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Quote: 100456; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a friend that was going through CS in college, so we were talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department now?"
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Quote: 100468; Rating: 147; [+|-]
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<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE than weed
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Quote: 100470; Rating: 724; [+|-]
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<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal adventures? Did
she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with the camera.
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Quote: 100475; Rating: 11; [+|-]
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<@modernman> Juicy.Pussies.Uncensored.JAV-XRS
<@modernman> id fuckin hope its uncensored
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Quote: 100479; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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[+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street, right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two of us"
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Quote: 100481; Rating: 690; [+|-]
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<ChOwShAdY> like i fucked a 14 year old when i was 17
<ChOwShAdY> she was immature as a motherufcker
<@impuritor> dude, that is quite possibly the dumbest thing i've ever heard anyone say in my entire life
<@impuritor> that's like saying
<@impuritor> "My car runs like shit when i'm out of gas"
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Quote: 100483; Rating: -21; [+|-]
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<Yellah> Celebrate the decrimalisation of Pot
<[Piratez]> lets make this national
* [Piratez] replaces the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with a weed leaf.
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Quote: 100486; Rating: 398; [+|-]
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<nailer> I think I'm tired - I just spent three seconds wondering why `Data Track' by `Data Track' wouldn't play from this CD
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Quote: 100487; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<Lyndrek> I don't like Pulp Fiction
<Nalani> Why would you dislike Pulp?
<DarkLich> Maybe it confused him.
<DarkLich> Maybe he was like, "What?! John Travolta died two scenes ago!"
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Quote: 100489; Rating: 612; [+|-]
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<@John> why does there have to be sunlight
<@Luster> so us geeks know when to go to bed
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Quote: 100494; Rating: 275; |
<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH
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Quote: 100498; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<TriNitY> how are u only 1/2 hour ahed?
<TriNitY> ur clock iz fux0r3d
<Mr_Man> i set my clocks ahead for no good reason other than i feel like i step into the future when i enter my room
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Quote: 100523; Rating: 50; [+|-]
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<Vangalisk> Gawd, if that american idle twat got any heavier rotation her makeup is going to fly off her face in large cakes
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Quote: 100524; Rating: 202; [+|-]
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<boyd> anyway, theres a survey on the back and one question is "What was the easiest way to make new friends at your Teritary Institution?"
<boyd> if my name wasn't going to be attached to it, i'd put something like "i'm doing computer science, I HAVE NO FRIENDS
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Quote: 100527; Rating: 547; [+|-]
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<Snipe> you forget though, I have wayyy too much time on my hands
<Snipe> wait, no i dont
<Snipe> fuck that project is due tomorrow
<Snipe> brb
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Quote: 100541; Rating: 353; [+|-]
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* woodss has Favourites
* fungi has Bookmarks
* morner has a secretary :P
morner: well, more of an assistant really
morner: ...
morner: ok, it's a pda
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Quote: 100559; Rating: 68; [+|-]
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<Necroth|HAPPY> <|707th|Selerox> not even god understands women <-- not even womans understand womans ;)
<|MoK|Fluid> Thank god, else we wouldn't have catfights.
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Quote: 100570; Rating: 1200; [+|-]
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* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
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Quote: 100595; Rating: 31; [+|-]
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<RANMA316> Japanese snacks rock
<PooIsYummy> No they don't, japanese snacks suck.
<PooIsYummy> They aren't treats, if you gave them to small children in north america they'd start to cry
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Quote: 100719; Rating: 317; [+|-]
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neiras: "Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians!"
ennoia: Fuck
ennoia: I need cable
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Quote: 100732; Rating: 138; [+|-]
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* Maho pats the trash can... "was it good for you?"
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Quote: 100737; Rating: 1686; [+|-]
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Trauma Kittten: OMG
MY CAT JUST JIZZED ON ME
Trauma Kittten: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
lordviram: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
lordviram: wtf didi you do to it?
lordviram: i didnt know you were into all that
lordviram: lol
lordviram: wow
Trauma Kittten: well he's a longhair cat
Trauma Kittten: and sometimes his pants get matted
Trauma Kittten: so i was holding him on my lap
Trauma Kittten: and he was purring with his eyes closed and i'm like trying to untangle them
Trauma Kittten: then i realized one of the bunches wasn't a tangle, it was his nuts
Trauma Kittten: they both kinda feel the same
Trauma Kittten: then my hand gets a glob of clear stuff on it
lordviram: wow
Trauma Kittten: i'm gonna kill myself
lordviram: that's just
lordviram: hahahahaha
Trauma Kittten: i just jerked my cat off
lordviram: i'd say something but nothing can really add to the effect of admitting you just jerked off your cat
Trauma Kittten: heh....
