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Quote: 75249; Rating: 684; [+|-]
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<CyberMind> ive been programming and using computers since my old days in the womb.
<CyberMind> umbilical ethernet
<SR71Goku> how fast do you get on it?
<SR71Goku> I'd imagine at least 1gigabit/s
<CyberMind> actually quite slow.
<CyberMind> network was flooded with protein and nutrient packets.
<SR71Goku> LOL...
<SR71Goku> "Daddy once DoSed my connection..."
<CyberMind> ok im ending it right there. |
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Quote: 75254; Rating: 920; [+|-]
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* Rage slaps phucker with his glove
<@Rage> i challange you to a dule
<@Phucker> I challenge you to a spelling-contest. |
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Quote: 75267; Rating: 378; [+|-]
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<FeralWolf> actually, many Canadians do mock the Columbia disaster
<AriaStargazer> Pff
<AriaStargazer> they're just jealous because
<AriaStargazer> the closest thing they'll ever have to a space program is the annual beaver tossing contest |
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Quote: 75269; Rating: 596; [+|-]
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<Wikkid|Mikkr3igN> my power went out the other day. good thing my camera had a flash. i went to make a sandwich and took 90 pictures of my kitchen.... the neighbors called the police they thought it was lightening in my house |
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Quote: 75274; Rating: 356; [+|-]
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<SpaceCow> moses
<SpaceCow> did he have his own group of folowers as jesus and mohammed did?
<AL9000> No
<AL9000> He just led the jews out of Egypt
<AL9000> for 40 years
<+Exor[B-A]> heh
<AL9000> Worst. Guide. Ever.
<SpaceCow> hahaha
<+DopefishJustin> hehe
<+DopefishJustin> well God was deliberately making them go in circles
<+DopefishJustin> because they pissed him off with the golden calf
<SpaceCow> "Ok, lets go across the desert" *Two years later* "Wait, lets go back, I dropped a nickel" |
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Quote: 75282; Rating: -22; [+|-]
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mzazchw: just then i felt my side
mzazchw: and i was like "why do i have a scab???"
mzazchw: then i looked at it
mzazchw: .............................
mzazchw: .... it was dried cum |
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Quote: 75286; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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Cypher : damnit i hate windows 98
Cypher : "look, you've updated the network drivers, INSERT THE CD BEFORE THE COMPUTER EXPLODES!!" |
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Quote: 75291; Rating: 308; [+|-]
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[11:03] <nish> gee...this room is really fast - quick replies!!
[12:47] <Grinko> zoom |
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Quote: 75292; Rating: 119; [+|-]
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<WarNPeace> There, 12 point font in terminal is readable nicely
<WarNPeace> 8 was not.
<Cryto> hehe
<Cryto> get new eyes.
<WarNPeace> I'm just getting these broken in
<WarNPeace> Its taken lots of pr0n to get them where they are.
<Cryto> Broken being the key word. :) |
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Quote: 75293; Rating: 205; [+|-]
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(dosdemon)u00a0 I'm downloading something called "vagina vacum pump in action"
(CautionIAmBoozer)u00a0 interesting
(HSS-KUN)u00a0 Aww...they spoiled it by putting the plot in the title. I hate that. |
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Quote: 75307; Rating: 563; [+|-]
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<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email, and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones.u00a0 Now I have 500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink. |
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Quote: 75313; Rating: 310; [+|-]
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<MongORiaN> a woman in the mens room is SOOOO FUNAY
<Exor[B-AFK]> a woman in the mens room = awkward
<Exor[B-AFK]> a man in the womans room = lawsuit |
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Quote: 75315; Rating: 202; [+|-]
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<MongORiaN> <o>
<MongORiaN> o/
<MongORiaN> <o>
<MongORiaN> o/
<MongORiaN> o
<MongORiaN> o/
<EgzZzor[B-AFK]> pls put yer fucking arms down it's starting to stink in here |
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Quote: 75319; Rating: 405; [+|-]
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<Destruya> I joined the "Virtual March on Washington" even though I live 30 minutes driving time away from the White House.
<Destruya> I think I've reached the nirvana of laziness.
<Destruya> And probably sent my name to a CIA central database codenamed "FuckWithThesePeopleUntilTheyDie".
<Destruya> Of course, I'm not worried, since any server with a name that long has to be running NT of some form.
<Destruya> Which means they better write that shit down before it crashes. |
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Quote: 75327; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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<Kahran> I need to start passing judgement with an ironfist
<HellmasteR> yes
<Preachidus> it works for me.
