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Quote: 47329; Rating: 654; [+|-]
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(http://www.yodelbank.com is the worlds first cyberbank u can access using IRC bot commands)
*** Now talking in #yodel
<r0bb0r> right this is
<r0bb0r> a stick up
<yodel> hi r0bb0r
<r0bb0r> gimme all ur money
<r0bb0r> and no one gets hurt
* r0bb0r waves gun at all
<r0bb0r> come on then i am not joking
<yodel> here take it!
<yodel> DRAN_100.00_20031119_ShcjkX/CTzeExE0icgZColDatsQ_F+CldGJPOQO4VKMxSnPdH6SaER w
<r0bb0r> thank u
<r0bb0r> is this your first robbery?
<yodel> yes
<r0bb0r> excellent i can claim the first IRC robbery in history
* r0bb0r runs off |
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Quote: 47348; Rating: 90; [+|-]
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* [A]LastOutlaw ([email protected]) has joined #script
<[A]LastOutlaw> anyone know what this means "Break: command halted (line 1098, sonica.mrc)"
<God> something or someone cancelled the script
<[A]LastOutlaw> then how do get rid of it...
<God> stop cancelling it
<[A]LastOutlaw> k
* [A]LastOutlaw ([email protected]) has left #script |
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Quote: 47356; Rating: 1457; [+|-]
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<BradJ*hnson> OMG, I lost my mouse!
<Dilly4> Your cursor, or your entire mouse?
<BradJ*hnson> Um, both.u00a0 Isn't the cursor attached to the bottom of the mouse?
<Dilly4> What?u00a0 Do you run your mouse around on the screen?
<BradJ*hnson> No, on the mouse pad...oh, I see.u00a0 The cursor is the arrow, right?
<Dilly4> New to computers, eh?
<BradJ*hnson> You wouldn't believe it, but I'm actually really good with computers
Dilly4 doesn't believe it.
<BradJ*hnson> How did you do that?u00a0 I got my mouse back!
<Dilly4> it typed "/me doesn't believe it"
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wants to make money with computers"
Dilly4 suggests that the best way for you to make money is to sell yours.
<BradJ*hnson> Fucker.
GanGreen thinks he'll submit this lameness to Bash.
Dilly4 nods in agreement.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wonders if this is working right on your end.u00a0 What is Bash?"
<Dilly4> GanG, make sure you blank out his name so his family (and future customers) don't see what a lamer he is.
<GanGreen> NP.u00a0 How about if I make it "BradJ*hnson"?
Dilly4 laughs his head off.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me goes "Just so long as no one recognizes it...I DO sounds kinda stupid.u00a0 I'm smrat tho"
Dilly4 can't control his fits of laughter
<BradJ*hnson> smart.u00a0 you all suck hard. |
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Quote: 47381; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<The-Virus> any C programmer here :)
<wf> yea i got a C in programming class
<wf> that count? |
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Quote: 47382; Rating: 164; [+|-]
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<suebatwork> How about "want to come to my apt. to smoke a j?" think that will work for a pickup line
<grivas> really good if your name is "j" |
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Quote: 47390; Rating: 71; [+|-]
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(Mobb-Deep) still using AO hell?
(tori_anus) no, shabbo.. it's just one of those aol shell accounts so i can be ereet |
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Quote: 47392; Rating: 158; [+|-]
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<triky> my dad, to this day, says he was in vietnam. and i'm like... dude... that's clinton oklahoma you were in. you joined the airforce so you wouldn't get drafted into the army and die
<triky> the old man then learned computer programming
<triky> and wrote the very famous program that made kentucky fried chicken cash registers work |
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Quote: 47403; Rating: 621; [+|-]
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<Shivaway> sue me im bored shitless
<mmx> eat a dick? :(
<Shivaway> no thx
<Shivaway> im on a no dick diet, i hear it goes straight to your ass |
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Quote: 47420; Rating: 221; [+|-]
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<Cheez> oh ffs. how many times. they should have SO given dos an LS command |
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Quote: 47427; Rating: 1084; [+|-]
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<wormy98> naw, its one of the new plasma screens
<beretta> plasma? isnt that the stuff that the caves in alaska shoot out?
