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Quote: 104644; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think "oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!" and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere... |
|
Quote: 104694; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the awesome none of the bullshit. |
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Quote: 104696; Rating: 83; [+|-]
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<Mystic_Fibrosis> wouldn't be ironic if my worth as a person was determined by my connection quality?
<nosmo> you are unreliable and frequently die
<nosmo> but quite fast
<nosmo> me however :D Fast, I can keep going for 8 days (so far) can get huge amounts done in seconds :D |
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Quote: 104704; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<FoxMcCloud> Do you think Shigeru Miyamoto screams out pokemon-names during sex? |
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Quote: 104706; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be incest?
(mortiis) no
(mortiis) idiot |
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Quote: 104713; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<thecool> lol
<hgl> no porn is me time |
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Quote: 104718; Rating: 297; [+|-]
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<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't polute humanitys gene pool |
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Quote: 104725; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized! |
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Quote: 104741; Rating: 65; [+|-]
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<vSvAINT> Rune...do you ever Sleep Man?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <dcpsoguy> r00n: Do you sleep?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <@RuneWalsh> nah, sleeping goes against everything I believe in
<vSvAINT> it's kind of sad you have a prepared response for that
<RuneWalsh> no, it's spontaneous
<vSvAINT> Spontaneous like Combustion or Spontaneous like Jerry Lewis?
<RuneWalsh> besides, I responded to that question earlier and didn't feel like typing that again
<RuneWalsh> I'll have to think about that
<RuneWalsh> I wouldn't really call Jerry Lewis spontaneous though
<RuneWalsh> which doubles as my point as well
<vSvAINT> Haha Instantaneous. "NEW! Instantaneous Jerry Lewis!u00a0 Just add Water!"
<RuneWalsh> "Wow mommy, can I have one?"
<RuneWalsh> "Not till you're older, dear" |
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Quote: 104747; Rating: 306; [+|-]
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* Wang feasts on elbow macaroni and baby carrots
<slm> good for you, you have the diet of a 3 year old
<Wang> woo
<Wang> and i'm hung like one too
<Wang> ...
<slm> uhhhh... congrats? |
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Quote: 104750; Rating: 100; [+|-]
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<Jamon> he said, "my girlfriend fucks like a rabid hamster."
<Jamon> other guy said, "wow, that's great.....mine fucks like a walrus." |
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Quote: 104759; Rating: 318; [+|-]
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* freeloki hopes that this emote works; otherwise, he'll look like an idiot.
<Abstruse> "emote"?
* freeloki notes that his emoting was successful. 8)
<Abstruse> I remember when the /me command was called an ACTION...now it's an "emote"?u00a0 Dude, they've finally managed to pussify IRC... |
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Quote: 104762; Rating: 123; [+|-]
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<sixxer> bmbr.. ROOOOOOCKS
<bmbr> yeo
<bmbr> whysat
<sixxer> bmbr: cos of your new bot
<bmbr> hopefully he stays stable and quiet
<bmbr> and takes very little work on my part
<sixxer> I'd like to see him freak out and start throwing people in blenders
<bmbr> ill see if theres a .tcl for that |
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Quote: 104768; Rating: 1; [+|-]
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<NeilX> They have rename the Bible
<NeilX> its now called
<NeilX> The Sidez
<NeilX> I read chapter one.
<NeilX> the hold gospel according to Sega
<NeilX> and the mighty sidez came down
<NeilX> and he said
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER
<NeilX> AND POOF
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua fighter
<NeilX> the lord sidez said
<NeilX> teh sucks there is no good combo moves
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER 2
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua figher
<wazy> neil is drunk
<NeilX> but the elite g0d sidez said, i need more vectorz
<NeilX> AND POOF
<NeilX> THE DICSIPLE XBOX WAS BORNAGE
<Sidez> ON THE SEVENTH DAY
<Sidez> I CREATED
<Sidez> TEH XBOX
<Sidez> AND IT WAS BIG
<NeilX> and it sucked
<Sidez> SILENCE INFIDEL
<NeilX> ON THE EIGTH DAY HE CREATED HIS OWN COCK
<NeilX> AND IT WAS SMALL
* NeilX laughs |
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Quote: 104770; Rating: 182; [+|-]
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<`sic> now that should be in guinness
<`sic> world record for longest rolling ball of cats |
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Quote: 104791; Rating: 333; [+|-]
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<@Phucker> Calling people by their real-names on IRC is a violation of RFC1459. |
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Quote: 104799; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<xen0cide> Whats black and blue and hates sex?
<Cloud9> Jesus, what?
<xen0cide> Its not Jesus, its the 7 year old in my trunk.
