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Quote: 166566; Rating: 923; [+|-]
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<twanks> i met this chick at the bar the other day
<twanks> and she was all like "i wanna fuck your brains out" steamy woman...
<twanks> so i was all "hell yeh"
<twanks> so we come back to my place
<twanks> and she jumps on my bed, strips down
<twanks> then she opens her legs wide, begins strokin the ole axe wound
<twanks> and shes moaning and stuff
<twanks> and dude
<twanks> i reckon i coulda had sex
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Quote: 166572; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<mm13> people who eat people
<mm13> are the hungriest people
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Quote: 166683; Rating: 1278; [+|-]
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<zP|Russina`cs> the teacher was like justin did you do your homework
<zP|Russina`cs> i was like no forgot to
<zP|Russina`cs> shes like well thats bad news
<zP|Russina`cs> i was like well i got some good news i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance
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Quote: 166809; Rating: 920; [+|-]
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<DigiB0t> Coming Up : ' Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening '! Your current DJ is : MaxxSpawn! We currently have 0 listeners.
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Quote: 166906; Rating: 583; [+|-]
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<emlodro> what country is exe
<think> binary islands
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Quote: 166910; Rating: 785; [+|-]
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<schnorks> OFFICIAL ATOMIC TIME: 11:41:28PM CDT
<Sigma> OMG schnorks has the A-BOMB
<schnorks> No, the atomic time has nothing to do with weapons of any sort.
<Coco13> schnorks is correct.
<Coco13> The second is based on the wavelength of a particular atom.
<schnorks> What about the first?
<Coco13> You are such a fucking whore.
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Quote: 166920; Rating: 1352; [+|-]
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<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.
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Quote: 166937; Rating: 325; [+|-]
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DittzieBlondee06: is she a better kisser then me
DittzieBlondee06: haha
onkeybutt87: haha, I wish I knew
DittzieBlondee06: hahaha
DittzieBlondee06: i bet ya do
DittzieBlondee06: lol
onkeybutt87: I'll just have to use my imagination
DittzieBlondee06: yep
DittzieBlondee06: ya will
onkeybutt87: or chloroform
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Quote: 166952; Rating: 418; [+|-]
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<RoyCastle> i think my body is compensating for my not eating anything by delving deeper into insanity
<RoyCastle> like earlier I was looking at a picture of a dead cat on the internet and for a moment it made me understand multivariable calculus
<mflynn00> liar
<RoyCastle> k.. it was midget pr0n
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Quote: 166956; Rating: 5880; [+|-]
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[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake
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Quote: 167054; Rating: 791; [+|-]
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(@[e]space) going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion
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Quote: 167081; Rating: 286; [+|-]
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<dekk> your mom lost her virginity in a penis accident
<[b&]shoez> i lost my penis in a virginity accident
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Quote: 167145; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<@maroo> I jumped off a bridge into a river once... they asked me what I was doing... I told them I was LARPing a fish.
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Quote: 167230; Rating: 1034; [+|-]
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<Trekkie> this ant has run around 15 times around the screen of my monitor
<IceBerg> kill it with ur mouse
<Trekkie> i tried clicking on him; he wont die
<IceBerg> no you nerd, smash it with your mouse
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Quote: 167247; Rating: 1230; [+|-]
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<squid> This spider is such an asshole.
<Sushi-X> y dont u just smash it with impunity?
<squid> It's on the ceiling, and I am not.
<Sushi-X> tell it to come down and fight like a man....or you can climb and fight like a spider
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Quote: 167361; Rating: 1172; [+|-]
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<Lachlan> Doogie, what the fuck do you think the emergency generators are there for?
<Doogie> ummm....
<Sam> Generating Emergencies.
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Quote: 167435; Rating: 741; [+|-]
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<despair> I need a nigger HD :(
<despair> b
<despair> bigger
<despair> omfg... bad ass typo
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Quote: 167524; Rating: 788; [+|-]
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<AV-Cables> np: [ - ] [06:05m]
<Frozen-Solid> god DAMN your tags suck av.
<AV-Cables> I know. :D
<AV-Cables> No, I have to re-tag them.
<AV-Cables> I just converted ALL my songs to 192kbps.
<AV-Cables> And the Smashing...LIVE! soundtrack to 320kbps.
<Frozen-Solid> uh....
