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Quote: 46643; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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<Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
<cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
<l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
<cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
<TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
<l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
<TxcPoison> wow
<l0g1c> just warm the important part up. |
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Quote: 46646; Rating: 141; [+|-]
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<Kobe> http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ :: for all ur sex0ring n33ds
<TMBomber> ow wheres the search by crime? u don't even get to know what they are in for :P |
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Quote: 46647; Rating: 161; [+|-]
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<czechreck> Well I bribed the misses to pick us up from the pub with a
bottle of southern comfort
<czechreck> Apparently I made a boo-boo during drunken sex with her
tho
<czechreck> I told her I'd 'had better' |
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Quote: 46648; Rating: 87; [+|-]
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<czechreck> Hey.. I was totally shit faced, I could have impreagnated
my dog and not known untill I got an ugly litter |
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Quote: 46652; Rating: 370; [+|-]
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<C4> I overclocked my mousepad.
<tminos> thats nothing, I have my waterbed OC'ed, now I only have to sleep for two hours a night |
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Quote: 46656; Rating: 24; [+|-]
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<Gusto> you're clearly an anal assassin, your gay insults just prove your desire for penis |
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Quote: 46664; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<sh-> i can get myself banned, thank you very much
<ohdiesel> sh-: just stick your hands in the olive tray
<sh-> my idea involves indecent exposure and deli meat |
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Quote: 46667; Rating: 110; [+|-]
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<WildElf> i dunno notpad scripting too well
<WildElf> java on the other hand i sorta understand.. |
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Quote: 46669; Rating: 382; [+|-]
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<|TripleH|> church
<|TripleH|> ya know
<|TripleH|> that place with the giant T on the roof |
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Quote: 46671; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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<flawed> if you go test drive a jaguar they should give you a free neon
<flawed> as a gift |
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Quote: 46672; Rating: 690; [+|-]
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<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on |
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Quote: 46673; Rating: 333; [+|-]
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<bean-> penises are cute!
<carmzz> they look like little darth vaders |
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Quote: 46675; Rating: 116; [+|-]
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<energize> either we play ghost recon or i make a lame attempt to beat off.. realize i'm too loaded and end up passing out with my dick in my hand |
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Quote: 46677; Rating: 5; [+|-]
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(pantherqs) isnt there some gradeschool playground you should be stalking or something?
<Gusto> oh buddy
<Gusto> there are TWO, count em, TWO grade schools right beside my apartment
<Gusto> little jewish preschoolers running around
<Gusto> one day i'm going to snap a load on one of their beanies |
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Quote: 46679; Rating: 221; [+|-]
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<hoedje> how can I see witch hda I can mount?
<ymir> You don't mount witches.
<ymir> Because, I don't think they'll appreciate it. |
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Quote: 46681; Rating: -68; [+|-]
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(panthernt) but theres this big black-ish cloud in detroit's general direction
<energize> that's just niggers reflecting into the sky |
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Quote: 46683; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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(energize) wanna blow me?
(Wickey) wanna earn my trust back??
(energize) can i do both at the same time? |
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Quote: 46687; Rating: 75; [+|-]
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<Gusty> being black would be cool
<Gusty> you could have your own neighbourhood
<Gusty> where the cops are afraid to go |
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Quote: 46691; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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<pantherqs> i wonder what masturbation in the dark under strobe light with fluorescent paint on your penis and a black light would look like... |
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Quote: 46695; Rating: 604; [+|-]
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<beretta> i just sneezed and smashed my face into my knee!
<beretta> boy is my face red
<mischief> embarassing :P
<beretta> no, blood. |
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Quote: 46696; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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<|TripleH|> i prefer my ladies dead, and just before rigamortis sets in |
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Quote: 46698; Rating: 125; [+|-]
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<pantherqs> all this freaky shadow government shit they got setup now
<_Tonto> yeah, they can run it from AF1
<_Tonto> kind of like PC Anywhere
<_Tonto> except
<_Tonto> it's Congress anywhere |
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Quote: 46699; Rating: 148; [+|-]
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(+Ruskins) AeroBob doenst like star wars, so hes clearly a BIG FAG
(+Normandy) I think he was referring to your sexual orientation actually
(+Kazimierz) I thought he meant he was a giant cigarette |
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Quote: 46700; Rating: 532; [+|-]
|
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(+Kazimierz) Groundhog Day is on TV so much it's as if the film's really happening |
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Quote: 46701; Rating: 463; [+|-]
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<datacide> well
<datacide> and always remember the old saying...
