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Quote: 98388; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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<cat_gurrrl> I'm not a common street hooker! I am a self employed roadside massage therapist!
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Quote: 98389; Rating: 227; [+|-]
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<ex-machina> lol there's a guy in hellraiser 3 who kills people by chucking CDs at them. Presumably they're Win XP install discs...
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Quote: 98398; Rating: 1049; [+|-]
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<RatingsQ> WHOA I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR A MOVIE
<RatingsQ> d00d what if you had this dude, typing on IRC...
<RatingsQ> but if he falls below 55 words per minute, dalnet explodes?
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Quote: 98410; Rating: 646; [+|-]
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<Andrew_ge> whats an ip?
<Andrew_ge> cos according to this popup, my pc is broadcasting one - is that bad?
<blender> internet protocol
<Andrew_ge> better download this program just incase... its free anyhow
<Andrew_ge> also - you should check this out, its rules... http://www.gator.com
<blender> spam anyone?
<Andrew_ge> whats spam?
<blender> a lovely meat
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Quote: 98412; Rating: 166; [+|-]
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TwilightKnight: i fucking hate you so much
Dr SpaZZo: Thats what you get for breaking the goatse rules of engagement
TwilightKnight: wtf are you talking about?
Dr SpaZZo: (Article 2, chapter 5, line 9: Sending goatse to those of the female persuasion is forbidden)
TwilightKnight: heheheh
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Quote: 98419; Rating: 162; [+|-]
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<Focusyn> hmm this commercial for a local pool place here
<Focusyn> just said "And we make PAYING fun TOO!!!!"
<SJr> Hmmmm
<Focusyn> what, do they let you come in every month and pay your bill in ones in some stripper's panties?
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Quote: 98423; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant
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Quote: 98432; Rating: 1102; [+|-]
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<WrmSlayer> The AI in the matrix got it all wrong
<WrmSlayer> they should have just used cows instead of humans
<WrmSlayer> no chance of rebelion
<Reverend> yeah
<Reverend> stupid AI
<WrmSlayer> and the mootrix would have just been a big sunny infinite field of grass
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Quote: 98439; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<zez> jerry seinfeld is old.
<matt> it takes a dirty old man to do that job
<zez> no i mean he's gotta be wearing 15lbs of makeup
<matt> ya..
<matt> its really too bad
<matt> tv went downhill when he left
<zez> uh
<matt> i wish he did more
<zez> tv's been going downhilll since 1950.
<zez> i dont like seinfeld at all
<matt> heh
<matt> no way
<zez> i find him completely self absorbed and stupid
<zez> nope
<matt> (marry tyler moore)++
<zez> the only episode of seinfeld i like at all is the soup nazi one
<zez> and its not because i like seinfeld
<zez> its because i empathize with the nazi.
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Quote: 98447; Rating: 858; [+|-]
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<Diamond> But what's truly awesome is my new Radeon 9500 Pro.
<tidalblaze> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Diamond> That I will treat as if it were my first-born child.
<tidalblaze> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Diamond> ...Apparently when I have kids I'm going to stick them inside a small aluminum box.
<Diamond> And have them process numbers for me all day.
<Diamond> So I can watch porn.
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Quote: 98450; Rating: 7634; [+|-]
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Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
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Quote: 98459; Rating: 246; [+|-]
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(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all through the house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and didn't believe in christmas
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Quote: 98549; Rating: 56; [+|-]
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<x[conco]> morning
<ChrisFlugel> I just had dinner
<ChrisFlugel> still feels like morning
<ChrisFlugel> maybe because I havent wacked off yet today
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Quote: 98554; Rating: 298; [+|-]
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<Crash2xs> smoke time
* spider_gurl smokes
<Crash2xs> I wonder y all the sex workers smoke
<Inanna> friction?
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Quote: 98638; Rating: 386; [+|-]
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<KillaDawg> I don't want to move to Singapore with you. too humid
<PinkRydergurl> Well, you don't have to wear clothes..you can walk around naked like people in Africa..
<KillaDawg> Uhhhh, people in Africa have large penes, so they can comfortably walk around naked. I'm white; I'm not quite that well-endowed
<PinkRydergurl> Uhhhh, once again, we're talking about SINGAPORE, which is in ASIA....you're more "gifted" than you think you are...