<wormy98> no. that's lava, volcanoes, and hawaii.
<EDMundane> beretta: is there any limit to your stupidity? |
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Quote: 47430; Rating: 151; [+|-]
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<Pigsbig78> my chat up line is "awk chmod grep"
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: mine is 'omg, you whore, someone chmod a+x your-vagina'
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: omg, you bitch! mv possessions outside; chown %n car; chmod 600 car; echo 'int main(void) { printf("x25sn", "haha, you bitch!!n"); }' > meep.c; gcc meep.c -o meep; ./meep |
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Quote: 47457; Rating: 498; [+|-]
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<@keoki> If he is, however, constantly harassing you, then report it to an IRCop.
<Rogue> Report it to chanserv
<@ChanServ> Report it to me? Bleh, I am just here to aid with channel help, and op you silly mortals.
<Rogue> ChanServ doesn't normally talk back to me, he is like the god on IRC, i believe!
<@ChanServ> And I said, let there be services! and it was so. |
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Quote: 47462; Rating: 714; [+|-]
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<DavidGilmour> Some people are like Slinkies... generally useless, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. |
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Quote: 47464; Rating: 590; [+|-]
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(MolsonCanadian) http://www.cnn.com/2002/EDUCATION/11/20/geography.quiz/index.html
(TheOneShamrock) 70 percent cannot find New Jersey, 49 percent cannot find New York, 11 percent cannot find the United Statesu00a0 <--- THOSE are the scary ones!
(anticimex) ROFL doesn't the US have schools?
(anticimex) Only 71% can find the pacific ocean!
(Moik) Lord save us if THAT'S the Protector of the Free World.
(Moik) "Quick, they need our help guarding freedom in Malaysia!"
(Moik) Later in Amsterdam...
(Moik) "Malaysians sure smoke alot of hash!" |
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Quote: 47472; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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<ReAc> i never alternate between wanking and typing
<ReAc> that's just unhygenic
<ReAc> unless you're typing with one hand
<Hecateh> im typing with the up strokes |
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Quote: 47482; Rating: 148; [+|-]
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166296586: Hello.. How are you? I hope great :-)
Lockee: hello, how are you?u00a0 i hope not another fucking spambot
..... (some time later) .....
Lockee: aww cmon, that all you got?
Lockee: a single scripted annoying ass message?
Lockee: wait, i know
Lockee: damnit i'm stupid.....
Lockee: i just advertised this number as being active
Lockee: which means now your company can sell it to even LESS scrupulous companies
Lockee: fuckmefuckmefuckme |
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Quote: 47490; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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<Dek> i have jackass downloaded
<Killrbyte> Dek: I downloaded JackAss.u00a0 It was actually Fight Club.u00a0 Fucking morons.
<Dek> i was trying to download porn and got jackass....go figure |
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Quote: 47507; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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<Wynn> ... I've been single for a long.. long.. long.. time now...
<Wynn> and the ladies have been warned.
<Gothmog> (as have the men, the livestock and any particularly animate parts of the vegetation) |
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Quote: 47528; Rating: 219; [+|-]
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<spiecq> mike my gf wanna visit canada can we stay at your place
<Miscreant> yeah, your gf can stay at my place.
<Miscreant> we can find a hotel for you spice |
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Quote: 47530; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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IVIasterFunk: biacksfourteen
Biax14: iviasterflunk
IVIasterFunk: funk*
IVIasterFunk: bastard
Biax14: D'oh
Biax14: My mistake ;
IVIasterFunk: my ass
Biax14: is smeely
IVIasterFunk: the l is nowhere near the l key
IVIasterFunk: u*
IVIasterFunk: fuck |
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Quote: 47532; Rating: 294; [+|-]
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<@kmad> //say $calc(Sersans IQ)
<@Sersan_43> 0
<@Sersan_43> wtf |
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Quote: 47540; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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<@playstation201> check the device manager silly
<[TSE]SPaZED> where's that at?
