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Quote: 50872; Rating: -25; [+|-]
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<[1RB]sika> once you fuck a ham it will change your life forever
<Lee> Really? I found Turkeys to be the best fucks
<[1RB]sika> but hams have a perfect sized hole in the middle already cut
<Lee> I know, but turkeys have those nice little wings that act perfectly for handles
<[1RB]sika> balogna is good too
<[1RB]sika> and when you're done jacking off with it you can call your pets to clean up the mess
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Quote: 50873; Rating: 153; [+|-]
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Christian[LG]: install windows ME or take cyanide, which is the better suicide option ?
Mouce: ME
True|Fogge: ME makes you take cyanide
kronny: nah cyanide, it dont take over an hour to take effect
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Quote: 50877; Rating: 94; [+|-]
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<Juridian> 'You have reached the 1-800-HACKERS tech support line, all of our operators are currently busy. Please leave your IP, username and password at the beep and we'll get right back to you....' *beeeeeep*
* The-Rev is calling 1-800-HACKERS
<The-Rev> brb
<The-Rev> Bet its some sort of adult line
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Quote: 50884; Rating: 300; [+|-]
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<TSU> want a penis butter and jelly sandwich Cross? :o
<CrossAlkaid> Sure.
<CrossAlkaid> Oh wait.
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Quote: 50887; Rating: 438; [+|-]
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<rootd> Got my room down to about 35-40% fragmented... much better than the 70-80% earlier
<Jeian> you defragmented your room?
<rootd> yea
<Jeian> too much computer for you... :]
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Quote: 50891; Rating: 12934; [+|-]
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<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^
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Quote: 50892; Rating: 551; [+|-]
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<bionicfen> OK I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE CATHOLIC
<Sak> BW - Do everything you do now, except feel guilty about it.
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Quote: 50896; Rating: -21; [+|-]
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<Hammer> im pretty good at typing with one hand
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Quote: 50906; Rating: 14; [+|-]
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<Coult> im 65 years old
<Coult> and I still get more pussy than you
<Daishi> 11 y/o girls who you tricked with candy dont count
<Aamperix> I know.
<Aamperix> I feel bad for you.
<Aamperix> Hey little girl, want a Butterfinger? I have a nice Bitesize butterfinger...want one?
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Quote: 50909; Rating: 10; [+|-]
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<dlewis> anyone want to buy an iPAQ H3670?
<RichiH> not really
<RichiH> it has windows on it, after all :)
<dlewis> you can install linux on it.
<RichiH> hmm, right
<RichiH> but it will still be a compaq :)
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Quote: 50915; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<CitizenErazed> I dunno, there are other, better things to do while you're in bed
<tomjone5> like play chess. always does it for me, anyway
<CitizenErazed> so THAT'S what you and Jen spend all your time doing, matt?
<tomjone5> yup, I can keep going for hours at a time
<tomjone5> but have you even thought of the positions you can play in? gets me all tingly just thinking about it
<CitizenErazed> tantric chess books, then?
<tomjone5> I'm still writing the kama chess, expect to see it in 'special' bookshops next month
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Quote: 50916; Rating: 235; [+|-]
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<@Gallahan> Anyone know the geographic distribution for AOL proxies?
<@abombpk> hell?
<@Lyle> thats an understatement
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Quote: 50921; Rating: 154; [+|-]
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<Slartibartfast_> pr0n is incredibly boring.
<Slartibartfast_> You can only look at so many goats before you start to get tired of it.
<Sn0w> Slartibartfast_: I have a patern. Change a fetish every month
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Quote: 50922; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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<cinnabar> tv rots the mind, destroys the imagination, promotes obsesity, and encourages commercialism.
<jazzstepa> its the american way
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Quote: 50925; Rating: 311; [+|-]
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[ Genia4 ] one sec i'm looking for the url of the iq test
[ Genia4 ] i want u to do it
**Approximately 8 Minutes Later**
[ Genia4 ] http://www.iqtest.com/
[ @AirRaid ] it took you that long to remember that url?
[ @AirRaid ] FOR AN IQ TEST?
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Quote: 50926; Rating: 153; [+|-]
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[ @DrZaius44 ] i miss anything?
[ +CpuMan2001 ] !seen anything
[ @Drunkfux ] CpuMan2001, anything was not found in the database.