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Quote: 98661; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<J-DOgg> 52. What does cobol stand for?
<Java_Lang> programming
<J-DOgg> Here's your 1st hint: common bus_____ ________ ________
<GodDess|Lang> really stupid computer language
<GodDess|Lang> that i aced
<GodDess|Lang> and forgot the name
<GLOW|SonicReducer> Completely Obsolete Business Orientated Langauge
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Quote: 98665; Rating: 1176; [+|-]
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<CommanderStab> I remember once this girl was stalking me
<CommanderStab> Some french girl named Olivia
<CommanderStab> And whenever I went online there she was on ICQ or MSN or whatever going "RARGH HELLO ^_^_^_^__^_^" and like being ultra-friendly and like doing nothing but complimenting me on whatever the hell she'd come up with for that day
<CommanderStab> And I was like, whatever but I'll put up with it, praise can be hard to come by
<CommanderStab> And then finally she said she was gonna send me a picture and I was like, YES! My patience has payed off =D
<CommanderStab> And I got the picture and I was like WTF?! This is a guy!!
<CommanderStab> How could I have gone 4 months and NOT realised that the guy's nick was "Oliver", not "Olivia" I'll never know >__<
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Quote: 98680; Rating: 500; [+|-]
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<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point
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Quote: 98686; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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<+psychoace> damn fucking netsplits
<+psychoace> when will mirc solve this problem
|
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Quote: 98701; Rating: 2128; [+|-]
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<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self
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Quote: 98862; Rating: 198; [+|-]
|
blade|uk: oh no
blade|uk: another AOLer
DONTGIVEU: uh yes
DONTGIVEU: who cares im not a bad aoler
DONTGIVEU: i do good for this room
blade|uk: room
blade|uk: haha
blade|uk: typical AOLer
blade|uk: it's called a channel
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Quote: 98863; Rating: 254; [+|-]
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<punchcard_w0rk> "fuck with me and I convert your job into a shell script"
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Quote: 98871; Rating: 485; [+|-]
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<Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences between Norwegian and English.
<Katsmall> Where's Norway?
<Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
<Teeks> Land of four A's.
<Katsmall> Is that so?
<Katsmall> Which four A's?
<Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!
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Quote: 98872; Rating: 196; [+|-]
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<BoneyCork> irc operators have a musty operator scent
<CG> na ima clean
<BoneyCork> when you go into some houses you can tell they have dogs, others you can tell they smoke
<BoneyCork> i bet if you go into CG's house you think, "irc operator"
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Quote: 98880; Rating: 325; [+|-]
|
Geeky Weezer Fan: Gay Cruises are for gay people....
onkeybutt87: they are?
onkeybutt87: uh-oh
onkeybutt87: Dad's not going to be happy about that one
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Quote: 98898; Rating: 1124; [+|-]
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<iretch> i love how the only way i can tell which family members are home
<iretch> are which lights are lit up on my hub
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Quote: 98911; Rating: 324; [+|-]
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<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off images", it only refers to inline images. Which is why it's safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl. I think it's obvious how I figured this out.
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Quote: 98917; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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<Snowman> How come I can't hack anything that I try to?
<Snowman> I even used su... I just dont know what do do after that...
<Snowman> Even when I have root...
<TheFat> *sigh* you idiot...
<TheFat> Dont you know, you need uber root not su...
<Snowman> How do I get that
<TheFat> run "halt" then "ur"
<Snowman> Sweet, so i will hack things with ur?
*** Signoff: Snowman (Disconnected)
*** Snowman([email protected]) has joined channel #hackr
<Snowman> Man... hacking is sooooo gay
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Quote: 98918; Rating: 601; [+|-]
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<Aitrus> I have three root canals with crowns scheduled, plus the removal of two wisdom teeth, and two impacted partials. PLUS two fillings.
<Aitrus> my children will be forced to brush at gunpoint.