<Cloud9> You sick fuck. |
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Quote: 104878; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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* darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are just Bill Hicks quotes
<darkLem> cheating bastards. |
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Quote: 104893; Rating: 66; [+|-]
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<ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
<ChemicalBurn> scarey!
* ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower |
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Quote: 104916; Rating: 16; [+|-]
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<Siidu> what died, the hdd?
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> FUCKING CHRIST!
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> yeah
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> some complicated core shit
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> brought it down faster than a fat chick falling down a stairwell |
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Quote: 104922; Rating: 425; [+|-]
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<GrimReap99> Anti is an example of an over-irc-ed child.
<GrimReap99> Antidead: "Hallo mother, what is for teh breakfahst? double eww tee eff? Pancakes? Stfu."
<ANTIAWAY> dad - "!kb Antidead"
<GrimReap99> Mother: "!topic Pancakes biotch" |
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Quote: 104928; Rating: 317; [+|-]
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<ANTIDEAD> I had a dream last night that I met you in real life, so we dressed up as zoro and smuggled drugs over the mexican border
<ANTIDEAD> Perhaps I should lay off the burritos |
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Quote: 104929; Rating: 465; [+|-]
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DoUBleu00a0 ChiN 47: omg im gonna be the most popular kid in school tomorrow
rcknouttonight: why
DoUBleu00a0 ChiN 47: i have tic tacs |
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Quote: 104937; Rating: 395; [+|-]
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<SillyBoob> HELP
<SillyBoob> WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
<SillyBoob> WHERE DO YOU GO TO DOWNLOAD THE CDS?
<SillyBoob> MY CUZIN DOWNLOADED HTIS FOR ME
<Takaznik> type /quit get cd list and wait for about an hour
* Quits: SillyBoob (get cd list)
<Naked_Eye> How much you bet he will be back in an hour |
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Quote: 104946; Rating: 668; [+|-]
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MYNAME15NEO: Damnit...
DgtlHavoc: ?
MYNAME15NEO: The only place I can put my cheezits will block the light on my keyboard
DgtlHavoc: did you try the top of your head?
DgtlHavoc: on top the monitor?
DgtlHavoc: on the floor?
MYNAME15NEO: Thats where I've got the lamp
MYNAME15NEO: The monitors already got enough shit on it
MYNAME15NEO: And I don't have a floor
DgtlHavoc: ?
DgtlHavoc: living in a electomagnetically suspended desk?
MYNAME15NEO: Chair and desk is suspended from cables by a blackhawk helicopter
MYNAME15NEO: I won the helicopter using my Pepsi points |
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Quote: 104952; Rating: 541; [+|-]
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XtBA: oh yea and my moms wants u to ask ur pops if he can drive us to air plane thing
XtBA: holy shit i forgot the name
XtBA: oh yea... airport
Jiggy: ....wow
XtBA: haha i was thinking bout plane station |
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Quote: 105097; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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<sKILLET> wut up m?
<m> uhm
<m> J, K and L |
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Quote: 105108; Rating: -979; [+|-]
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<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
<@SJr> gu00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 g
<@SJr> o /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 o
<@SJr> a|u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 a
<@SJr> t|u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 `.u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 :u00a0 u00a0u00a0 t
<@SJr> s`u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0u00a0 s
<@SJr> eu00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 | /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 /u00a0 \u00a0u00a0 --__ \u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 :u00a0 u00a0 e
<@SJr> xu00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 /u00a0u00a0 _--~~u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ~--__|u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 x
<@SJr> *u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 _-~u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ~-_u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 *
<@SJr> gu00a0 u00a0 _u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 _.--------.______|u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 g
<@SJr> ou00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 ______// _ ___ _ (_(__>u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 o
<@SJr> au00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 .u00a0 C ___)u00a0 ______ (_(____>u00a0 |u00a0 /u00a0 u00a0 a
<@SJr> tu00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 / |u00a0u00a0 C ____)/u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 (_____>u00a0 |_/u00a0 u00a0u00a0 t
<@SJr> su00a0 u00a0 u00a0 / /|u00a0u00a0 C_____)u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 (___>u00a0u00a0 /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 s
<@SJr> eu00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0u00a0 (u00a0u00a0 _C_____)______/u00a0 // _/ /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 e
<@SJr> xu00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |__u00a0u00a0 \_________// (__/u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 x
<@SJr> *u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0u00a0 ____)u00a0u00a0 `----u00a0u00a0 --'u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 *
<@SJr> gu00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 _u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ___u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 /_u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 _/ | g
<@SJr> ou00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 /u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 | o
<@SJr> au00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 | a
<@SJr> tu00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 / /u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |t
<@SJr> su00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 / /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 __/___/u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |s
<@SJr> eu00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 / /u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |e
<@SJr> xu00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0u00a0 |x
<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x * |
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Quote: 105156; Rating: 184; [+|-]
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<sui`> the good news is, you're almost through the sickness
<sui`> the bad news is, it's sars and you're going to die. |
|
Quote: 105159; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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<Batty> Darth Vader is Lukes father!