[ +CpuMan2001 ] apparantly not
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Quote: 50927; Rating: 722; [+|-]
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[ @Kruegel ] CharCoal69 what version of mIRC do you have?
***Approximately 18 Minutes Later***
[ +CharCoal69 ] NINETY
[ +Hammer[pth] ] haha, I don't know what was funnier
[ +Hammer[pth] ] the latency of the reply, or the reply itself
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Quote: 50930; Rating: 474; [+|-]
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[ @Hammer ] Okay, I was going to have some Count Chocula, so I started pouring a bowl. But then I ran out before I filled the bowl, so I just filled the rest with Cocoa Pebbles cause that was the only other cereal we had. So I open the fridge, and we have no milk, only chocolate milk. So yeah, I consumed about 5 years
worth of chocolate intake in that one meal.
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Quote: 50932; Rating: 345; [+|-]
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*** Joins: Canadianpirate (java@=YEpe33-53-450-851.om.om.cox.net)
<@Oshi> Eyarrr, eh?
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Quote: 50938; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<RichiH> you could always use netbsd if you want maximum security
<RichiH> ppl are gonna nmap you and see that it is a netbsd box
<RichiH> so they will think "that's a propped-up toaster anyway, no use hacking it" and you are safe
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Quote: 50940; Rating: 101; [+|-]
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<Sn1p3r> Transferred 75 files totaling 3.41 GB in 01:20:20 (751.53 KBps)
<Sn1p3r> man, thats a lot of shit
<[Piratez]> be sure to flush
<[Piratez]> get a plunger while ur at it, i doubt 3.41gb will go down in one flush
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Quote: 50941; Rating: 68; [+|-]
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* nick > Stalkaout is now known as Stalkachu
<@Miz> and where have you been?
<@Cheez> considering hes at university hes probably been out drinking / getting stoned / getting laid
<@Miz> considering its Stalkeh i'd wager not
<@Cheez> LOL
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Quote: 50944; Rating: 308; [+|-]
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<@Netwizard> Osamas dead
<@Burned> perhaps
<@Burned> i just dont want osama to keep releasing albums like tupac
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Quote: 50946; Rating: 466; [+|-]
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<yuethomas> so I'm not a psychopath. Boohoo.
<Dom> Well, psychopath doesn't mean murderer or killer
<Dom> They're just more likely to
<Dom> They tend to appear very intelligent, only their vocabulary is very extensive, but if you are intelligible about the topic they're discussing you will usually find it has no real substance.
<Dom> Just lots of misused or illogical jargon
<yuethomas> Case in point. o_o
<yuethomas> and cliches, i'm sure
<Dom> Yep
<Dom> And they drift from topic to topic very easily
<yuethomas> speaking of the weather
<Dom> :D
<Dom> Thanks, I brushed it this morning
<yuethomas> Did it grow?
<Dom> And how
<yuethomas> I know eh
<Dom> I'll have to paint it one day
<yuethomas> Use some duct tape too
<Dom> and hotpants
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Quote: 50949; Rating: 51; [+|-]
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<Westy> not enough porn chans if you ask me ;(tv channels)
<atdt> there's like 6 or 7 of them
<Westy> none here... unless you pay extra
<atdt> well, yeah. you've got to order them
<Westy> bah
<Westy> should be thrown in with the family packs
<atdt> heh
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Quote: 50951; Rating: 320; [+|-]
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<knif> i remember when my cousin had a house with aluminum wiring, when it rained you could open the garage by turning on the stove
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Quote: 50954; Rating: 718; [+|-]
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tom: guys
tom: youb willb neverb elieveb this
tom: butb myb spaceb keyb keeps bputtingb ab spaceb andb then bab
tom: ab b
tom: whatb theb fuck
Cube: rofl
Cube: thta's really funny
tom: MAKEB ITB FUCKINGB STOP
tom: ohb heyb I bfoundb theb problem
tom: there bisb something bbetweenb theb bandb spaceb keys
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Quote: 50959; Rating: 95; [+|-]
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<bCc> Here are my Desperate Attempts To Get Rid Of AOL
<bCc> 1) I hired and exorcist to get rid of AOL on my computer. It failed to work.