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Quote: 98935; Rating: 386; [+|-]
|
<Aitrus> You are standing on the top of a cliff next to a clone of yourself who just so happens to be stark naked. You reach over, and deftly push the clone over the cliff. Is it:
<Aitrus> A: Homicide
<Aitrus> B: Suicide
<Aitrus> or
<Aitrus> C: Just another obscene clone fall
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Quote: 98997; Rating: 117; [+|-]
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<teefers> im khaleds rat
<teefers> he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says about him on undernet
<teefers> then i send it to him
<teefers> and he winnukes people
<vulture_> teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming ineptitude must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not to mention, I hate you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get winnuked h0 h0 h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output...
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> ha!
<Untitled2> I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw output real time
<vulture_> ever consider filtering it so you don't have to?
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> what would the fun in that be
<vulture_> being able to laugh at someone's winnuke attempts?
<Untitled2> There's an idea
<Untitled2> and have it log to syslog "silly nuke attempt from x.x.x.x
<vulture_> "initiating automatic retaliatory smurf..."
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Quote: 99000; Rating: -66; [+|-]
|
jac: "thats why asian guys can always go clubbing underage, they just borrow their dad's licence"
flash: bahahahah that would so work
nexx: er
jac: lol
nexx: asian people cant drive to get thier lisence anyway
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Quote: 99022; Rating: 854; [+|-]
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<Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for example
<Pat> its "neo"
<Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
<Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
<Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
<Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
<Pat> yes
<Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
<Pat> the oracle is really a guy
<Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
<Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's actually the one.
<Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out
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Quote: 99030; Rating: 792; [+|-]
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<@DataTek> hah
<@DataTek> antibiotics are the king
<@DataTek> u drink two beers and you're so drunk u almost pass out
<@DataTek> its like a Quad-damage powerup
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Quote: 99032; Rating: 212; [+|-]
|
<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet - Priceless
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Quote: 99035; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online"
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone"
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO"
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you"
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Quote: 99036; Rating: 96; [+|-]
|
* kate coughs on Telepath
* kate sodes mode +SARS Telepath
<kate> SUFFFER
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|
Quote: 99043; Rating: 1138; [+|-]
|
<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left
|
|
Quote: 99044; Rating: 125; [+|-]
|
<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh
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|
Quote: 99047; Rating: 327; [+|-]
|
<Yuri> heh damn man
<Yuri> 93.1mb
<Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
<xerDM> heheh
<Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
<Yuri> heh
<xerDM> hehe
<Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
* Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
<Dorn> aha
<xerDM> haha
<Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
<Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
<Dorn> course
<Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
<Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
<Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
<Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
<Dorn> :E
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Quote: 99056; Rating: 540; [+|-]
|
<GerbilNut> i was so happy last friday... i finally saw a girl with my old roomate... it finally convinced me he wasn't gay
<GerbilNut> she wasn't very attractive... but at least i knew he was straight
<GerbilNut> it would have made those nights we cuddled on the couch alittle awkward
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Quote: 99060; Rating: 30513; [+|-]
|
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right
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|
Quote: 99098; Rating: 809; [+|-]
|
<@somegrrl> i'm 14
<@Blaxthos> somegrrl: will you come help me find my puppy ?
|
|
Quote: 99139; Rating: -469; [+|-]
|
<Heavy_P> Whats the diffrence between a black and a table
<Heavy_P> A table can support a family
|
|
Quote: 99315; Rating: 233; [+|-]
|
<Seed> I had to remove one of toastt's organs once.. because he didn't pay attention
<md`> i see
<Supachikn> which organ?
<Supachikn> his skin?
<Supachikn> pancreas?
<Supachikn> appendix!
<Seed> Supachikn: a 1967 Hammond organ
|
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Quote: 99350; Rating: 493; [+|-]
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<Beelzebub> Necrophilia isn't rape, it's recycling
|
|
Quote: 99374; Rating: 1448; [+|-]
|
<Kokanshu> does anyone else have the urge to call the operators up and say 'I NEED AN EXIT, FAST!'
|
|
Quote: 99486; Rating: 660; [+|-]
|
<Tink> work is punishment for failing to procrastinate effectively
|
|
Quote: 99683; Rating: 136; [+|-]
|
<Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to label him gay ^_^
<dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
<DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with what looks like pudding.
<DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.
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Quote: 99699; Rating: 348; [+|-]
|
<Xerox|Studyage> Personally, I'm not too fond of hermaphrodites. They have more than the recommended amount of penis for a girl.
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