Trauma Kittten: i'm surprised that one didn't make it to your profile heh
lordviram: that's cuz i'm gonna post that to bash.org
lordviram: LOL
Trauma Kittten: !
lordviram: ....wow
Trauma Kittten: OH NO
Trauma Kittten: the cat is back
Trauma Kittten: heh
lordviram: maybe it wants to return the favor
lordviram: heh
Trauma Kittten: well there was one site i saw where it recommended putting whipped cream on your clit and letting em lick it off
Trauma Kittten: but i wouldn' go that far, i don't think
lordviram: you dont think?
lordviram: o.0
lordviram: well. you did just jack off your cat.
Trauma Kittten: BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Trauma Kittten: i was just trying to make him have nice pants
lordviram: you are one freaky chick
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Quote: 100740; Rating: 532; [+|-]
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<Wippersnapper> Guess what fools, I am going skydiving
<schnorks> Why does that make us fools?
<Wippersnapper> Because I am jumping out of a plane... oh wait
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Quote: 100757; Rating: 125; [+|-]
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<King-of-darknesses> my kernel is panic'ing , i need to reassure him some
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Quote: 100758; Rating: 275; [+|-]
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e l i t e m r p: no work on monday, woo waaaaa
r ever end in e: WHY not
e l i t e m r p: holiday
e l i t e m r p: the day we remember all the people who died to give me a day off from work
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Quote: 100767; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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<Tiffany> mapso did you know that my brother is having a baby?
<Mapso> Is it yours?
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Quote: 100770; Rating: 1056; [+|-]
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<Masao[RY]> DS: I really enjoy translating :-)
<Ninja-San> translate this: <^>(-_-)<^>
<DS> well
<DS> let's tranlate it from japanese to english
<DS> <^>('_')<^>
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Quote: 100781; Rating: 92; |
<Alter_Legiones> don't ya just hate it, when you try to find a rom. then you click on a link that you think takes you to a rom site, but is loaded with porn ads, and when the thing opens, the first thing you hear is "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR LONG COCK!* while your mom is in the room >_<
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Quote: 100792; Rating: 357; [+|-]
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<Destruya> HEY WOW I'M SO GOOD AT BF1942 BECAUSE I HANG OUTSIDE SPAWN POINTS
<Destruya> ESPECIALLY THE PERMANENT ONES
<fatehaze> lol
<Destruya> AND I FUCKING KILL EVERYONE BEFORE THEY CAN SHOOT ME BACK
<Destruya> AND PEOPLE LIKE THIS "DESTROYA" GUY YELL AT ME PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING AWESOMELY 1337
<Destruya> AND HE'S JEALOUS OF MY MAD SKIZZILS, YO
<Destruya> OMGOMGOMG
<Destruya> I SHOULD WRITE A TIPBOOK ON BF1942
<Destruya> "BF1942: HOW TO BE FUCKING COOL LIKE ME IN JUST ONE VERY SIMPLE STEP"
<Destruya> </sarcasm>
<Destruya> I just got out of a really goddamned frustrating BF1942 game full of career cocksmoking permanent base campers. Could you tell?
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Quote: 100793; Rating: 469; [+|-]
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-!- DuDeR has joined #friends
<DuDeR> i love this channel
<DuDeR> people are so friendly here
<DuDeR> unlike that one channel where the people shout vulgar insults at me usually involving testicles and people with white hair
<T-Z-O> get the fuck outta here you gay ass albino nut sucking bitch
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Quote: 100794; Rating: 302; [+|-]
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<nih> if I was reincarnated, I'd be a baby seal
<nih> someone might take me clubbing.
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Quote: 100796; Rating: 458; [+|-]
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* Evil-PR-Director changes topic to 'IRC - Where the men are men, the women are men, and anyone under 18 has a .gov ident.'
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Quote: 100798; Rating: 1415; [+|-]
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(mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
(mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO THE MUSIc
(mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad OF JuST the LIGHt
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Quote: 100807; Rating: 225; [+|-]
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(blackanese): when does a guy lose his virginity?
(blackanese): when he ejaculates or when he fucks?