<bCc> 2) I also buried CD's In holy water, the holy water evaporated but the CDs survived and now glow red...
<bCc> 3) I pissed on my AOL CD's and returned them to AOL...They sent me a thank you note for the cologne
<toc-> haha
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Quote: 50962; Rating: 382; [+|-]
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<Frosted_Frank> hey does anyone in here know how to get info on people via email addresses?
<Enossel> email them and ask them
<Frosted_Frank> oh, thx
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Quote: 50963; Rating: 144; [+|-]
|
The_Loser_: Lol. 2 Ads just came on TV. The first one shows a cowboy guy telling me how I can find all my holiday gifts for everyone at "Tractor Supply." and then at the end he says "Hope y'all have a good christmas." and after that, an Ad for the flea market came on. - Thank you for the brutal reminder that I'm in a
Southern State. *puke*
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Quote: 50965; Rating: -93; [+|-]
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*The_Loser_ I'm sorry, lol, but it's just my opinion that the rest of Canada does nothing but make Quebec look bad. Canada sucks. Quebec is cool.
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Quote: 50966; Rating: 228; [+|-]
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[4th]Tortu: i've never had a single STD...but i think it's cause you have to have sex to get em
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Quote: 50967; Rating: 303; [+|-]
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<rH-rogue> just cuz there's no bulge because i don
<rH-rogue> 't asdlhfaslhdfasdf
<rH-rogue> damn it
<rH-rogue> i just had premature enterkeyation
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Quote: 50972; Rating: 207; [+|-]
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<Bliss|CS> anyone got a good server
<Threeboy> for webhosting? yeah i do.
<Bliss|CS> free?
<Threeboy> no, i said GOOD.
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Quote: 50974; Rating: 130; [+|-]
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<thetourist> just watched my lotr dvd
<thetourist> :)
<antiuser> nice :D
<thetourist> yea, those 30 extra minutes are awesome
<lech> what do they consist of?
<lech> as if the movie wasnt already long enuff
<thetourist> man, the new scenes add a lot to it
<soap> LIES
<antiuser> :E
<antiuser> OBEY
<soap> 30 minutes of the hobbits masturbating doesn't "add" anything
<thetourist> ok, i'm lying it's all hobbit porn
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Quote: 50976; Rating: 370; [+|-]
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<Ed> I like those upside-down ketchup bottles.
<Ed> They were a long time coming, but still.
<IQpierce> They were mentioned in Revelation, as a sign of the Apocalypse.
<IQpierce> "And yea, the moon shall become as fire, and fall into the sea, and the ketchup bottles, they shall invert themselves, and the winged bears shall pull the arms from the sockets of the faithful, in thy mercy."
<IQpierce> direct quote.
<Ed> They're apocalyptically convenient!
<IQpierce> That's why their slogan for this campaign is "Apocalycious!"
<IQpierce> And inside every cap is a free press-on 666 forehead tattoo!
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Quote: 50988; Rating: 369; [+|-]
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<faR_away-> i won 30 grand
<faR_away-> so i have some $$$$
<Toy-MaCHiNE> did u really
<faR_away-> no i'm just kidding
<Toy-MaCHiNE> you wouldnt be here if u had 30 grand
<faR_away-> i know
<faR_away-> i'd be at mcdonalds
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Quote: 50989; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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<WonderMut> Interesting, if Khan died from the Genesis thingy, and Spock was sent to the planet the Genesis thingy exploded on, how did Spock come back from the dead while Khan didn't?
<halcyon--> jesus
<halcyon--> this is like watching movies with my grandmother
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Quote: 50993; Rating: 90; [+|-]
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icbm: hah
icbm: my entourage is coming over
icbm: I'm gonna go ahead and give them their christmas presents
icbm: I bought my 3 hoes vibrators
kuruption: uh
kuruption: you mean your "friends"
kuruption: and the 3 girls who wont let you touch them.. but hang out with you cuz you're friends with the guy who gets them their weed
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Quote: 50998; Rating: 276; [+|-]
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([rSu]iridium) xenex and I are on the same train of thought today. I want to get off :)
([Ci]XeneX) the train, I hope.
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Quote: 51005; Rating: 121; [+|-]
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<MilitiaX> yo guys, anyone know a music irc server?