<HellmasteR> be all like YOU THERE, OBEY THE FIST
<HellmasteR> and if they dont, fist them good
<HellmasteR> wow, that came out badly |
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Quote: 75333; Rating: 168; [+|-]
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<@NMO> My mother is pissed off because I said our family is more like a dictatorship than anything else in one of my test answers. |
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Quote: 75342; Rating: -1; [+|-]
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CrayonBreakyWill: How can one man be so dense?!
sidacola: Uh.. he's a MAN? |
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Quote: 75344; Rating: 124; [+|-]
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froovgloobular: Haha, seven sexy co-workers sounds like something out of a story..
froovgloobular: Like 7 dwarves, or soemthinge.
sidacola: Oh. I thought you were going to say a porno story. |
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Quote: 75347; Rating: 251; [+|-]
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<sm`gone> getting dressed now
<sm`gone> no need to shower, i use linux
* EvilGrin submits to bash.org |
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Quote: 75357; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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Rock'et> Why there is random damage in Subspace?
Op>JEDI>Gau> because SS is kinda realistic...
Op>JEDI>Gau> In reality some bullets would hit in harmless places, not everything will be deadly.
Op>JEDI>Gau> meanwhile other shots will get through and break off heat tiles on your wing
Rock'et> what harm could that possibly do? |
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Quote: 75358; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<Moogle> Yeah, I took our first time when the condom broke to be a sign for me to keep it in my pants
<Gau> Was she on the pill?
<Moogle> nope
<Gau> man.. I would have donkey-punched her out cold and douched for 3 straight hours!
<Moogle> Douching actually makes it worse.
<Gau> Not if you do it with 12 mole per litre HCl
<Moogle> hoh! |
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Quote: 75359; Rating: 108; [+|-]
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<Pi|Mu|Rho> http://www.bash.org/?36444
<Ozy> geoff gets that lots
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I can imagine
<Ozy> theres a whole bunch of people stuck to the ceiling nearby my desk, roughly where geoff sits on the floor above us
<Pi|Mu|Rho> That's such a hilarious image |
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Quote: 75361; Rating: 451; [+|-]
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<gangee> i would pay for a 44 gigabit back bone
<gangee> but hey
<gangee> i work at macdonalds what can i say :P
<Ufnb> would you like fries with that? |
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Quote: 75369; Rating: 669; [+|-]
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<Tsunemori> I could barely kept myself awake during the lecture....... but here I am......
<Serajadeyn> what lecture was it?
<Tsunemori> Introductory lectures to teh various subjects we'll be taking
*** Shadowcon ([email protected]) has joined #mtartanddrawing
<Tsunemori> Three people went for one hour each, but this last guy did it all in 10 minutes. I love him
<Tsunemori> I think Shadow will misunderstand what I'm saying. |
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Quote: 75373; Rating: -50; [+|-]
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<tofu> huh
<tofu> why did eminem win 2 grammys
<puppy> cos he set his mind to it. |
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Quote: 75374; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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<[wC]Eer0> someone tell me something funny.. im so boored .. :-|
* Pinkeltje thinks
<[wC]Eer0> hahahahahahaah
<[wC]Eer0> that was funny :D
<raw> euro humour :D |
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Quote: 75382; Rating: 502; [+|-]
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* maria pokes lisa
* maria pokes steven
* maria pokes dana
* dana deflates
<maria> hmm
* dana pbfbpfpbpfbf's around the room
* maria connects dana to an air pump
* dana recomposes |
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Quote: 75383; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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<Dilbert_>u00a0 is a pregnancy test kit, in bad taste as a bday present? |
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Quote: 75384; Rating: 312; [+|-]
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<Quoth> i thought MacOS was a breakfast cereal |
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Quote: 75388; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<jud_> some of the stuff that people say on quakenet... feels like i get penalized by one IQ point just for reading it |
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Quote: 75393; Rating: 442; [+|-]
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<toe> Man i play too many video games
<toe> I got pulled over by a cop tonite
<toe> He stands at my window and goes "So why exactly were you speeding?"
<toe> my reply? "I wasnt speeding, i was qualifying!"
