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Quote: 5349; Rating: 16; [+|-]
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<Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks
<Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks.
<Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches, the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks
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Quote: 5351; Rating: 54; [+|-]
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<brad-> I wish excite personals were still easy to look through to bag on people with.
<brad-> And find hot dates.
<LkTruth1> brad- wants to find a mother suitable for his daughter.
<LkTruth1> Or a large man.
<brad-> A little girl suitable to make another.
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Quote: 5353; Rating: 426; [+|-]
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<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
<AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
<AlmtyBob> and back in the days
<AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can run
<AlmtyBob> and they would
<AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad lost his legs in a construction accident'
<AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the best reactions from people
<AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
<AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a supervisor
<AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to go up to this chick and ask the same thing
<AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few years back
<AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
<AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there
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Quote: 5357; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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<+shagman> man, my ice water tastes like shit this morning
<+SuperGayHomo> well don't get it out of the toilet bowl
<@shagman> I wonder if it's my ice cubes
<@shagman> I'm gonna try the ones from the other tray
<@shagman> ahhhhh, much better
<@SuperGayHomo> those ones came from the tank
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Quote: 5359; Rating: 323; [+|-]
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<CountZer0> but where is the recycle bin in dos?
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Quote: 5362; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if my policy covers gangland shootouts."
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Quote: 5370; Rating: 443; [+|-]
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<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better than old ones.
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Quote: 5371; Rating: 407; [+|-]
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<Focks> "Can I have a fag?" "You're a fag" "I mean a cigeratte, mate" "I'm not your mate, you fag!"
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Quote: 5376; Rating: 513; [+|-]
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<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*
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Quote: 5378; Rating: 12; [+|-]
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<offwYtE> noWay man, tha tis a wikked statement
<offwYtE> well i thought it was
<offwYtE> maybe not sure what it means now
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Quote: 5379; Rating: 441; [+|-]
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<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you
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Quote: 5388; Rating: 363; [+|-]
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<infin-01> sorry, you don't qualify for 31337 status, only 31336 status.
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Quote: 5389; Rating: -2; [+|-]
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<noj> i hate when my wang pokes out the bottom of my jeans
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Quote: 5391; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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tatsumio: itd be pretty neat to have a vagina somehwere on my body that I could have sex with
Oogy Boots: :O
tatsumio: and the vagina got the full orgasmic effects too
tatsumio: imagine.
Oogy Boots: and you thought I was a freak!
tatsumio: double orgasm
CyAteon: if it was on his arm or something would be really weird.
CyAteon: not only would you be having sex with your arm
CyAteon: but your arm would orgasm
Oogy Boots: LOL
CyAteon: unf unf unf unf ARGGGGGGHARARHGA <arm cramps up>
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Quote: 5396; Rating: 381; [+|-]
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<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college students fail so much
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Quote: 5404; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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<JFelix> So they're fags but you still want them to suck your cock? You fag.
<Zoglog> what can I say
<Zoglog> beggers cant be choosers
<JFelix> Okay, you have a point.
<Zoglog> BUT THATS NOT THE POINT
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Quote: 5406; Rating: 1104; [+|-]
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*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated. by the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow..."'
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Quote: 5407; Rating: 359; [+|-]
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<Ron> I am from the land where we do not speak english, I am sorry for this minor setback
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Quote: 5409; Rating: 187; [+|-]
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<AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
<AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
<AK[coding]> But in a few months...
<AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will be showing up in your poor terminal.
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Quote: 5410; Rating: 328; [+|-]
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* Praetor takes a piss right in the middle of the channel
* andy slashes Prae's penis off.
<andy> That takes better vision than you might think.
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Quote: 5411; Rating: 7052; [+|-]
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<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.
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Quote: 5412; Rating: 447; [+|-]
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<FireMoth> Tat: what were your grades like in the first semester?
<tatsumizzz> Like, low.
<tatsumizzz> I suppose the fact that I told my English teacher I had an erection one time didn't help.
<Ear> Yeah. You forgot to raise your hand.
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Quote: 5414; Rating: 87; [+|-]
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<cool__G> I can define 1/0
<illusionz> liar
<BeZoAR> thats like trying to define illusionz sexuality
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Quote: 5415; Rating: 561; [+|-]
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<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch it twice tho
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Quote: 5416; Rating: 313; [+|-]
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<DrWoody> i do'nt belkivein drinkng
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Quote: 5417; Rating: 866; [+|-]
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<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm hoping it's a coffee table."