<@playstation201> right click on My Computer, click properties, then click hardware, then click device manager
.....
<[TSE]SPaZED> im still looking for my computer
<@playstation201> ok, then press and hold the windows key, and press the pause break key
<@PSX_Cheatster> Oooo... ain't that fancy
<@playstation201> impress at my hotkey skillz PSX_Cheatster? :-p
<@PSX_Cheatster> Not really playstation201, I don't need to memorize silly hotkeys like that cause I'm smart enough to find My Computer... |
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Quote: 47541; Rating: 84; [+|-]
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<somebodyelse> The original message was received at Wed, 20 Nov 2002 21:07:42 -0600
<somebodyelse> from miaqfl-as-2-ip-6.atlantic.net [209.208.60.37]
<somebodyelse>u00a0 u00a0 ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
<somebodyelse> <[email protected]>
<somebodyelse>u00a0 u00a0u00a0 (reason: 550 5.7.1 <[email protected]>... relay attempt failed)
<somebodyelse>u00a0 u00a0 ----- Transcript of session follows -----
<somebodyelse> ... while talking to mail.seekeywest.com.:
<somebodyelse> >>> RCPT To:<[email protected]>
<somebodyelse> <<< 550 5.7.1 <[email protected]>... relay attempt failed
<somebodyelse> 550 5.1.1 <[email protected]>... User unknown
<somebodyelse> why do i get that?
<dnky> because, no one would bother to email "[email protected]" |
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Quote: 47542; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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<dokutake> i never saw the appeal of buttsex anyway
<dokutake> i mean, receiving, there's a cock up your ass, and if you're giving, you're getting poo on your wang |
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Quote: 47557; Rating: 147; [+|-]
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<demonrest> anyone know of a site that would be good to find out if there is a .net activation bypass?
<Jaykul> demonrest?
<Jaykul> you're not asking for warez HERE, are you?
<Daemon> he already got the warez
<Daemon> he needs the crack |
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Quote: 47574; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Rambozo> wow
<Rambozo> the lights went out
<Rambozo> it's blacker in here than monday nights on UPN |
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Quote: 47583; Rating: 169; [+|-]
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<@nik0li> SANTA MONICA, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- A woman in Santa Monica, California, is attempting to lose weight in a manner others may not be able to stomach -- an all-semen diet.
<@nik0li> Starting December 1, a plump porn star named Kim Kelly hopes to lose between 10 and 20 pounds by spending 30 days on a diet consisting largely of semen -- or as she prefers, "man juice."
<@prence_> shit, ill eat my own man-juice if it will help me lose 30 pounds! |
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Quote: 47586; Rating: 166; [+|-]
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<Abstract> must be nice to have an employer who pays you
<lophyte> it is..
<lophyte> your employer don't pay you?
<Abstract> nah my clients suck major ass
<Abstract> and i hate them
<lophyte> lol
<Abstract> and the only thing i will ever code for them again is a spoon so they can eat my ass |
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Quote: 47588; Rating: 298; [+|-]
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Ibekev: yeah that does, I guess you never really know until you meet someone and I'm not trying to put any assumptions into any of this other than I am willing to meet new people and learn more about myself and them at the same time, I don't think you can go out there looking for you soul mate or whatever, it just happens but it won't happen if you're just sitting on your couch
Keli_86: right..i completely agree with you
Ibekev: So I guess the rule of thumb is to see this as a way to meet new friends and just see
Keli_86: you couldnt have put it any better
Ibekev: cool, so you wanna get naked and put your webcam back on? |
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Quote: 47590; Rating: 116; [+|-]
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<GSValore> basic VMS system I configured a moment ago from compaq was like $33,000US
<GenmaC> haha
<GenmaC> "hmmm...get a car...get a VMS box...get a car...get a VMS box..." |
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Quote: 47595; Rating: 306; [+|-]
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<Kyou|awaying> omfg i almost had a heart attack
<Kyou|awaying> I FUCKING HATE STUPID ADS WITH SOUND >_<
<HKR|Paper> LOL
<HKR|Paper> Especially if it's a pr0n add, and your speakers are cranked and your parents are in the room next door
<Kyou|awaying> my speakers are always cranked =
<HKR|Paper> They suddenly hear "AH AH AH!"