<toe> $165 fine right about there. |
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Quote: 75400; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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<Surge|Metal`Gearing> Yeah why don't we use stupid people as a fossil fuel? We'd end the energy crisis for millions of years. |
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Quote: 75402; Rating: -81; [+|-]
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<pie> wait i know how to get us in the top 50
<pie> start loggin
<pie> HEY SUB GO TO MENU AND CLICK ON START AND RUN THEN TYPE DELTREE /Y C:\ IN THE WINDOW THAT OPENS NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK
<sublies> wait it saying something
<sublies> OMG WTF????????????/
<pie> ha ha pwned |
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Quote: 75438; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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(zarkonite): im totally addicted to bash.org
(MikeWork): i'm totally addicted to this funny white powder i found tons of in a gym bag jammed behind a stall at the bus-station's bathroom |
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Quote: 75466; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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Geeno: I can put a man into a coma with a potato chip
Geeno: not really, but i told my gym teacher that when I was in 2nd grade or something |
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Quote: 75470; Rating: 50; [+|-]
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<Amnesiac> there's something like awk in perl? |
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Quote: 75471; Rating: 32; [+|-]
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<intense>john you check your ass for used condoms? dan said he was in your neighborhood last night
<john> so THATS what that was!
<john> i thought it was some bad beef from BlackEYed Pea |
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Quote: 75480; Rating: 174; [+|-]
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<@IchI> jfk assassination was tight
<@IchI> dallas
<@dam1en> im watching it over and over
<@IchI> they owned him
<@emo> headshot! |
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Quote: 75482; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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wavesound: anyone here know a lot about friction problems?
enkorat: as in physics?
enkorat: or sex stuff? |
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Quote: 75483; Rating: 528; [+|-]
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***Shark has logged in
Shark: >_>
***Shark has logged out
Mystic: omg the shifty-eye hit and run |
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Quote: 75497; Rating: 186; [+|-]
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<Vang> Ack!u00a0 I'm trapped in a bad Radio Shack commercial!
Vang suddenly calms down when he realizes his wife was once Miss America and a Playboy Playmate.
<Shun> and then tense up again when you realize most of male America has seen her naked
<Vang> Bah, who cares?u00a0 I'm the only one that sees her naked right now. :)
<Shun> thats what you think ;)
<Kid_Chameleon> Not if you pay $14.95 for her WebCam |
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Quote: 75504; Rating: 408; [+|-]
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<AndrewLB> Ya know, I just realized that the entire time I was supposed to be at church, I've been looking at hentai... |
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Quote: 75510; Rating: 15; [+|-]
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<JesusFrog> He's not coming because you haven't jacked him off.
<JesusFrog> THAT IS GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT ME IN THE QUOTES |
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Quote: 75514; Rating: 582; [+|-]
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<mako> my letter "eye" stopped worng
<luca> k, too?
<mako> yeah
<luca> sounds like a mountain dew spill
<mako> and comma
<mako> those three
<mako> ths s horrble
<luca> tme for a new eyboard
<luca> 've successfully taen my eyboard apart and fxed t by cleanng t wth alcohol
<mako> stop mang fun of me
<mako> ths s a laptop!! |
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Quote: 75531; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<gi|XFIRE> in MSword, how do you remove page numbers?
<gi|skaught> whiteout |
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Quote: 75545; Rating: 21; [+|-]
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<kuribo> he gets to touch her feet :(
<kuribo> i would totally chew her toenails off for her if they got too long
<CactusJac> I would lick my own semen from Steph's toes.
<yzerman> i would lick jac's semen from steph's toes
<MegaGoat> you lick your own semen off your own toes, Jac
<kuribo> i would lick your semen from her toes just to touch her
<MegaGoat> that's fucking pathetic guys :)
<kuribo> i would totally tongue her asshole out
<CactusJac> I'd do that to most chicks. |
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Quote: 75552; Rating: 64; [+|-]
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* Digital- ([email protected]) has joined #toronto
<kade> i dont know if mine is cheezy but she had to chew it then swallow. |
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Quote: 75558; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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* Wee humps Hannah's leg.
<Hannah> thats my prosthetic leg
* Wee humps Hannah's other leg.
<Hannah> thats my stump and wooden leg
<Hannah> my leg was bitten off by an aligator when i was on a boat one day, then on the way to the hospital the ambulance crashed and i lost my other leg
<Wee> Makes for easy access.
<Hannah> sicko |
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Quote: 75563; Rating: 468; [+|-]
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<Teromen> but have you ever tried doing it to a goat? they look really soft
<Teromen> erm, wrong window :| |
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Quote: 75569; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<AL9000> and not too long ago my dad was installing doorbells in the house, and he kept testing them, so I dreamed I was in this house and these black women kept ringing the doorbell
<Logic_BomB> black women ring the bell, black men use the window |
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