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Quote: 5418; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<Guilty> Now I see that your Utopia is more of a Fruitopia
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Quote: 5419; Rating: 335; [+|-]
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<MisterQ> I found a way you can call people for free while on the internet
<shilantra> oh really
<Republica> It's called "Your Neighbor's Phone"
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Quote: 5420; Rating: 821; [+|-]
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<Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios shirt on.
<Psifire> And something occured to me.
<Vykuzich> pants?
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Quote: 5421; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar
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Quote: 5423; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh.. ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!
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Quote: 5426; Rating: 4210; [+|-]
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<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!
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Quote: 5427; Rating: 1754; [+|-]
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<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's
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Quote: 5431; Rating: 545; [+|-]
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<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count
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Quote: 5432; Rating: 210; [+|-]
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<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble
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Quote: 5438; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<Spooky> What agitates your grotesquely large noggin?
<Alexander> Human EXISTANCE
<Spooky> Righto...only that?
<Spooky> I accepted their powerful funk of stupid long ago...only not really.
<Spooky> I can't go to a mall when it's busy or I start shaking.
<Spooky> Shaking (read: Killing)
<Alexander> yeah I know that shaking/maiming feeling
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Quote: 5440; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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<Spooky> So I'm arguing with this guy about Starwars
<Spooky> which I hate
<Spooky> And he's like: " I hated episode 1 cause jar jar was stupid"
<Spooky> and I said that Jar jar was about as stupid as ewoks
<Spooky> and he got all idignant and said ewoks were cool
<Spooky> WTF IS WRONG WITH STAR WARS FANS
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Quote: 5443; Rating: 716; [+|-]
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<Goku> :O
<kepler> hold that face goku
*kepler unzips
*aegis runs away
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Quote: 5447; Rating: 36; [+|-]
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<aussie> whats wrong with racial profiling?
<Jake> Absolutely nothing, as long as it's unbiased.
<The_Roach> That's a contradiction in terms.
<JD> I've never been profiled so, I would say nothing
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Quote: 5449; Rating: 257; [+|-]
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<oogie> I wonder would oral sex would feel like from one of those african women with the big plate in their lower lip
<oogie> you could have a little tray to rest your nuts on on her lower lip
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Quote: 5460; Rating: 684; [+|-]
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<Sinner> how do you stop a cat from trying to fuck your other cats
<gjvc> get in there first
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Quote: 5462; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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<Sinner_> i know someone who fucked a turkey once
<gjvc> i wake up early
<gjvc> check my email
<Murex> i dont see how i could actually fit my average cock into a chicken
<Sinner_> he was mad at his family
<gjvc> and see this shit
<Sinner_> and he fucked the thanksgiving turkey
<lazydog> bhahah
<gjvc> ahahahaha
<Murex> hahhahaa
<gjvc> lord
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Quote: 5463; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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<Frizz0> anyone want a compaq proliant raid server 256M hardware raid p-pro200
<Frizz0> its about to get sold for drugs
<k5sss> payment in drugs, or payment in cash to buy drugs?
<Frizz0> either way is fine
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Quote: 5464; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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<abt32v> if you need a car to pull bitchez, plz recheck yer game
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Quote: 5465; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head hunters to even fucking return a call
<moose> "do you have a ccna?"
<moose> BITCH HAVE YOU READ MY RESUME
<moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"
<moose> sigh
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Quote: 5468; Rating: 2382; [+|-]
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<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
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Quote: 5473; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<ExCon> ihave one wish b4 i goto army rho :)
<ExCon> op for 1 day :D
<[SuN]> im not that soft :P
<ExCon> what if i die and never come back ?;D
<[SuN]> ill make a bot called ExCon and give it ops
<ExCon> oh..i feel honored
<ExCon> :D
<[SuN]> ;)
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Quote: 5475; Rating: 134; [+|-]
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<kaleido> how hard is it to plug a fuckin modem into a router
<kaleido> "well i dont know what to do, man"
<kaleido> fuckin christ
<kaleido> where do we find these field engineers
<PunkScum> compton?
<kaleido> i was thinkin guinea
<kaleido> but compton might be right
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Quote: 5479; Rating: 202; [+|-]
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<Sinner_> you tell me who you want killed, and ill tell you the girl i want the blowjob from
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Quote: 5482; Rating: 361; [+|-]
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<foo> You got to think like a poet.
<cain> I think you're a cunt.
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