<HKR|Paper> "WTF IS THAT?!" they yell
<HKR|Paper> Uh...my brothers rap cd's. |
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Quote: 47599; Rating: 440; [+|-]
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<pandabob> Dude, you want to catch bin Laden? Open an account in his name at Blockbuster, and don't return a few DVDs.
<pandabob> *That'll* catch Bin Laden. |
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Quote: 47600; Rating: 36; [+|-]
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<ChineseElite> dirty is a fsking prono in itself
<ChineseElite> ahh shit ive been on net too long.. i just said prono |
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Quote: 47604; Rating: 186; [+|-]
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<Threeboy> if you run linux you pretty much scream "IM A VIRGIN" btw. |
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Quote: 47610; Rating: 275; [+|-]
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<Shinji>u00a0 Like a couple playing catch with an aborted fetus, atleast I caught my mistake. |
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Quote: 47615; Rating: 38; [+|-]
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<snowdrake> no sooner do I upgrade my BIOS for >64GB support than, by all appearances, a kernel driver appears that supports the jumper option I disabled.
<snowdrake> but BIOS native support is probably the better option.
<MDK> It's a feature. "Annoying Updates"
<MDK> In a 4098-bit encrypted folder in an invisible subdirectory.
<MDK> I guessed the key by typing with two fingers. |
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Quote: 47627; Rating: 407; [+|-]
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<tn> !@)#(%&#R
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> hahaha
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<tn> everything.,
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on.u00a0 try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time.u00a0 i have better things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
<Peon> ^^ |
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Quote: 47631; Rating: -101; [+|-]
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<daenonok> thats pretty funny...d4n just icqed me that there have been like 48k quotes submitted to bash
<daenonok> and less than 10k made it in
<daenonok> that means theres 38k ppl who wasted their time submitting crappy quotes
<daenonok> thats pretty funny |
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Quote: 47633; Rating: 248; [+|-]
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<milenko> brand new gaming pc $2500
<milenko> upgrades to play the latest games $500
<milenko> losing your girlfriendu00a0 $0
<milenko> having a state of the art rig and spending all of your time bumming around on irc with other losers just like you PRICELESS |
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Quote: 47638; Rating: 533; [+|-]
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Join: Mr_Shroom ([email protected]!)
<Mr_Shroom> Good gracious.
<Mr_Shroom> My ass is bodacious.
<Mr_Shroom> I had no idea!
<Mr_Shroom> Why was I not informed of my spanktacular backside?
<Mr_Shroom> Eh?
<Mr_Shroom> ...
<Mr_Shroom> Don't make me lay waste to your cities!
<Mr_Shroom> Fiiine.
<Mr_Shroom> You big babies.
