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Quote: 362137; Rating: 9992; [+|-]
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<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
<ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt
<r`heaven> :(
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Quote: 362423; Rating: 194; [+|-]
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@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: I never been to the states
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: and I WILL NOT cross the boarder
@Raged|work: its better that way
@Raged|work: we don't need ya
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: but ur women do ;)
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: they all want some of my Canadian beef baby !
@Sile: i crossed the border into Canada at Niagra Falls once
@Sile: i was sitting there thinking "damn, the canadian chicks are hot!"
@Sile: then i realized that they were all american tourists
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Quote: 362484; Rating: 325; [+|-]
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<Taco> I fear for my little cousin
<Taco> he's going to be a loser in school...
<Taco> you know how I know?
<Taco> Because he's very much like how I was at that age...
<Taco> :/
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Quote: 362774; Rating: 672; [+|-]
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<enjoi> why would you name condoms after a horse that hides all the invaders inside and then lets them go once theyre inside?
<ShodoPan-> i bet it's named after the viruses
<ShodoPan-> you know, they slip right in and the recipient doesn't even realize it
<ShodoPan-> oh shit that's not good either
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Quote: 363094; Rating: 1417; [+|-]
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Strategy: what the fuck
Strategy: shipping cannot be 27$
Alpha: it better come in a wooden crate with a midget cradling the harddrive for that price
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Quote: 363454; Rating: 1467; [+|-]
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genjer: so my sister asks me if this shirt makes her look fat
genjer: and I was like, "no the fat underneath does"
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Quote: 363485; Rating: 979; [+|-]
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<Big_Fat_Duck> wait its stuck at updating
<Big_Fat_Duck> 1 second left
<Big_Fat_Duck> read to play in approx. 1 second
<Diazo> it's a microsoft second
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Quote: 363553; Rating: 1699; [+|-]
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<@Laplie|Gone> I just don't place periods at the end of my sentences every time.
<@TacoMaster> Periods are important...
<@TacoMaster> You start missing periods...
<@TacoMaster> Next thing you know...
<@TacoMaster> BLAMMO!
<@TacoMaster> Babies.
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Quote: 363616; Rating: 709; [+|-]
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* Ksu eats a bowl of crappy generic macaroni
* SSL_Eefui idly drinks arsnic.
* Nigelenki stops fui o.o
<Nigelenki> arsenic isn't edible o.o;;
<Shadow> Yes, it is
<Shadow> But only once
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Quote: 363820; Rating: 1766; [+|-]
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<Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a chick came up to me.. kissed me, squeezed my balls, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wtf?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I
realized the bitch had stolen my cellphone =(
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Quote: 363821; Rating: 1310; [+|-]
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<neo_alex> stop arguing you fucks
<enz0> Maybe it's YOUR mum
<spandrick_doll> fuck you
<spandrick_doll> you just cant haxk it
<spandrick_doll> *hack
<neo_alex> that does it, im creating characters of you in The Sims and im gonna make you have a gay marriage
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Quote: 364005; Rating: 1540; [+|-]
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Spreadursunshine: wow you werent online all yesterday
EinhanderMKII: Yeah I was out doing things PRODUCTIVE
Spreadursunshine: omg! its a breakthrough
Spreadursunshine: like what?
EinhanderMKII: fixing my internet
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Quote: 364046; Rating: 1575; [+|-]
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<TriPa^> my mother is a cleaning fanatic
<TriPa^> one Saturday she told me and my brother to get down to the playroom and straighten it up
<TriPa^> we had a party there the previous evening, and she was none too happy about the mess
<TriPa^> as she watched us work, it was clear that Mom was completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us know it
<TriPa^> finally my brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked Mom:
<TriPa^> can I use this, or were you planning to go somewhere?
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Quote: 364176; Rating: 834; [+|-]
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<sunfish>I stopped a rape in the city last night
<Donnyman>How'd you do that
<sunfish>Simple I stopped following her.