<Frozen-Solid> converted from what...?
<AV-Cables> 128kbps
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Quote: 167569; Rating: 579; [+|-]
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<Lointamer> oh crap...kids found my vibrators again
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Quote: 167574; Rating: 362; [+|-]
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<kinkos> can you use a tesla coil as a sexual toy?
<Aegis`> yah, but only once.
<kinkos> once is all i need!
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Quote: 167594; Rating: 653; [+|-]
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<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?
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Quote: 167698; Rating: 1940; [+|-]
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<ancho> do girls like it if you stick your hand up there ass??
<ancho> hurry plz.. im in the middle of something
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Quote: 167731; Rating: 893; [+|-]
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TrivBaby: QUESTION: 1992 - what did the church of england allow women to become?
catman1229: men
destinatas: priests
destinatas: clergy
ZaDaRoN: members
LmRiVaRaT: sluts
QuarkSoupXYZ: pregnanat
LmRiVaRaT: bitches
destinatas: queens
LmRiVaRaT: hoes
ZaDaRoN: divorced
LmRiVaRaT: whores
dbcpool: voters
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Quote: 167746; Rating: 304; [+|-]
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<Mr_Vain> I'd rather have an admirer than a stalker any day
<Phrim> what's the difference, Bonz? :-)
<Mr_Vain> a stalker doesn't blink when they look at you
<Mr_Vain> it's very unnerving
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Quote: 167799; Rating: 426; [+|-]
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<Zombie_Punk> You bastards wouldn't know a Clerks reference if it analy raped your mother while pouring sugar in your gastank.
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Quote: 167825; Rating: 432; [+|-]
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* ol has joined #mapcore
<Flashdevil> I will rub my sperm in so many places that they won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror without getting pregnant.
<ol> um... did i come in at a bad time?
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Quote: 167837; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<Trife> black kids don't even dress up over here, they just come over and say 'can i have candy'
<sloth> yeah
<sloth> dude
<sloth> one had a trash bag on
<kokanin> hey
<kokanin> they're dressed as flying eyes and teeth!
<Trife> last year the black kids came back the next day trying to sell me candy
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Quote: 167844; Rating: 1045; [+|-]
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<ZS> Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
<Kevyn> What's scary about heaven?
<Phantomlord> dude, christians hang out there.
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Quote: 167863; Rating: 1414; [+|-]
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<jaymeekae> i feel so american
<Moonman> you shot someone?
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Quote: 167873; Rating: 368; [+|-]
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<`Riku> Ok, so there's this UN meeting, and there are a lot of important people in there discussing how to get a peace in Iraq
<`Riku> after the meeting the President of France comes to George Bush and says: "Mr. Bush, there's something I'd like to ask... My son is a huge Star Trek fan, and he'd like to know why there are no Arabians on the show?"
<`Riku> Bush thinks a second, then smirks and says;
<`Riku> "Cause it takes place in the future."
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Quote: 167874; Rating: 1038; [+|-]
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<ppolf> I told my brother if you take the cotton wool bit out of a vics inhaler and rubbed it under your eyes, you see in black and white.
<ppolf> He kicked my fucking head in after bawling his eyes out for two hours.
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Quote: 168090; Rating: 822; [+|-]
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herblackwings29:: I'm bored
shotgunlo:: me too
shotgunlo:: but I'm also hungry
herblackwings29:: I have tacos
shotgunlo:: mmm
herblackwings29:: they are like cardboard though
shotgunlo:: I would love to eat your taco, Becky
herblackwings29:: I bet
herblackwings29:: my taco doesn't taste like cardboard
shotgunlo:: I love the fact that you know that
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Quote: 168093; Rating: 11; [+|-]
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* Now talking in #israel
<Idiot-boy> Hey #israel! Soo... hitler.
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Quote: 168123; Rating: 488; [+|-]
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<BeadGrl> just call me Mrs. Robinson
<Greek> haha
<ZekeMacNeil> Beadgrl likes her men in the same manner that she likes her scotch.
<BeadGrl> aged 18 years in a barrel?
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Quote: 168191; Rating: 1125; [+|-]
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<ChaosReactor> RIAA is tricksy try to tricks us.
<ChaosReactor> Try to take away our precious!
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Quote: 168269; Rating: 7; [+|-]
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<Arran> brb, loo.