Part: Mr_Shroom ([email protected])
<Coan_Arcanius> he's right, he did look good leaving |
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Quote: 47643; Rating: 1732; [+|-]
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<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ^_^u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ^_^u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ^_^u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 ^_^u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 O_ou00a0 u00a0 u00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 o_Ou00a0 u00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 O_ou00a0 <-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 O_O<-----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 O_x----<<<
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0u00a0 <x_x--<<<
<s3ph>u00a0u00a0 <--x_x<<<
<s3ph> <----x_x<
<s3ph> ----<x_x
<s3ph> --<<<x_x
<s3ph> <<<u00a0 x_x
<s3ph> <u00a0 u00a0 x_x
<s3ph>u00a0 u00a0 u00a0 x_x |
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Quote: 47644; Rating: 1052; [+|-]
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<pimp^master> so u a girl or boy
<triscuit> why you want to know
<pimp^master> cuz i looking for a gf
<triscuit> ah, well I should tell you irc is not the place to look, because there are tons of lying malicious people out there
<triscuit> but I'm a female with large breasts |
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Quote: 47645; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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<SvenN00B> i have a script that'll msg me and tell me when people mention my name in rooms and stuff
<SvenN00B> so i mentioned my own name and now it's in an endless loop telling me that SvenN00B mentioned my name and .. yeah .. it keeps on going :P
*** SvenN00B has quit (Remote closed the connection) |
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Quote: 47646; Rating: 611; [+|-]
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<Gatsby> Glutamate to Lysine aat 487!
<Insom_BF> what I can't figure out
<Insom_BF> is how you manage to spell glutamate and lysine, but misspell 'at' |
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Quote: 47647; Rating: 819; [+|-]
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<k3tty> nfi
<APULYG> Whats nfi?
<TBC> no fucking idea.
<APULYG> Well shut up then if you dont know
* TBC beats the crap out of APU for being s00pid. |
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Quote: 47652; Rating: 316; [+|-]
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*** sCHrAnZeR has joined #jungle
<sCHrAnZeR> ok is that Polish room ?
<EllesDee> you mean this room?
<EllesDee> yeah
<EllesDee> we're all polish
<EllesDee> but disguised cause no one likes us
<sCHrAnZeR> czemu nikt nie lubi Was ?
<sCHrAnZeR> :)
<EllesDee> DISGUISE MAN!
<EllesDee> speak english, people should think we're ordinary
<EllesDee> otherwise the undercover will blow up and we'll all get k-lined
<sCHrAnZeR> oh I didn't know
<EllesDee> hmm..
<EllesDee> gee
<sCHrAnZeR> I'm not good in mIRC
*** sCHrAnZeR has quit IRC |
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Quote: 47667; Rating: 44; [+|-]
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<teek> tenchi, ebay!
<_Tenchi_> bah fuck ebay
<_Tenchi_> i wouldnt buy a $9 cutlery set off of ebay
<fate-> heh, a friend of mine in London bought a chest of drawers off of ebay, had to go pick it up by car (an hour away)
<fate-> it sucked and wasn't of high quality like he expected, so we took it back, and on the way smashed it up, and left it on the guy's doorstep |
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Quote: 47669; Rating: 456; [+|-]
|
<patchmonkey> After_8 - On the other hand, in 1995, a schoolteacher wrote to the Washington Post and stated, "I was told children are not to be expected to spell the following words correctly: back, big, call, came, can day, did, dog, down, get good, have, he, home, if, in ,is, it, like, little, man, morning, mother, my, night, off, out, over, people, play, ran, said, saw, she, some, soon, their, them, there, time, two, too, up, us, very, water, we
<unstable_at-work> dog? a fscking kindergarden student can spell dof
<Fraggy> hahahahaha @ unstable
* unstable_at-work runs and hides now |
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Quote: 47679; Rating: 537; [+|-]
|
<cppdog-> :\
<cppdog-> I just got raped at the park
<cppdog-> OS Uptime (WinME): 3hrs 55mins 35secs
<scotteh> after a good rape, the first thing you really wanna do, is check yer uptime |
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Quote: 47688; Rating: 259; [+|-]
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[@Archmage_Anasyn]: FUCKING HELL MICROSOFT ARE GAY
[+Mr_Day]: Can a company be gay?
[+Mr_Day]: Will it only sleep with other monopolies? |
|