<dustin> if only goatse had an ircd with an ascii version in the motd
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Quote: 51009; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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* Sticks whoops for joy
* Sticks cheers insanely
* Sticks parties and dances around the room in a polka-dotted frock whilst screaming with inane joy
<VooDoo> i guess the email server is working now huh?
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Quote: 51010; Rating: -68; [+|-]
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<ACityBus> brb sleep
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Quote: 51025; Rating: 202; [+|-]
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<ilovebeer> dont hate just cuz i fuked ur gurl
* GBL|DJ_Huxtable thinks......socrates.........can you even get a gurl?
<Socrates> hey yeah... ilovebeer i dont even have a girl.. so how can you fuk her....
<Socrates> gg i win
<Socrates> kinda...
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Quote: 51027; Rating: 674; [+|-]
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[12:42am] <Convinced> darkvibe
<Convinced> what we talked about, i will work on it tomorrow, ok?
<darkvibe> whenever
<darkvibe> no hurry
<darkvibe> and much appreciated
<`rush> oh, way to spark the interest of the ENTIRE FREAKING ROOM.
<[vV]Criminal_Intent> hey `rush, that thing I said about that stuff, I am going to do it the day we planned exactly the way we discussed.
<`rush> [vV]Criminal_Intent: ok, but don't forget to bring that thing that we talked about. make sure it's heated to the temp we decided on. and the panties are the color you mentioned. do you remember the place we converesed about meeting?
<[vV]Criminal_Intent> i remember clearly, I got the panties but dont forget the accesories we discussed or the issues with law enforcment and animal rights
<`rush> ah ah.. right. i'll have to speak with the man who i told you about to clear up the issues we came up with. also, the club drugs i told you about will be X ammount of hours late, where X is equal to the number that we predetermined prior to this conversation.
<`rush> this is getting rediculous.
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Quote: 51028; Rating: 278; [+|-]
|
<Spooky42> my uncle took off his shoes and it instantly filled the room with a strong odor of sweatyballs rubbed with parmesan cheese.
<ZippyOne> oh, that's not me then
<Spooky42> haha
<Spooky42> god..
<Spooky42> its stinks so bad
<Spooky42> sigh
<Spooky42> i WAS eating.. now im not and cant breathe
<ZippyOne> got some air freshener?
<DarkPhan> <Spooky42> my uncle took off his shoes and it instantly filled the room with a strong odor of sweatyballs rubbed with parmesan cheese. <-- uhm... just how do you know what that smells like?
<Spooky42> lets just say i have an unpopular scratch and sniff book
<Spooky42> and dont ask why i scrathed the 'sweatyballs rubbed with parmesan cheese' sticker.
<ZippyOne> you were tired, and it was next to strawberry
<Spooky42> across the page from runny baby poop
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Quote: 51033; Rating: 240; [+|-]
|
<autistk> underneath your clothes there's an endless story?
<autistk> riiiiight
<autistk> I suspect something was lost in the translation
<autistk> or is it about the scene in the neverendingstory when the kid steals the book by hiding it up his sweater?
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Quote: 51038; Rating: 154; [+|-]
|
<Really_Stoned> why is it when you buy a new hd and they tell you, that you can never fell the sob up in about 2 weeks your deleting stuff on it just to make space
<zvxrfpu> because data expands to fit the space available.
<dfwdaddy> so do warez and porn.
<dfwdaddy> you didn't make your requirements clear to the salesperson, clearly.
<Really_Stoned> i actually dont have any porn on any of my computers now cause it takes up to much space
<dfwdaddy> when you walked into compusa and said 'where are your harddrivez' he didn't really hear the Z
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Quote: 51041; Rating: 210; [+|-]
|
* drdink ponders getting his dad the Magellan Meridian Gold GPS
* drwiii watches irony strike as it gets lost in the mail.
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|
Quote: 51045; Rating: 17; [+|-]
|
<nix-> -17/30- <intrinsic> We can't talk anymore, okay?
<nix-> -17/31- <intrinsic> Because of certain circumstances.
<nix-> -17/31- <nix-> Which are?
<nix-> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH
<Jon-> wtf?
<Jon-> she has problems?
<nix-> ermm
<nix-> interesting
<Jon-> shes prolly a guy and now he feels guilty
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