonna be a daddy!
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Quote: 103562; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<Knghtbrd> something so totally feels wrong ...
<lisa> ?
<Knghtbrd> no idea, but going outside right now makes me wanna run back inside, bar the door, and hide under the bed.
<lisa> republicans in town or something?
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Quote: 103577; Rating: 420; [+|-]
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<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED.
<sheeps> it got lucky ay?
<NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.
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