(dufflebag): lol black just thought he lost his verginity cos he jerked off
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Quote: 100820; Rating: 740; [+|-]
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tp: Ewwwwwwww! I was jerking off, and my cat kinda jumped on my stomach before................yeah....... now I gotta give the cat a bath or my parents will think i'm a perv..... :(
Psycho_James: Dude, you jerked off on your cat, YOU ARE a perv...
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Quote: 100837; Rating: 128; |
<cold_russian> i think... i just... blew up... the heater.
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Quote: 100850; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<RattleHead> kinda like the fact that the drink hampers your judgement in female partnership for the night :P
<RattleHead> Drunk Person: "Boooy, loook ad dat GOJUS womun ova deer!"
<RattleHead> Sober Person: "Are you talking about that fat nasty cow over by the door?
<WumpSmwher> 8-p
<WumpSmwher> is that how you got your g/f ? *ducks*
<RattleHead> heh
<RattleHead> yes..... *ashamed*
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Quote: 100896; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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marty> So, what happened, did you date her? What was she like...
deathcubek> Let me put it this way. She was like an RPG.
marty> I dont get it.
deathcubek> Well... she was long, expensive, and full of monsters.
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Quote: 100904; Rating: 451; [+|-]
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<Powerslave> haha love this ticket pushed to me from our help desk: "modem making squeeking sound when connecting, needs replaced"
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Quote: 100933; Rating: 786; [+|-]
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<LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
<exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
<DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
<LarsC> yeah. i fuck you, and you don't even know I was there.
<Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem.
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Quote: 100937; Rating: 535; [+|-]
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<fabutron> so we were at sonic the other day (which is a drive up restraunt like in the fifties, for those of you that don't have sonic) and we made a joke about punching the waitress in the uterus and over the little drive up radio the guy was like "we can still hear you"
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Quote: 100942; Rating: 257; [+|-]
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<DrUDgE> black|one: what is your mom on top of me nude?
<DrUDgE> black|one: a good time!
<black|one> not for you..
<black|one> my mom is 60.
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Quote: 100961; Rating: 904; [+|-]
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<Bismarck>Ok.
<Bismarck>Over 50.000 people at the stadium watching the game.
<Bismarck>22 Players on the field
<Bismarck>2 referees,
<Bismarck>and the coaches sitting on the side of the field.
<Bismarck>So WHY did the FUCKING BIRD have to shit on MY HEAD!?
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Quote: 100967; Rating: 410; [+|-]
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<chesed> I couldn't find the food you like
<chesed> I couldn't find a card
<chesed> So I hope these flowers say it best:
<chesed> Dear Lord you make me hard
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Quote: 101030; Rating: 405; [+|-]
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<chron> YO BITCH YOU WANNA GET FUCKIN RAPED? AIGHT IMMA BUST IT OUT LIGH DIZ <boom boom boom> WELL IMMA TCP TO YO FTP THEN PUMP U FULLA PENIS.C CUZ IMMA HACKAH BITCH I DONT FEEL NO PAIN, I PLAY COUNTERSTRIKE AND EMULATE MAIM, U SUCK MY COX WHILE I ROOT YOUR BOX WHILE MY DRONES PACKET INTO YOUR GAY WINSOCKS, IMMA
HACKAH IN THE NIGHT WHEN THE TIME IS NOCTURNAL SO KISS MY DRONES AND SAY PEACE TO KERNEL. WHAT WHAT WHAT WEBSIIIIIIITE
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Quote: 101064; Rating: 162; [+|-]
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<Fickle> I dunno if this fried waffle thing is a good idea, kelsey
<kelseyB> it might be commercially available
<Fickle> right. It's already been bought by McD's
<Fickle> called the McFucking Coronary
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Quote: 101120; Rating: 422; [+|-]
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<@doggie^> argh ffs
<@doggie^> just downloaded a 12mb program
<@doggie^> now im downloading a 22mb update
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Quote: 101135; Rating: 948; [+|-]
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<_cliCk_> any boddy here???
<shaan> no
<_cliCk_> are u sure?
<shaan> yes
<shaan> quite
<_cliCk_> i will not!!!!
<shaan> will not what
<_cliCk_> be quite
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Quote: 101136; Rating: 198; [+|-]
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<Dareon> Damn it. Why is it, whenever I go down to bring up another window and slip, I always wind up launching Worms?
<Iago> It's a sign.
<Dareon> ...If the universe wanted me to go play with squishy pink things, they should send me porn popups.
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Quote: 101150; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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<superghos> sometimes my dick gets so hot it feels like it's going to burn a hole through my mouth
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