<datacide> no cock is as hard as life
<Rjx> I've never heard that one
<debutante> uh
<debutante> me either
<debutante> FREAK
<Rjx> I think that should have been the line in Forrest Gump |
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Quote: 46704; Rating: 285; [+|-]
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<Swedishfish> he encodes to .rm
<Swedishfish> he cant say shit about divx encoded eps being shitty
<neclimdul> that's not even encoding
<EddyB43> RM is destruction.
<EddyB43> I might as well fire up BMP and draw crappy pictures of a show while it airs. |
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Quote: 46708; Rating: 657; [+|-]
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<Spooky42> omg i just stabbed myself in the face with a corncob holder thing
<Funky_> hahahahahahah
<Funky_> is it bad?
<Spooky42> its bleeding a little..
<Funky_> :(
<Spooky42> i got butter on it too :(
<Funky_> ok...
<Funky_> so... WHY did you stab yourself in the face with a corncob holder thing?
<Spooky42> im not sure quite how it happened :(
<Funky_> wtf
<Funky_> you don't know how you stabbed yourself in the face?
<Spooky42> i was eating corn. and it slid out of the corncob and i went to slide it in real quick and it didnt line up with the previous holes and it slid off into my cheek
<Funky_> HAHAHAHAH
<Spooky42> it hurts!
<Funky_> sorry
<Funky_> It's just too funny
<Spooky42> i dropped my corn too! |
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Quote: 46711; Rating: 51; [+|-]
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<qrg> i dont want to commercialize my orgasms |
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Quote: 46712; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<_molly_> i only shower when i A: smell, or B: fall into the mudd
<melf> Does B happen a lot ? |
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Quote: 46714; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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<Duker900> I wonder if quasar dreams in C++
<Duker900> quasar would like try to have a wet dream
<Duker900> and he'd get compile errors
<Duker900> "ERROR: func_erection is undefined" |
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Quote: 46716; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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<ateteen> somery: I'm a professional Common Lisp developer and faraday-cage technician.
<sklib> if you mention common lisp again
<sklib> I will fucking put a knife up your butt
<sklib> and carve myself a hamburger |
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Quote: 46717; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:u00a0u00a0 Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are ingesting tape worm eggs.
<Jouka> Bwahahaha
<Cindy728> um.....ew.... |
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Quote: 46720; Rating: 615; [+|-]
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<Buck> Light travels faster then sound, thats why people seem bright until you hear them... |
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Quote: 46721; Rating: 200; [+|-]
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<Baker> Can't sleep properly now... was bad rolling over and the missus wasn't there :(
<Vindictive> I wouldn't be able to sleep if someone WAS there to roll on :P
<Baker> Na - its an amazing feeling - rolling over half asleep and getting a cuddle...
<Vindictive> lol, don't know it :P
<Vindictive> Does a cat count? |
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Quote: 46723; Rating: 18; [+|-]
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(Torben): a friend of mine drank a glass of vomit for another small frat, although he could have said no to that
(Torben): he got 90 euros for it but i would still never do that
(Alomar): didnt he drink a glass of piss, threw that up and someone else drank that piss-vomit?
(Torben): err another friend drank the piss first
(bananana): what the fuck is wrong with people?
(Biggdogg): yea, id tell them to shove that up their frathappy asses, heh
(Torben): i'm now confusing things, the piss-drinker got the 90 euros, the other one got nothing
([TE]Plantman): lol
(Torben): but still
(Biggdogg): piss drinker. something to be proud of, heh
(Torben): :p
([TE]Plantman): which is worse? Doing something like that for free, or doing it for money? In one you're sort of a prostitute...in the other you're just stupid :p
(bananana): you can fuck a thousand men and noone will say a thing.. but drink piss once and you're branded as a piss-drinker for life |
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Quote: 46724; Rating: -13; [+|-]
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u0095 [BD]NDI is away: Curling out nice long strands of Shite
u0097u009b nick: ([BD]NDI) is now known as ([BD]NDI|Shoite)
(Dunceor) spam |
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Quote: 46726; Rating: 92; [+|-]
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(sean) OMFG
(sean) dominos came
(sean) and when dominos comes
(sean) sean cums
(BigRo2k2) ok, and what?