<Batty> and father in dutch = vader
<Borlath_Mon> ...yeeeeeees
<Batty> So he's darth father!
<Borlath_Mon> So? George Lucas wasn't counting on Star Wars fans to be clever enough to speak any language other than "Trailer Trash". |
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Quote: 105162; Rating: 139; [+|-]
|
|
<gash> It's hard to find a potenial employer that will accept resume's via dcc :) |
|
Quote: 105164; Rating: 291; [+|-]
|
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<Svenson> lol.. yahoo says "Someone else has already chosen svensonwhocannotfigureoutaloginname" |
|
Quote: 105166; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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<@cs`on`xbox> it's fucking hott
<@cs`on`xbox> no more spikes
<@cs`on`xbox> no more lag
<@cs`on`xbox> no more fps problems
<@cs`on`xbox> just CS
<+oi> i'll steal your tv |
|
Quote: 105168; Rating: 181; [+|-]
|
|
<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that |
|
Quote: 105170; Rating: 317; [+|-]
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<Eckostyle> any girls want sex? send me a message privately
<Eckostyle> fuck, my mom saw me type that |
|
Quote: 105176; Rating: 117; [+|-]
|
|
<Satan> lmao "You know how bad evolution is going right now?u00a0 Me." |
|
Quote: 105177; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<phreakinb> 1876: At the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, America's first 100-year birthday bash, fair goers visit the Turkish Hashish Exposition and toke up in order to enhance their fair experience.
<`WarpKat> it's nice to know that my parents weren't the only stoners from the past |
|
Quote: 105178; Rating: 448; [+|-]
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<Boycy> ooh, find me an ip :)
<Boycy> have a 3line batch file to send the same net send msg until you push Ctrl+C :D
<Hub-Security> boycy has ip: 137.222.226.67
<Kameleon> 137.222.226.67
<Boycy> excuse me for a few seconds...
<Boycy> FUCKER
<Kameleon> lmao
<Boycy> I know how to find *my* ip you bastard
<Boycy> 600 shitty net send boxes oh god I hate you |
|
Quote: 105180; Rating: 420; [+|-]
|
|
<Eckostyle> If Mexico had a major eathquake, Britain would send 100,000 replacement troopes to control the riots, Brasil would send 100,00 pounds of replacement food, and teh USA would send 100,000 repalcement Mexicans |
|
Quote: 105190; Rating: 121; [+|-]
|
|
* phoen][x hears 'Sounds of /dev/urandom' (dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/dsp) |
|
Quote: 105195; Rating: 141; [+|-]
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<D> the #amish dont believe in pr0n
<D> :P
<D> well, they do
<D> but it's all ankle-flashing to them |
|
Quote: 105196; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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<gbWrk> * U.N. nuke agency urges Iran to be 'fully transparent'
<gbWrk> turn Iran into glass! |
|
Quote: 105197; Rating: 391; [+|-]
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<CaSe-> mines this big [-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]
<Commando^> Your dick has wordwrap? |
|
Quote: 105199; Rating: 704; [+|-]
|
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[anewname] CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL |
|
Quote: 105201; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?1730
<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?3630
<BadDoggie> http://bash.org/?22799
<BadDoggie> Wasted: quit typing the top 100
<Mitzii> why, your monitor running out of ink or something??? |
|
Quote: 105202; Rating: 194; [+|-]
|
<JOCK> i want to go to Six Fags
<JOCK> Flags>>>>>>.....sorry
<KID_B> You wanna go do Six Fags?
* KID_B steps back
<KID_B> word up man.. do your thing..
<JOCK> nawww man
<JOCK> you know rides,lonnytoons,and stuff
<KID_B> Yeah. Gay bars. |
|
Quote: 105208; Rating: 10; [+|-]
|
|
<BobTheMilkman> eating eggs is liking giving a bird an abortion followed by eating the aborted fetus |
|
Quote: 105209; Rating: 369; [+|-]
|
<omega> it was funny
<omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of these latley, about the us)
<omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
<omega> like
<omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
<omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
<omega> gave him weapons
<omega> and shit
<omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama, and then had to later go in and get him
<omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
<omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
<omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
<omega> and then he stopped talking |
|
Quote: 105213; Rating: 208; [+|-]
|
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<Airlea> it used to horrify me every time we went past a field of sheep.. he'd make all these noises. That's why he's an ex. |
|
Quote: 105216; Rating: 71; [+|-]
|
<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> yeah
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> hm
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa? |
|