<Stirfry_Ninja> arran is anally retentive
<aussie_singh> :p
<Stirfry_Ninja> :D
<EvoX> he rents his anus??!!
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Quote: 168320; Rating: 1100; [+|-]
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<darko``> Heh, funny how ignore doesn't completely ignores certain nicks/masks. Some kind of messages still pass by.
<Ashe> Guess you have a crappy client
<darko``> Maybe it's just my client though :/
<Ashe> Guess I'm the one ignored
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Quote: 168702; Rating: 525; [+|-]
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<wilywampa> dazey said i'm almost out of money and said i need to get a job
<wilywampa> i said i could steal money instead
<wilywampa> and she asked from whom
<wilywampa> i said "from old ladies, i can steal their money and beat them to death"
<wilywampa> and she said "that's awful, why would you do something like that?"
<wilywampa> i said "because babies don't have money"
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Quote: 168857; Rating: 1090; [+|-]
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<mojo> I want me a pet monkey.
<Synthetic> My aunt had one, the smell was ungodly. It was allways beating off and if it got scared it would deficate in it's hand a throw it.
<mojo> I know, that's why I want one. If it can beat it's self off then I can teach it how to do it to me.
<synthetic> ...
<Capin> Um... so anyway I went to the zoo this one time and one of the gorillas stole my dad's wallet!
<Synthetic> That was no gorilla, it was a black guy in a fur coat. The son of a bitch has my shoes.
<mojo> I still want a monkey if anybody cares.
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Quote: 168859; Rating: 5096; [+|-]
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<FreeFrag> The most secure computer in the world is one not connected to the internet.
<FreeFrag> Thats why I recommend Telstra ADSL.
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Quote: 168917; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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Kirby: So like this one time I was fucking this dude in the ass and then I threw up on his back.
ZAn3Yt: I didn't now you were gay Kirby...
katchup: He isn't, that was a shakespeare quote.
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Quote: 168935; Rating: 463; [+|-]
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<Dareon> I wonder where my package is.
<Valvados> checked between your legs?
<Dareon> If it was there, I wouldn't be so bored right now, would I?
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Quote: 169167; Rating: 23; [+|-]
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Geeky Weezer Fan: Is she still downright refusing head?
onkeybutt87: haha
onkeybutt87: I haven't really asked her since Saturday
onkeybutt87: but I think so, yeah
onkeybutt87: why?
Geeky Weezer Fan: Slit her throat.
onkeybutt87: well, I guess that's one way to get it in there...
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Quote: 169866; Rating: 842; [+|-]
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ashp: OMG MATT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MATRIX
ashp: AFTER THE BIG SHOWDOWN WITH SMITH
ashp: RUFUS DROPS OUTTA THE SKY AND SAYS "MOST EXCELLENT DUDE"
ashp: and it was all just an excellent adventure
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Quote: 169962; Rating: 818; [+|-]
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<Dyne> I've been playing Dance Dance Revolution Max 2 for only a week and i've lost 10 pounds.
<Dylflon> That's nice.
<Dyne> Really, you should try it. You need to get in shape.
<Dylflon> I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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Quote: 170136; Rating: 452; [+|-]
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<EvilerMonkey> what time zone u in
<Johntuan> canada
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Quote: 170272; Rating: 167; [+|-]
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[runedude]: im getting akilled too :((
[runedude]: bye folks
[21:25:43] ::: Quit: (runedude) (autokilled: [speedis] Requested by user to stop ircaddiction.)
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Quote: 170330; Rating: 548; [+|-]
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<wonderwoman> and electrode pads around the rectum are reason enough to pay attention to a thorough shave. . .
<wonderwoman> um, oops
<dellarte> wow that was enlightening ww
<wonderwoman> um, wrong window
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Quote: 170408; Rating: 1333; [+|-]
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< relnev> cool, this 8-page pdf has 3 pages intentionally left blank
< relnev> that's like a big waste of e-trees
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Quote: 170425; Rating: 707; [+|-]
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CaptainRonfornow: How do you spell idal correctly
CaptainRonfornow: that it right idal
Sylas Cren: idol?
CaptainRonfornow: yeah thats right
Sylas Cren: heh
CaptainRonfornow: i am making a folder of people who are idol or on phones.. cause i dont want to talk to them
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