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Quote: 364339; Rating: 2247; [+|-]
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<rhyno> okay
<rhyno> I must be losing my mind
<rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station
<rhyno> because I can't find my car keys
<rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago
<DaemonX> pj station?
<rhyno> yeah
<rhyno> gas station
<rhyno> but the thing was
<rhyno> I was going there to get gas
<DaemonX> without your car?
<rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys
<rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk"
<rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I going here for.."
<rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!"
<rhyno> then walked back
<DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that
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Quote: 364341; Rating: 2290; [+|-]
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<@reflir> also, my harry potter sex bot arrived
<@reflir> err
<@reflir> I mean boxed set
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Quote: 364676; Rating: 1260; [+|-]
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<philosophiliac> lol this arvo some guy started quoting the 2nd amendment at a teacher after knocking some crow out of a tree
<MissBitch> hahahahaha
<philosophiliac> with a shoe
<MissBitch> ...
<philosophiliac> seriously he goes
<philosophiliac> "the 2nd amendment states that all citizens have the right and obligation to bear arms"
<philosophiliac> "and shoes"
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> "we made it very clear to those terrorists that we would tolerate no more attacks"
<philosophiliac> and lockie here just got shat on"
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHAHHA
<philosophiliac> we have decided it is time to attack with neccessary force to show the crows that we mean business"
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> if they hit us"
<philosophiliac> we hit back
<philosophiliac> HARD
<philosophiliac> with whatever comes to hand
<MissBitch> im holding my nose so i dont burst out laughing here
<philosophiliac> and we cannot be held responsable for a war they started
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
<philosophiliac> in the war on crowism, ur either with us
<philosophiliac> or ur against us
<MissBitch> hahahahahahaha
<MissBitch> thats just so hilarious
<philosophiliac> oh yeah
<philosophiliac> the teacher was in hysterics
<philosophiliac> but the guy got a detention neway
<MissBitch> hahahaha
<MissBitch> oh well
<MissBitch> woulda bn worth it!
<philosophiliac> yeah
<philosophiliac> we were basically on the ground we were laughing so hard
<MissBitch> hahahahaha
<philosophiliac> and he didn't crack up once
<philosophiliac> and as the teacher leads him away he goes
<MissBitch> if i didnt want to wake my parents, id b killin myself laughin
<philosophiliac> "u can lock me up, but this war is a neccessary one"
<MissBitch> oooooooooooooh
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> "and one that will be contnued by freedom loving students with shoes everywhere"
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHHAHA ROFLMAO
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Quote: 364782; Rating: 6643; [+|-]
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<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface.
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Quote: 365072; Rating: 8849; [+|-]
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<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.
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Quote: 365264; Rating: 1507; [+|-]
|
Alh4zred: You know, I realized something.
GenduShini: You love me?
Alh4zred: I'd rather play games than have sex, you know why?
Alh4zred: Think about it.
Alh4zred: During sex, you have to please TWO people.
Alh4zred: Or more.
GenduShini: because Games last more than 10 minutes
GenduShini: err
GenduShini: that too
Alh4zred: AND
Alh4zred: In a game, if you're not doing well, someone just goes "fgt" or something
GenduShini: and you just go "my current PC sucks" or "It's an off day"
GenduShini: But in the sack...
Alh4zred: In real life, you have some chick (in my case) that goes "Are you a faggot? That sucked"
Alh4zred: You can't blame a bad orgasm on lag.
Alh4zred: Dude.
Alh4zred: You can't.