(BigRo2k2) ok buddy
(BigRo2k2) you are a little too excited for shitty pizza man |
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Quote: 46730; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<RndmLeon> Well as I'm on this network all the time I suppose I might as well camp here as well
* RndmLeon prods Asimov
<Ankheg> good kid. stand by for assimilation
*** Ankheg sets mode: +o RndmLeon
<Ankheg> assimilation complete
<RndmLeon> Argh, No ple.... Drone ready |
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Quote: 46731; Rating: 39; [+|-]
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<Hunam> waggy: damn, how old is she, 1?
<waggy> Hunam: no she is like 9 now. but i think she is haveing surgery to fix it soon |
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Quote: 46735; Rating: 227; [+|-]
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<soapZOMBIE> when you go to college, you'll be the "old guy" in class
<soapZOMBIE> everyone will say "what the hell is that old guy doing here at college?"
<demizius> better than the bald guy right?
<soapZOMBIE> i wear hats |
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Quote: 46736; Rating: -41; [+|-]
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<soap> people with crooked pensis are innately gay because they fit in asses better |
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Quote: 46737; Rating: 130; [+|-]
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<Wynn> Hey, my face is my fortune.. and that's why I'm broke. |
|
Quote: 46738; Rating: 167; [+|-]
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[00:49:53] * Wynn is now known as Wynn|ZzzZ
[00:50:14] * Gothmog is now known as Goth|aslp
<Goth|aslp> nightall
<Wynn|ZzzZ> geez.. don't make it too obvious..
<Wynn|ZzzZ> at least wait 5 mins, dammnit.
<Goth|aslp> i cant. i want you i need you oh baby oh baby
<Wynn|ZzzZ> you *wish* you were Julia Stiles.
<Wynn|ZzzZ> heck, *I* wish you were Julia Stiles.
<Goth|aslp> lol |
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Quote: 46741; Rating: 81; [+|-]
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<stonr> woulda been fun
<stonr> if i wasn't getting raped constantly |
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Quote: 46744; Rating: 514; [+|-]
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<_Tenchi_> i also start feeling old when i see all these new fangled colors in
M&Ms and Lucky Charms
<Vulpyne> Didn't they only used to be like brown and yellow?
<_Tenchi_> yeah
<_Tenchi_> these days i cant tellw hether im eating M&Ms or skittles
<rs> tenchi:u00a0 mix 'em together and you've got S&Ms |
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Quote: 46745; Rating: 330; [+|-]
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<Mojo> FF games never appealed to me
<Mojo> i feel unique and smart
<Mojo> and less nerdy
<Mojo> wait i never was nerdy
<Mojo> YEA
<Threeboy> hey, NEWS FLASH YOU'RE ON GODDAMN IRC! |
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Quote: 46748; Rating: 125; [+|-]
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<TonyD> wtf is wrong with ztnet?
<Pr3ttyF1y> tonyd: blame lev
<TonyD> i already did, it didn't help |
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Quote: 46750; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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<PureNRG> Is it ok if a parent forks a few children then dies, leaving the children to finish what they have to do then die themselves later ? or should the parent stay doing nothing and reap the kids ?
<boog2> It's tragic if children die before their parents. |
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Quote: 46754; Rating: 154; [+|-]
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* osmaker wonders if u have a broken software CD and email it back to the 'publisher', if they will replace it for free.
<Gnimsh> Publisher=MS?
<osmaker> sure
<osmaker> any publisher
<Gnimsh> How do you email them a cd?
<osmaker> dunno for sure |
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Quote: 46757; Rating: 155; [+|-]
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<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:u00a0u00a0 Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are ingesting tape worm eggs. |
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