Alh4zred: "I faked all those orgasms"
Alh4zred: "stfu i was pinging 300"
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Quote: 366119; Rating: 178; [+|-]
|
<kungtotte> Probably have back-logs from hell at bash. Geeks on IRC are like those one million monkeys with typewriters
<[moose]HuBBa> with less intelligence though :)
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|
Quote: 366266; Rating: 1214; [+|-]
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<Emperor> Oral sex is when you talk dirty, dumbass
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Quote: 366903; Rating: 1032; [+|-]
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<neverrain> omg i went outside
<neverrain> i havent been outside in weeks
<neverrain> it was.....freaky
<c7r> nerd
<Axis100> I can usually determine the last time I went outside by using /systemuptime.
<Axis100> 6 days, 28 mins and 16 seconds
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Quote: 367188; Rating: 655; [+|-]
|
<Schitz02> its microsoft. they don't have bugs
<Schitz02> they have unpublished features
<Qooiii> like the function office calls randomly called void Randomly_Crash_And_Delete_Document(void)
<Schitz02> right, just like that one
<Qooiii> i wish they had at least made it predictable
<Qooiii> like the paperclip guy could pop up and say
<Qooiii> "it looks like word is going to crash. would you like to save your document?"
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Quote: 367567; Rating: 454; [+|-]
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<x`fearless> whoever's turn it is says like "never have I ever done this..." and if you've done it u gotta drink
<x`fearless> omg some girl was like never have I ever had anal sex and 3 girls at the table drank I'm like OMGOMGOMG
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Quote: 367755; Rating: 1419; [+|-]
|
<SPLURGE> bitch tells me i got a drinkin problem
<SPLURGE> i tell her she has an ugly problem and im tryin to make it less obvious
<SPLURGE> we dont get along so well after that
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|
Quote: 367808; Rating: 5917; [+|-]
|
*** Zeron is now known as you
* you farted.
* you sigh in frustration.
* you lose
* you suck at life
*** Wildfyre is now known as our
* Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life
* our conversation is entirely too weird
*** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we
* we are going stir crazy
* you are going a little too far
* our laughter fills the offices nearby.
* you are fired.
* we need new jobs
* you agree
* you wonder when this madness will end
* we are not sane
* you are correct
* our sanity has left?
<Talathar> you know...if a sane person were to walk in here...they'd be very very confused right about now...
* you are one with the matrix.
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Quote: 367871; Rating: 585; [+|-]
|
[LoTek] my girl bleeds a lot.
[LoTek] like, for 5 or 6 days
[LoTek] that cant be normal.
[Dissembler] wow, you should take her to the vet.
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Quote: 367884; Rating: 695; [+|-]
|
(+sok|puppet): i loves my cereal
(+Harri): i'm hungry
(@Zaphod): Yeah, cherios should be just about the right size for you to 'love' as much as you want
(+Harri): now i'm not
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Quote: 367896; Rating: 8661; [+|-]
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<Fashykekes> Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."
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Quote: 368251; Rating: 1214; [+|-]
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Titanium_Dragon> Hey everyone
Titanium_Dragon> I had a revelation today
Titanium_Dragon> Everyone knows that more intelligent creatures (humans, dolphins, chimps, ect.) tend to have sex for fun
Titanium_Dragon> But some people believe that sex for any reason but procreation is wrong
* Titanium_Dragon never put two and two together
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Quote: 368691; Rating: 654; [+|-]
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<cmdline> 1010100110001001
<cmdline> 101101
<nystagmus> yea i know.
<nystagmus> tell me about it.
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Quote: 368808; Rating: 10358; [+|-]
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<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
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|
Quote: 368878; Rating: 875; [+|-]
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iamnotavirusbot: hi friend, check out my new profile: http://jsc.uk.uy/progs/admin/virus.exe
iamnotavirusbot: what do you think?
iamnotavirusbot: ops i got to go by
Natural Defiance: What are you a f-in retard?
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Quote: 370001; Rating: 951; [+|-]
|
<}813-Error{> i ask a question in #perl and get RTFM and they go back to talking about metallica...
<}813-Error{> d Match digit character <that would be numbers right?
* C4 knows nothing of perl
<modem> same here :/
<modem> ask in #metallica
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Quote: 370251; Rating: 329; [+|-]
|
<Ashen> NP: [bangles - eternal flame.mp3]
<Ashen> k, i feel really gay right now
<Ashen> NP: [Lords Of Acid - Show Me Your Pussy.mp3]
<Ashen> there we go
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Quote: 370253; Rating: 962; [+|-]
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<ScasE> You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.
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Quote: 370601; Rating: 713; [+|-]
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< segphault> command line interfaces, and convoluted keyboard shortcuts I
have no problem with.... but the childproof cap on the advil
bottle... its my arch-nemesis.
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Quote: 370812; Rating: 2114; [+|-]
|
EndOfForever: So, how do you like being a jew?
AvatarOfPirate: It's ok.
EndOfForever: What's speaking hebrew like?
AvatarOfPirate: It's ok. It's hard to read though. There aren't any vowels expressed in it. You have to.. sort of figure it out. It's like...
EndOfForever: Talking to people on AOL?
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Quote: 370931; Rating: 443; [+|-]
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* nufan Is a GENUIS
<nufan> oops
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Quote: 370933; Rating: 1297; [+|-]
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<GinjaNinja> Your momma is so fat, she gets -8 to her AC.
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Quote: 370939; Rating: 451; [+|-]
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<Psyche> hi
<steve_> sobering up yet?
<Psyche> no
<Psyche> im still drinking
* ecks sets mode: -o Psyche
<ecks> DONT DRINK AND OP
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Quote: 370987; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<+Synista> so
<+Synista> I downloaded this fly fishing movie
<+Synista> since I need to learn how to cast properly
<+Synista> turns out it was a pr0n movie called fly fishing
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Quote: 371438; Rating: 2741; [+|-]
|
* ^haksor^ has joined #pipari
<^haksor^> anyone have a serial for Soldier of Fortune 2???
<tiltti> Y34H-R1GH-TYOU-N3RD-4SS
<^haksor^> thanks
<^haksor^> not enough letters in that???
<tiltti> try adding -H0L3 to the end of it
<^haksor^> ok
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Quote: 371444; Rating: 2283; [+|-]
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<Christina> *kisses back* I love you
<Josh> I love you too babe
<Christina> I take off your pants, sliding my hands up your thighs, watching your cock get hard.
<Christina> That's what he said to me
<Christina> I was like "Wtf dude? One, I'm a chick and two what the hell?"
<Christina> And he was like "Oh shit, wrong conversation"
<Josh> ...
<Christina> Oh shit, wrong conversation
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Quote: 371808; Rating: 472; [+|-]
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<MoF0-> hmm
<MoF0-> why has nortons said all my keygen are " at risk files"
<Blaqeagle> because norton is like that schizophrenic kid at school who
keeps on yelling out in class shit about flying cows or
something when your trying to do your work
<Blaqeagle> occasionally he actually yells out something coherent, but
you suspected it anyway
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Quote: 371868; Rating: 833; [+|-]
|
<TheShadowHunter> I won three purple hearts once
<Wildcard|Comicing> ...no you didn't. You were just playing Zelda.
<Wildcard|Comicing> You really need to adjust the color on your TV
<TheShadowHunter> oh
<TheShadowHunter> I guess that couldve been it
|
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Quote: 371960; Rating: 2629; [+|-]
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<@Lerou> Lag makes baby Jesus cry.
<@TempusRob> pssh
<@TempusRob> talk about lag
<@TempusRob> it took him 3 days to respawn
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Quote: 371989; Rating: 767; [+|-]
|
<SkyJammer> I need a cute girl to give me a neck massage.
<shellspark> What about a semi-attractive monkey?
<SkyJammer> No.
<SkyJammer> A cute girl. Human.
<MousePad> Your standards are way too high.
<SkyJammer> Your standards are way too low.
<shellspark> Perhaps, but I bet he gets his neck massage
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